The One Way Journey
A glimpse into the mindset of a man of purpose.94 total reviews
Comment from Starlit Ink
This is very thought-provoking making one wonder what he will do today. From the stance in the picture the man looks to be in deep thought, planning his tomorrows. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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This is very thought-provoking making one wonder what he will do today. From the stance in the picture the man looks to be in deep thought, planning his tomorrows. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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My many thanks for the great review and wishes.
I am glad it makes sense to you.
Regards
Comment from katmckeown
Your words and message are clear and provoke a sense of hope. Your structure follows the 5/7/5 format. I liked the yesterday and tomorrow feel.Good Luck
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Your words and message are clear and provoke a sense of hope. Your structure follows the 5/7/5 format. I liked the yesterday and tomorrow feel.Good Luck
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much! For the great review.
I am glad the poem makes sense to you.
Cheers!
Comment from artemis53
Very well done in so few words. A basic truth of time tied together for a purpose. We do all need encouragement to show our gifts.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Very well done in so few words. A basic truth of time tied together for a purpose. We do all need encouragement to show our gifts.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much!
For the great review and for the comment. All noted.
Regards
Comment from guinea
The only one that can fuel or charge us up is the Lord above. He gives me strength for each day to do what he has sent me to do. Great poem.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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The only one that can fuel or charge us up is the Lord above. He gives me strength for each day to do what he has sent me to do. Great poem.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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You are sooo.. on the same page with me!
Thank you for the kind review.
May God help us do better tomorrow than today.
Best regards!
Comment from keimosobie
thats a beautiful sentiment. says so many things. very good. makes me wonder if I am being driven on yesterday. Thanks for sharing and good luck.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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thats a beautiful sentiment. says so many things. very good. makes me wonder if I am being driven on yesterday. Thanks for sharing and good luck.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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Thank you greatly for the great review and thank you for 'wondering'.. Lol.
Guess, its part of the intent of the poem- to get you wondering like i did..
Cheers!
Comment from Cobalt Blue
An inspirational 5-7-5 with a strong message and truth that gives the reader pause to think. The hard part of writing short poems is the ability to get across a message with very few words. You have accomplshed the task very well here with this poem. Good job!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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An inspirational 5-7-5 with a strong message and truth that gives the reader pause to think. The hard part of writing short poems is the ability to get across a message with very few words. You have accomplshed the task very well here with this poem. Good job!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much for the comment and great review.
I am glad something originally from me can motivate such comments as yours.
Best regards!
Comment from squid152
You nailed the haiku! 5-7-5. Really like this haiku. The fueling yesterday is so important. We fuel with diet and education. Can't wait to see your next post-Squid
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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You nailed the haiku! 5-7-5. Really like this haiku. The fueling yesterday is so important. We fuel with diet and education. Can't wait to see your next post-Squid
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the great review and kind comments.. I sure will try to bring the next post to your notice!
Best Regards
Comment from Joan E.
Welcome to FanStory--I hope the site fulfills your goals for membership. I admired your point of view in this succinct poem, along with your uplifting mood. I liked the way you segmented time. Best wishes in the contest. -Joan
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2012
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Welcome to FanStory--I hope the site fulfills your goals for membership. I admired your point of view in this succinct poem, along with your uplifting mood. I liked the way you segmented time. Best wishes in the contest. -Joan
Comment Written 26-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much Joan.
I get all kinds of comments on my poem but yours added time value to it and now, i am beginning to admire how come i did put this together...lol
Really, i appreciate ur comments, wishes and ranking.
Best Regards
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Thanks for your gracious response. -Joan
Comment from Gladness
Nice Haiku poem. Gets right to the point. So true and in many ways. Maybe try a picture next time:) It might add a little something to it. This poem give one some fuel for tomorrow ;) Thanks!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2012
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Nice Haiku poem. Gets right to the point. So true and in many ways. Maybe try a picture next time:) It might add a little something to it. This poem give one some fuel for tomorrow ;) Thanks!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2012
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Lol... Thank you so much..
A Picture will be added (as u suggested) as soon as i get a best fit.
Thanks again.
Regards
Comment from Bloomer Burbs
Hi DaGirl
With respect your senryu, for me at least, is not a proper senryu. Firstly, you have used punctuation, the ? is not necessary: punctuation is never used in. Plus it lacks a sotori line, generally the 3rd line but can be the first as well, which is the essence of this style of poety.
I know your other reviews have given you 5 stars but on this site, reviewers are often more interested in just getting member cents so they can promote their own work - if you don't give 5 stars you are meant to say why - this takes time of course!!
Anyway, please take the advice or ditch it, tis up to you, I mean no offence.
Kind regards, Pete
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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2012
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Hi DaGirl
With respect your senryu, for me at least, is not a proper senryu. Firstly, you have used punctuation, the ? is not necessary: punctuation is never used in. Plus it lacks a sotori line, generally the 3rd line but can be the first as well, which is the essence of this style of poety.
I know your other reviews have given you 5 stars but on this site, reviewers are often more interested in just getting member cents so they can promote their own work - if you don't give 5 stars you are meant to say why - this takes time of course!!
Anyway, please take the advice or ditch it, tis up to you, I mean no offence.
Kind regards, Pete
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2012
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Hi Pete & thanks for the honest review.
I am one myself and it has gotten me a vote today even though i thought i would get an angry response, so i have no bad feelings, as a matter of fact i am excited to hear you say this and still give me a '4' and not '3' or worse.. That tells me 'there's hope for my poem'...lol
Anyway, to put in a little explanation as to why i wrote as i did.. I have copied the info on d 5-7-5 poem contest for your personal reading which goes thus
''A 5-7-5 follows the structure of a Haiku but without any limitation to the topic. While a Senryu, is primarily concerned with human nature. A Haiku, primarily concerned with physical nature. A 5-7-5 poem is a free form with the only limitation being the syllable count.''
With this, i went ahead and wrote as a 'haiku' not a 'senryu' which didn't specify that i follow any other rules than the 5-7-5 syllable count,hence, my poem.
I will consider the punctuations you mentioned even though the example given by the site also used one (!).
Thank you -really and i would be grateful if i could get a response to this, to see if you are still insisting.. So, i can look deeper into it and in fairness to those who gave me '5'.. I can't imagine it is because of the member cents because (1) they gave their reasons for awarding me so and (2) the member cents would have been collected anyway no mata what they write just like you have gotten yours despite the ranking you gave.
Hoping & waiting.
Cheers!
