When Hell Quaked
Contest Entry21 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
I loved the darkness of your offering friend, my kind of poetry and you have done it in a sonnet, I'm very impressed indeed. I love your choice of artwork[perfect].
My only suggestion would be to change the background color to black and the writing to white, it will JUMP out at the reader and have them hooked before they read a single word. LOVED IT!! Good luck Dawn Of Tomorrow :)
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2012
I loved the darkness of your offering friend, my kind of poetry and you have done it in a sonnet, I'm very impressed indeed. I love your choice of artwork[perfect].
My only suggestion would be to change the background color to black and the writing to white, it will JUMP out at the reader and have them hooked before they read a single word. LOVED IT!! Good luck Dawn Of Tomorrow :)
Comment Written 09-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much for the enthusiastic review, very much appreciated.
Comment from Bobbi22
This is a very well written sonnet, all in perfect form. Your last two lines are very powerful. The devil may have a hold onus at times, but that grip as foretold will be broken.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
This is a very well written sonnet, all in perfect form. Your last two lines are very powerful. The devil may have a hold onus at times, but that grip as foretold will be broken.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, much appreciated
Comment from Anisa-
Wow. Strong poem. Well done. It has an interesting story within, it's easy to follow and it flows well. It was an enjoyable read.
Thanks for sharing.
Anisa
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
Wow. Strong poem. Well done. It has an interesting story within, it's easy to follow and it flows well. It was an enjoyable read.
Thanks for sharing.
Anisa
Comment Written 09-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, much appreciated
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a really good sonnet--in form (rhyme and meter) and in theme. Thas's right. Satan has only the power God
allows--and only for as long as God chooses.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
This is a really good sonnet--in form (rhyme and meter) and in theme. Thas's right. Satan has only the power God
allows--and only for as long as God chooses.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, much appreciated
Comment from LovnPeace
This world is swayed into your heinous hold
but soon I'll break that grip as is foretold
Beautifully worded dear friend. I pray it is soon. Blessings Jolynn. Barbara
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
This world is swayed into your heinous hold
but soon I'll break that grip as is foretold
Beautifully worded dear friend. I pray it is soon. Blessings Jolynn. Barbara
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much, my friend, very much appreciated. Hugs.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, dawn of tomorrow, you did a great job wriitng this sonnet about the way Jesus overcame the grip that Satan holds on this world. i enjoyed reading it and wish you the best of luck in the contest
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
this is very well written, dawn of tomorrow, you did a great job wriitng this sonnet about the way Jesus overcame the grip that Satan holds on this world. i enjoyed reading it and wish you the best of luck in the contest
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review, very much appreciated.
Comment from WLHall
A great iambic pentameter. The words are so powerful as is the message. Wonderful flow. I love the last two lines especially. Yes, the devil will be the loser in this spiritual war, but so many casualties taken with him. Great work! Best Wishes,
Wanda
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
A great iambic pentameter. The words are so powerful as is the message. Wonderful flow. I love the last two lines especially. Yes, the devil will be the loser in this spiritual war, but so many casualties taken with him. Great work! Best Wishes,
Wanda
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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yes too many casualties, thanks so much for taking the time to read and review
Comment from samandlancelot
Dawn,
Excellent sonnet.
You capture so well the essence of the trap so many find themselves in, unaware of the one who contains them. I was one of them for decades until God set me free to serve Him.
but soon I'll break that grip as is foretold!" I do hope and pray it will be soon.
Patricia
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
Dawn,
Excellent sonnet.
You capture so well the essence of the trap so many find themselves in, unaware of the one who contains them. I was one of them for decades until God set me free to serve Him.
but soon I'll break that grip as is foretold!" I do hope and pray it will be soon.
Patricia
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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I hope and pray that as well, thanks for taking the time to read and review.
Comment from Chris Tee
This is an absolutely wonderful sonnet that you have composed here for us old sport. Well done with this splendid work and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
This is an absolutely wonderful sonnet that you have composed here for us old sport. Well done with this splendid work and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review.
Comment from racingponies
Powerful imagery in the beginning of the poem. Nice photo and layout to go with. Good use of your range of vocabulary as well.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
Powerful imagery in the beginning of the poem. Nice photo and layout to go with. Good use of your range of vocabulary as well.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, do you have some suggestions for improvement? When handing out fours you should always give thoughts on how to improve the poem.
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Hi. I am happy to respond. I'm just getting back into this and poetry is not my strong suit. Also, I was a little gun shy about constructive criticism. LOL
So, I though the first two stanzas were strong and bold. I was a little confused when you said, "He challenges this one..." I wasn't sure if you meant the writer of the poem was the savior? Maybe "the" instead of "this?" It depends on what you mean. I found the third stanza clunky. I think because most of the "sentences" were broken up to make them rhyme and it felt awkward.
I felt that last two lines were anti-climactic and too "tied up." Also, I felt that the last line was written in a more modern style than the previous verbage.
I probably shouldn't review poetry because all the things I've brought up are probably moot. LOL But, I know with my writings, I prefer real criticism so I can pick and choose was sticks.
Good luck in the contest!