CRITICAL ... A-claim
a lesson in iambing and enjambing ...61 total reviews
Comment from Judian James
Oh, DAMMIT. I'm not allowed to give you a sixer for this brilliance. NOBODY can write about ANYTHING in perfect rhyme and meter like you can. This is VERY smart, my Sweet!!
Oh, my old sport of a girl. You nailed it on so many levels and I just about fookin' died when I went snooping for a particular review from you know who. Your retort was spot on, old chap (or should it be chapette?) Bravo!! MEma
p.s. SMART title too. ****** (a virtual sixer)
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Oh, DAMMIT. I'm not allowed to give you a sixer for this brilliance. NOBODY can write about ANYTHING in perfect rhyme and meter like you can. This is VERY smart, my Sweet!!
Oh, my old sport of a girl. You nailed it on so many levels and I just about fookin' died when I went snooping for a particular review from you know who. Your retort was spot on, old chap (or should it be chapette?) Bravo!! MEma
p.s. SMART title too. ****** (a virtual sixer)
Comment Written 22-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Aww thanks Judette...I appreciate your fookin choice review and virtual sixer on this. Funny how people seem to think this is about someone...to be honest my love its just following up on a frustration plenty of half decent reviewers feel here! *wink*...if just one person learns something from this then my job is done...looks like they loved it...just picked up two new fans! LOL
It pays to speak your mind my friend. Then again you would know I am not good at the flouncy bs...I leave that for others...haha
Cheers and glad you liked.
Clo xoxo
PS Oh there are much better meter freaks here than me...Earl and Wazz....my two fave rhymers - FAULTLESS...
Comment from Laurie Clayton
It wasn't until I read your Author notes that I realised I had mis read the first line...I did wonder who 'Bollocked' you (as in told you off)lol.
A strongly worded message to all who think they are above learning...Me, myself and I readily admit that our knowledge of Iambic meters is limited and I couldn't recognise one from t'other with any ease, but your author notes are clear on this and very helpful.
Thank you for sharing.
Laurie :@)
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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It wasn't until I read your Author notes that I realised I had mis read the first line...I did wonder who 'Bollocked' you (as in told you off)lol.
A strongly worded message to all who think they are above learning...Me, myself and I readily admit that our knowledge of Iambic meters is limited and I couldn't recognise one from t'other with any ease, but your author notes are clear on this and very helpful.
Thank you for sharing.
Laurie :@)
Comment Written 22-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Haha thankyou and NO noone blocked me...but I thought it was a great starter line...choice review. Thanks a bundle and glad you enjoyed my poem.
Closet
Comment from misscookie
I like the artwork that you post
and it tell it all
You are not pulling any punches and telling it like it is. I agree with some of the things you say.
I want to know the good with the bad this is why I joined the site to improve my craft.
thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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I like the artwork that you post
and it tell it all
You are not pulling any punches and telling it like it is. I agree with some of the things you say.
I want to know the good with the bad this is why I joined the site to improve my craft.
thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Hey misscookie, thanks so much for the thoughtful review.
Closet xo
Comment from Louise Michelle
Well, C.P., this is both an entertaining and informative write. You used great wit to get your point across and I'm sure this poem stemmed from a place of frustration in dealings with certain people. In plain English, it sounds like you worked you butt off trying to help someone with her piece and didn't only receive no gratitude, you got some flack for your efforts. My favorite line is "polished up your off beat turds." One thing I will say since I don't know the specifics is that sometimes folks will rework the writer's piece, thinking they're being helpful when really they didn't improve it at all (or made it worse). I'm not saying this has been your experience because, again, I've not been privy to the work you are addressing. But getting back to your situation, if someone is totally arrogant and unappreciative of your help, then just don't critique them again. No use getting grey hairs from FanStory. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Well, C.P., this is both an entertaining and informative write. You used great wit to get your point across and I'm sure this poem stemmed from a place of frustration in dealings with certain people. In plain English, it sounds like you worked you butt off trying to help someone with her piece and didn't only receive no gratitude, you got some flack for your efforts. My favorite line is "polished up your off beat turds." One thing I will say since I don't know the specifics is that sometimes folks will rework the writer's piece, thinking they're being helpful when really they didn't improve it at all (or made it worse). I'm not saying this has been your experience because, again, I've not been privy to the work you are addressing. But getting back to your situation, if someone is totally arrogant and unappreciative of your help, then just don't critique them again. No use getting grey hairs from FanStory. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 22-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Ahem...it may have been a "his" but of course this was not directed at anyone in particular. Just venting a common frustration plenty of good reviewers go through. Loved your review and yes everyone likes the "polished turds"...and to think, I NEARLY changed that.
