Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "A Graveyard Moon"Murder Mystery
57 total reviews
Comment from Doc Holiday
Wow! Great read! I know there's a lot that you are setting us readers up for here... The big question is still, Why did the killer call the priest? Because the priest is somehow involved and knows the killer. The priest can lead the police off in another direction. The host is just a reminder from the killer to the priest to be extremely cautious in what information will be surrendered. This, of course, is all spectulation, but as you can see you really have my logic and curiosity playing with each other here. But isn't that what a good writer is supposed to do? Great job so far. Also liked the description of the cops involved. It brought the tension forward until the sheriff and the priest had their standoff.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2012
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Wow! Great read! I know there's a lot that you are setting us readers up for here... The big question is still, Why did the killer call the priest? Because the priest is somehow involved and knows the killer. The priest can lead the police off in another direction. The host is just a reminder from the killer to the priest to be extremely cautious in what information will be surrendered. This, of course, is all spectulation, but as you can see you really have my logic and curiosity playing with each other here. But isn't that what a good writer is supposed to do? Great job so far. Also liked the description of the cops involved. It brought the tension forward until the sheriff and the priest had their standoff.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much, Doc. What a great review. I so appreciate that you share your thoughts about the chapter - that's always so helpful to me. I think the reason for all of your questions will make sense in the long run - that's all I'm sayin'. Much appreciate the support and generosity. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from TSPoet
Hi
Overall this is a very good story.
I was a bit confused on the charactors the
Sherif and the Priest but, it all did work out
.
:o)
.
Thank you so much for sharing
-and thank you for your reviews..:o)
TSPoet
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2012
 |
Hi
Overall this is a very good story.
I was a bit confused on the charactors the
Sherif and the Priest but, it all did work out
.
:o)
.
Thank you so much for sharing
-and thank you for your reviews..:o)
TSPoet
Comment Written 19-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2012
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Hi, TS. I imagine that this chapter would be a little confusing as I've introduced the characters in the previous two chapters. Thanks for taking time to read and send along your gracious review. Much appreciated! Bev
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Bev...You are most wellcome my friend
Comment from hyway94
I think you are doing a great job with this story, I'm really sorry that I didn't get to it at a sooner time. I could not find any mistakes and the flow is great.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2012
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I think you are doing a great job with this story, I'm really sorry that I didn't get to it at a sooner time. I could not find any mistakes and the flow is great.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2012
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Thank you for taking time to read my chapter, hyway94. I really appreciate the support and your excellent review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Why would a killer call a priest before leaving the scene of a crime? <<< has me wondering, too
He had been present at thousands of death-bed rituals in his years as a priest. Most of them held sorrow, some of them joy. Studying Debra's corpse, shock moved quickly to heated outrage at what had been done to a good woman. He flicked a tear from his cheek. "What kind of mind thinks of such an abhorrence, Derek?" he asked, aware of the lawman's close scrutiny. <<< an excellent paragraph that tells us a lot without spelling it out.
I am wondering if the priest IS the killer. But you won't tell me if my guess is right or wrong... will you?
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2012
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Why would a killer call a priest before leaving the scene of a crime? <<< has me wondering, too
He had been present at thousands of death-bed rituals in his years as a priest. Most of them held sorrow, some of them joy. Studying Debra's corpse, shock moved quickly to heated outrage at what had been done to a good woman. He flicked a tear from his cheek. "What kind of mind thinks of such an abhorrence, Derek?" he asked, aware of the lawman's close scrutiny. <<< an excellent paragraph that tells us a lot without spelling it out.
I am wondering if the priest IS the killer. But you won't tell me if my guess is right or wrong... will you?
Comment Written 19-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2012
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Nope, ain't tellin' LOL. Thank you for your wonderful review, Phyllis. It's always so helpful when a reviewer lets me know what they like in the chapter, so I thank you for that. And I appreciate the generous review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from mreith80
What a wonderful story, I truly believe that this is such a great concept and so unique. Congratulations on your work I am sure you will be very successful in the future of your work :)
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2012
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What a wonderful story, I truly believe that this is such a great concept and so unique. Congratulations on your work I am sure you will be very successful in the future of your work :)
Comment Written 19-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2012
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Thank you for your very kind and supportive review. I appreciate the generosity! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from juliaSjames
This is an intriguing mystery, Bev. I have to read myself in, but even as a stand-alone, this chapter is gripping.
