The One Way Journey
A glimpse into the mindset of a man of purpose.94 total reviews
Comment from Ted S.
Inspiring poem and I hope you did well in the poetry contest. The image of the man was meaningful to me as I like to hike in the outdoors. Well Done
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
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Inspiring poem and I hope you did well in the poetry contest. The image of the man was meaningful to me as I like to hike in the outdoors. Well Done
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
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Thanks so much for the review and goodwill.
I am glad it makes sense to you.
Regards
Comment from micci
Well written poem, very encouraging I should read it every time I do not want to get up and go to the gym, well written, I enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
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Well written poem, very encouraging I should read it every time I do not want to get up and go to the gym, well written, I enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
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Thanks so much for the review and goodwill.
I am glad it makes sense to you.
Regards
Comment from geetika sethi
GREAT CONTEST ENTRY GIRL...
LOVE THE WINGS IN IT
THAT WHAT WAS THER YESTERDAY
ISNT THERE TODAY..
YOU CAN FLAP YOUR WINGS AND FLY TO A NEW TOMORROW.
ALL THE BEST.
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
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GREAT CONTEST ENTRY GIRL...
LOVE THE WINGS IN IT
THAT WHAT WAS THER YESTERDAY
ISNT THERE TODAY..
YOU CAN FLAP YOUR WINGS AND FLY TO A NEW TOMORROW.
ALL THE BEST.
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
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Thanks so much for the review and goodwill.
I am glad it makes sense to you.
Regards
Comment from thmedina
Nice little five-seven-five, very inspirational theme and context you have. Sounds good. I enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
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Nice little five-seven-five, very inspirational theme and context you have. Sounds good. I enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
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Thanks so much for the review and goodwill.
I am glad it makes sense to you.
Regards
Comment from cvcopac
Hi, DaGirl.
Nice picture and some very good notes but if you have written to communicate your thought/thoughts adequately, totally unnecessary. Especially true where notes are concerned.
That said, yes, the syllable count says 5/7/5 but the syntax leaves me a bit baffled though I think I see your effort. These brief poems need good concrete imagery; at least two contrasting images and a satori will paint the picture. In these practice Haiku poems the contest do not require absence of caps, punctuation, or a kigo but all the rest of the requirements should be kept in mind as you attempt to construct your poem.
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
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Hi, DaGirl.
Nice picture and some very good notes but if you have written to communicate your thought/thoughts adequately, totally unnecessary. Especially true where notes are concerned.
That said, yes, the syllable count says 5/7/5 but the syntax leaves me a bit baffled though I think I see your effort. These brief poems need good concrete imagery; at least two contrasting images and a satori will paint the picture. In these practice Haiku poems the contest do not require absence of caps, punctuation, or a kigo but all the rest of the requirements should be kept in mind as you attempt to construct your poem.
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
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Thanks a lot for your review.
Are you saying i should take off the punctuations based on the requirements here?
Would love to know 'quickly' if possible since today is my deadline.
Thanks again.
I value your time spent.
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No, you know what the contest requirements are and should simply abide by them. What I'm saying in the review is this: If you have to have a picture to illustrate or verbally explain what you're poem is saying--the poem has already failed. So, what you need to concentrate on when writing these small concentrated poems is packing them with imagery and cohesion. The best way to do that is to understand what makes these poems work and why. When you leave pictures and explanations the reviewers are reviewing pictures and explanations. You have told them what they should be able to see simply by reading your poem.
Am I making any sense?
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Great job on this entry. You've followed the guidelines well and I love the message! (love the authors notes as well) Very well written. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Great job on this entry. You've followed the guidelines well and I love the message! (love the authors notes as well) Very well written. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Thank you! - for the review, rating, wishes and your time.
I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards.
Comment from RalphNater
Great poem and an awesome message. Indeed we should learn from yesterday but drive today so that tomorrow will be fortuitous. Excellent 5-7-5 here, glad I read it.
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Great poem and an awesome message. Indeed we should learn from yesterday but drive today so that tomorrow will be fortuitous. Excellent 5-7-5 here, glad I read it.
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
-
Thank you! - for the review, rating and your time.
I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards.
Comment from Taurean Monkey
Hi DaGirl, your haiku is a nice poem. I actually liked reading your author notes more, sounds awful, but that gave me a better understanding of your philosophy and in doing so, your poem. You're absolutely right, we can't go backwards, not if we want to move forwards. Good luck with your contest entry. Kind regards TMonkey
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Hi DaGirl, your haiku is a nice poem. I actually liked reading your author notes more, sounds awful, but that gave me a better understanding of your philosophy and in doing so, your poem. You're absolutely right, we can't go backwards, not if we want to move forwards. Good luck with your contest entry. Kind regards TMonkey
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
-
Thank you! - for the review, rating, wishes and your time.
I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards.
Comment from RaymondJohn
It's too bad we can't regain some of yesteryear's fuel, the way we need it today. I like your graphic and your message. Your 5-7-5 poem has the right number of syllables, has good movement in the words, it tells a story, and has an appropriate ending. Well done and good luck in the contest. Ray
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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It's too bad we can't regain some of yesteryear's fuel, the way we need it today. I like your graphic and your message. Your 5-7-5 poem has the right number of syllables, has good movement in the words, it tells a story, and has an appropriate ending. Well done and good luck in the contest. Ray
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
-
Thank you! - for the review, rating, wishes and your time.
I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards.
Comment from Titanx9
Nicely done! This is an excellent 5-7-5 poem that speaks to making the best of time and effort while one's still able so there'll be fuel or sustenance for all the tomorrows. This one reminds me of the parables in Matthew 25. It really is sage advice. The artwork works well to frame this piece.
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Nicely done! This is an excellent 5-7-5 poem that speaks to making the best of time and effort while one's still able so there'll be fuel or sustenance for all the tomorrows. This one reminds me of the parables in Matthew 25. It really is sage advice. The artwork works well to frame this piece.
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
-
Thank you! - for the review, rating and your time.
I am truly glad that it makes sense to you.
My Regards.