I have no intention of being abused on a regular basis my friend but just have to state how I think about the rudeness of some people when you offer help. Grey hairs? God no...the KID is already giving me enough.
Cheers SQ
xoxo
Comment from ulster3
Closetpoetjester, hello.
This is bloody dang exceptional. I love iambic tetrameter. Your das and DUMS are perfect. Your sense of humor is spirited to say the least. Amen to this "devine comedy" about the fauxpas of some!!! Great lesson in all. Bombastic trillers. lol. Thanks for the post.
I'll be laughing in my dreams, and I'm pretty late getting there. 4am here. Oh I got all caught up tonight, and I'm happy for it.
Warmly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Closetpoetjester, hello.
This is bloody dang exceptional. I love iambic tetrameter. Your das and DUMS are perfect. Your sense of humor is spirited to say the least. Amen to this "devine comedy" about the fauxpas of some!!! Great lesson in all. Bombastic trillers. lol. Thanks for the post.
I'll be laughing in my dreams, and I'm pretty late getting there. 4am here. Oh I got all caught up tonight, and I'm happy for it.
Warmly, Rebecca
Comment Written 22-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Hey Rebecca, thanks so much my friend and I am glad you thought this one was a dang tooter...haha...not sure EVERYONE liked it but I sure didn't write it as a general crowd pleaser...the obvious ones would have hated me stating facts...the good poets and reviewers WOULD have appreciated me stating facts...loser? winner? Gotta speak my mind, its ALL I can do when faced with complete twats at times...such a sensitive lot we are.
Cheers and thanks a bunch
Phillippa xo
Comment from Warren Rodgers
CPJ,
Wow what a spectacular write! You are enjambin and slammin with this perfectly metered poem, and all your da Dums in place throughout this superb piece! Not a forced or useless rhyme in sight either LOL. I have no suggestions for improvement but I tried, I really did! Love the entire tell it like it is poem and agree with all you have said. You, my friend, I would have to agree are one of the top reviewers on site and I am so glad you routinely review my work. I continually try to seek out writers who will give me honest and helpful reviews and I don't understand why some don't like that. That's what this site should be all about! Back to your poem lol... many great lines to get your point across such as " my forthright, honest, metered words that polished up your off beat turds" LOLOL and
"yet loud you trill with foolish need
to ego stroke as you will feed
and languish in the shallow fluff
alas, that means you've had enough
of my critique in lengthy rows
so go pump hands where bullshit flows"
Classic CPJ Stuff which I love to read!
Fabulous really in every way and still I must award such excellence with an ordinary five due to site rules.
Cheers my friend!
Waaazzzaaa
xoxo
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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CPJ,
Wow what a spectacular write! You are enjambin and slammin with this perfectly metered poem, and all your da Dums in place throughout this superb piece! Not a forced or useless rhyme in sight either LOL. I have no suggestions for improvement but I tried, I really did! Love the entire tell it like it is poem and agree with all you have said. You, my friend, I would have to agree are one of the top reviewers on site and I am so glad you routinely review my work. I continually try to seek out writers who will give me honest and helpful reviews and I don't understand why some don't like that. That's what this site should be all about! Back to your poem lol... many great lines to get your point across such as " my forthright, honest, metered words that polished up your off beat turds" LOLOL and
"yet loud you trill with foolish need
to ego stroke as you will feed
and languish in the shallow fluff
alas, that means you've had enough
of my critique in lengthy rows
so go pump hands where bullshit flows"
Classic CPJ Stuff which I love to read!
Fabulous really in every way and still I must award such excellence with an ordinary five due to site rules.
Cheers my friend!
Waaazzzaaa
xoxo
Comment Written 22-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Hey Wazza, thanks buddy, glad you enjoyed this one...seems a lot of GOOD reviewers praised me here...you know I have to speak my big fat mouth on some things...just can't keep it shut...usually at risk to life and limb...kidding...well maybe the odd warning risk or two but what can you do? Life is about risks. Standing up for what you believe in...
Loved your review sweety and thanks sooooooooooo much.
Your fiver is as good as a sixer and I am so glad you liked this.
Cheers CPJ xoxo
Comment from Hitcher
My my, has someone p*ssed off the teacher who was just trying to help... Big mistake! I love the way you vent, firing on all cylinders, the polished poet, the p*ssed off perfectionist and the mistress of meter, mmmm! Oh to meet you in a dark ally, ha ha.