The characters are multi-dimensional and you depict the murder scene very effectively by providing little details -
the sound of the tv in the background, the bizarre appearance of the body, the worn berber carpet.
Good information about Roman Catholic rituals and Sious beliefs. I wonder how these two elements will play off against each other as the mystery unfolds?
Didn't notice any spag.
Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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This is an intriguing mystery, Bev. I have to read myself in, but even as a stand-alone, this chapter is gripping.
The characters are multi-dimensional and you depict the murder scene very effectively by providing little details -
the sound of the tv in the background, the bizarre appearance of the body, the worn berber carpet.
Good information about Roman Catholic rituals and Sious beliefs. I wonder how these two elements will play off against each other as the mystery unfolds?
Didn't notice any spag.
Well done.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Hi, jj. Thank you for taking time to read this chapter. I really appreciate your sharing what you found worked for you, that's always so helpful. I much appreciate your review and words of support. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Showboat
Oh, my, a resounding six if ever there was one.
Tight, tense moved fast enough to keep the reader out of breath but still gave us time to absorb.
Totally wonderful and kudos.
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Oh, my, a resounding six if ever there was one.
Tight, tense moved fast enough to keep the reader out of breath but still gave us time to absorb.
Totally wonderful and kudos.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much, Gayle. This wonderful review and your extreme generosity really warms my heart. I so appreciate the support, my friend. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from ulster3
hello, writingfundimension.
I'm glad I did catch this early on. it is enthralling and I look forward to more. The end of this chapter would make one go silent around the police. lol. Thanks for a good read.
Warmly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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hello, writingfundimension.
I'm glad I did catch this early on. it is enthralling and I look forward to more. The end of this chapter would make one go silent around the police. lol. Thanks for a good read.
Warmly, Rebecca
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Hi, Rebecca. I'm so glad you stopped in to read my chapter. Your review really warms my heart. Thanks so much! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from elgone
A well written and well told story. The narrative and dialogue are presented in a compelling way that draws the reader into the tale. The characters seem life-like and their interactions are believable.
E
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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A well written and well told story. The narrative and dialogue are presented in a compelling way that draws the reader into the tale. The characters seem life-like and their interactions are believable.
E
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thank you so very much, E. I really appreciate your generosity and support. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Oh, Bev. This is so good. You know I love your writing, but I think this is one of the best of yours I've read so far. The characters are excellent - very strong already, well defined, likeable, real.
"Jana, I want the area around the Padget home sealed tighter than a duck's ass. No one, and I mean no one, is to be given access to the body other than emergency personnel. Have they arrived yet?" - Great dialogue!
Derek kept hold of the arm, ever-so-slightly increasing the pressure."I said are we clear, Officer Newstead?" - I like Derek. :o)
"Be prepared, Father, the room holds the residue of si-la-wa-ci-T." - Mmm, love these little native influences.
The lawman's attitude flipped suddenly from curious to cold-as-steel. "Any good priest, Father Brian, or just you?"
See? How creepy is that. What a great hook.
So impressed how you are setting this up. Great work, my friend.
Love Av
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Oh, Bev. This is so good. You know I love your writing, but I think this is one of the best of yours I've read so far. The characters are excellent - very strong already, well defined, likeable, real.
"Jana, I want the area around the Padget home sealed tighter than a duck's ass. No one, and I mean no one, is to be given access to the body other than emergency personnel. Have they arrived yet?" - Great dialogue!
Derek kept hold of the arm, ever-so-slightly increasing the pressure."I said are we clear, Officer Newstead?" - I like Derek. :o)
"Be prepared, Father, the room holds the residue of si-la-wa-ci-T." - Mmm, love these little native influences.
The lawman's attitude flipped suddenly from curious to cold-as-steel. "Any good priest, Father Brian, or just you?"
See? How creepy is that. What a great hook.
So impressed how you are setting this up. Great work, my friend.
Love Av
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much, Av. I'm so honored by your words, here. Your words of support and very generous review mean a great deal to me. And I so appreciate the time you take in your reviews to let me know what works for you. That's always such a great help. I love Jana Burke. I'm thinking she will end playing a bigger part than I had originally intended, maybe a mystery of her own. Bless you, my friend. Bev
