Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "A Blood-Red Moon "Murder Mystery
56 total reviews
Comment from ebeta
A bit short, but well written.
There are a few things I puzzled over, but...
Given the length of the writing, I can imagine those will work themselves out in later chapters
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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A bit short, but well written.
There are a few things I puzzled over, but...
Given the length of the writing, I can imagine those will work themselves out in later chapters
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Hi, ebeta. Yes, with only two chapters under my belt and, likely, twenty or so to go, there will be answers to some of the things hinted at. Of course, I've put a few red herrings in there as well. Thanks much for reading and reviewing. Bev
Comment from mumsyone
Great writing, Bev! I don't normally review mystery and crime, but thought I'd check in again, just to see what you're up to! My only question in your story is the use of "Oh God,..." by a priest?
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Great writing, Bev! I don't normally review mystery and crime, but thought I'd check in again, just to see what you're up to! My only question in your story is the use of "Oh God,..." by a priest?
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thank you, Lois. I really appreciate you taking the time to check out this write. So kind of you. I'm going to change to Lord, and I think that will probably be less offensive. Much appreciated. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Bellringer
Bev, another excellent chapter in this murder mystery that held my attention. The placement of Donna's background information and unexpected murder immediately after the killer's phone call (which ended the first chapter) was perfect. The villain is both mysterious and highly unlikable--which is a good thing. I look forward to reading more. Blessings, Hector
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Bev, another excellent chapter in this murder mystery that held my attention. The placement of Donna's background information and unexpected murder immediately after the killer's phone call (which ended the first chapter) was perfect. The villain is both mysterious and highly unlikable--which is a good thing. I look forward to reading more. Blessings, Hector
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thank you bunches, Hector. I really appreciate your generous review. And thanks for letting me know what you liked. Blessings, Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Sorry for the late reply. I've been busy with volunteer activities. Blessings, Hector
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Not to worry. How nice of you to take time to reply given how busy you are. Have a good weekend, Bev
Comment from Doc Holiday
I just started reading your book with chapter 2 and then went back to chapter 1 and now have read chapter 2 again. Sorry about all that. I just wanted to be sure I got it all and was caught up before I reviewed your work. You detail to the character development is very good. I like how you include their personal compulsive behaviors in with the dialogue. You set up for each chapter 2 was excellent; as was the conclusion of chapter 2. You have me on edge with what the priest really knows and is not telling. You also having me wondering about his connection with the sheriff as a poker player. How much of a bluff is he? And then I'm wondering about the niece and the fears that she has pretold her aunt and who knows who else, perhaps for a cover-up of sorts. Hmmm.... good murder mystery. It has all the write stuff!
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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I just started reading your book with chapter 2 and then went back to chapter 1 and now have read chapter 2 again. Sorry about all that. I just wanted to be sure I got it all and was caught up before I reviewed your work. You detail to the character development is very good. I like how you include their personal compulsive behaviors in with the dialogue. You set up for each chapter 2 was excellent; as was the conclusion of chapter 2. You have me on edge with what the priest really knows and is not telling. You also having me wondering about his connection with the sheriff as a poker player. How much of a bluff is he? And then I'm wondering about the niece and the fears that she has pretold her aunt and who knows who else, perhaps for a cover-up of sorts. Hmmm.... good murder mystery. It has all the write stuff!
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for this excellent and thorough review, Doc Holiday. You've really taken a great deal of time to both read and offer important insights. Gosh, what a great reviewer you are! And I really appreciate that you enjoyed the first two chapters. This is a superbly uplifting endorsement, and you're right on top of a couple of the threads in the story. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Paradox Tremors
Another good chapter my friend. Well done; although I fear Father Brian could be getting himself into a whole bunch of trouble. Keep it up and I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Another good chapter my friend. Well done; although I fear Father Brian could be getting himself into a whole bunch of trouble. Keep it up and I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thank you, PT. I really appreciate your continued interest in my story and your support. Thanks for caring! Bev
Comment from Rattler
Okay, you trapped me. Great read. Nice twist with the priest.
Dialog flow was excellent. Just that short time I already was caring for the older lady. You built feelings for the character faster than I have seen any one else do.
Great read. Looking forward to more.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Okay, you trapped me. Great read. Nice twist with the priest.
Dialog flow was excellent. Just that short time I already was caring for the older lady. You built feelings for the character faster than I have seen any one else do.
Great read. Looking forward to more.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much, Rattler. You've gotten to the heart of my intention in this chapter! I really appreciate that and your generous review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Geronymous
Yup I enjoyed it. The omnipresent author jumping from character to character. With lots of suspense in it. We don't know why the killer wanted to murder his helpless victim but this will come. One thing though - this is not really new or original. This same incident and events had been written in many guises and different forms. The downside to fanstory is that one. Tends to write to this audience and hence one needs to entertain which makes it difficult to get the balance between events and pauses right. Eg I could say the tempo of ur story is too hurried! U could spend more time, (ie) words, with one character as opposed to hopping so quickly! But this could just be a limitation of fanstory. From phone
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Yup I enjoyed it. The omnipresent author jumping from character to character. With lots of suspense in it. We don't know why the killer wanted to murder his helpless victim but this will come. One thing though - this is not really new or original. This same incident and events had been written in many guises and different forms. The downside to fanstory is that one. Tends to write to this audience and hence one needs to entertain which makes it difficult to get the balance between events and pauses right. Eg I could say the tempo of ur story is too hurried! U could spend more time, (ie) words, with one character as opposed to hopping so quickly! But this could just be a limitation of fanstory. From phone
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from bhogg
Hi Bev - you certainly got me engaged in your story. Looks like you have an intense story line going here. I'll definitely stay tuned. I really liked the good Father's advice. Bill
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Hi Bev - you certainly got me engaged in your story. Looks like you have an intense story line going here. I'll definitely stay tuned. I really liked the good Father's advice. Bill
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much, Bill. I appreciate the generous review and, even more, the words of support. Kind regards, Bev
Comment from RazberryBullet
What a weird twist! I had no clue the priest would have
a major part in her death. Guess I'll have to read chapter 1 ;0.
Well done!
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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What a weird twist! I had no clue the priest would have
a major part in her death. Guess I'll have to read chapter 1 ;0.
Well done!
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Hi, Razz. The killer only thinks he and Father Brian are sympatico. Thanks for a great review, my friend. I appreciate the time you took to read and send along your generous review. Bev
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Wow, you have left intrigue. I can't wait for what comes next. You are doing a great job and I can't find anything two critize. Good job.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Wow, you have left intrigue. I can't wait for what comes next. You are doing a great job and I can't find anything two critize. Good job.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Thanks a bunch, barbara. I'm smiling at your kind words of support! Bev