This was kick some serious-ass cool Closet, definitely worthy of more than the five stars I am forced to give you because you have already had your fill for this month, which is pretty good going.
You don't critique your partners da dums in the... :) Sorry, me bad, couldn't resist. LOVED IT!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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My my, has someone p*ssed off the teacher who was just trying to help... Big mistake! I love the way you vent, firing on all cylinders, the polished poet, the p*ssed off perfectionist and the mistress of meter, mmmm! Oh to meet you in a dark ally, ha ha.
This was kick some serious-ass cool Closet, definitely worthy of more than the five stars I am forced to give you because you have already had your fill for this month, which is pretty good going.
You don't critique your partners da dums in the... :) Sorry, me bad, couldn't resist. LOVED IT!
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Haha...yes. You bad. And anyways...isn't it YOU who likes "dark" alleys? (*smirk*)...thanks for a most accomodating review and yes...I have drained your six machine for 30 days...I'll expect a top up soon. Haha
Thanks and no critique in the bedroom...I am just thankfull to get him in there but I DO expect him to measure up...da DUMS indeed! LMAO...Your review made me smile Hitcher...thank you.
Teacher happy. BTW seriously-assed cool nicknames. The third one I liked very much. That would make a great poem title. Haha
Thanks again.
cheers p
xo
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Ha, ha, to boldly go where no man has been before[Star Trek], dark alleys, ha ha. I'm glad I made you smile, you me. Have an awesome weekend P :)
Comment from Glasstruth
Wow! I love your honesty. The rhyming flows as the topic wants to spill out into every reader. I've never been blocked, but I've had a few who've stopped reviewing me. You're right when you wrote it's the ego. The most important is the critiquing, which I think many are afraid of. Poets seems awfully sensitive. I praise you for speaking out. Les
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Wow! I love your honesty. The rhyming flows as the topic wants to spill out into every reader. I've never been blocked, but I've had a few who've stopped reviewing me. You're right when you wrote it's the ego. The most important is the critiquing, which I think many are afraid of. Poets seems awfully sensitive. I praise you for speaking out. Les
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Wow thanks so much and I was only blocked once and she relinquished the muting only a week or so back and I think perhaps because you can only mute 3 people and she wanted to mute someone else that P*ssed her off...haha
Yes we are a sensitive lot my friend...all the more reason for reviewers to exercise tact and authors be open to improvement from ALL genuine suggestions. I praise your review.
Many thanks for the sixer and beaut review.
Closet xo
Comment from ameen786
Loud and clear! Philippa my friend, I appreciate these wonderful reflections/lessons for all to keep an open mind and try to learn from constructive reviews/suggestions, number of stars should not be a concern for a serious writer, rather the critique that enhances his/her writing skills. I love your das and Dums.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Loud and clear! Philippa my friend, I appreciate these wonderful reflections/lessons for all to keep an open mind and try to learn from constructive reviews/suggestions, number of stars should not be a concern for a serious writer, rather the critique that enhances his/her writing skills. I love your das and Dums.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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What a perfect review and yes I agree. I hope more people concentrate on making their poetry better before they promote so wildly...otherwise be prepared to take constructive critique as MORE is expected of you when you tout a ranking in the top 10.
Cheers and I have a feeling your das and DUMS are bang on the money.
Closet xoxo
Comment from Trybuck
I'll accept your reviews anytime
especially when meter's on the line
which is the main reason I pay
as much as I do for reviews
sometimes, I have no clue
and others, I don't care
but when I say in my notes a specific meter, I'm asking for help.
Well old sport, it's a fine piece of writing we've got here old sport. Perfect meter, great enjambment, wonderful metaphors, and very strong rhyming.
Very well done, Buck
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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I'll accept your reviews anytime
especially when meter's on the line
which is the main reason I pay
as much as I do for reviews
sometimes, I have no clue
and others, I don't care
but when I say in my notes a specific meter, I'm asking for help.
Well old sport, it's a fine piece of writing we've got here old sport. Perfect meter, great enjambment, wonderful metaphors, and very strong rhyming.
Very well done, Buck
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012
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Haha great review Buck - thanks for the sixer and more wonderful impromptu. I can overlook meter when the flow is there to my ear but some misguided souls ARE under the impression that syllable count equates to flow...
Glad you liked my enjamb and iamb session so very much and again thanks for the great review and sixer.
Have a great day.
Cheers closet xo
