Senryu Provocations
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "shoppers shun bedsheets"Reflection on human behavior
18 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
I like your play on words and how narrow minded we can be. You say much in this short poem that is reflective of the world today.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
  |
I like your play on words and how narrow minded we can be. You say much in this short poem that is reflective of the world today.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
-
Glad you got the play on words. Some reviewers didn't. They asked what was wrong with muslin sheets.
Comment from Eleanor Buron
;) Okay, I can understand that an 'm' has just one more squiggle to it and so the words are very close and can stop one in the marketplace. Unusual but interesting theme. And it brought a smile.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
|
;) Okay, I can understand that an 'm' has just one more squiggle to it and so the words are very close and can stop one in the marketplace. Unusual but interesting theme. And it brought a smile.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
-
Glad you got it, Elly. Some didn't. I hate to add notes.
-
I hate to add notes, too. Elly
Comment from God's Writer
I suppose it itches. I can't sat I would wear it anyway. Would you. I have Muslim friends and the thought of wearing their body hair doesn't do anything for me. I can think of a few female Muslim around here I would like to wear somewhere else. Great poem and thank you for letting me read it.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
|
I suppose it itches. I can't sat I would wear it anyway. Would you. I have Muslim friends and the thought of wearing their body hair doesn't do anything for me. I can think of a few female Muslim around here I would like to wear somewhere else. Great poem and thank you for letting me read it.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
-
Aren't you the naughty boy. Thanks for reading. Have a good time tomorrow at the birthday party. Just don't pass yourself around as the favor.
-
I ain't going to climb out of any cake. Half the people are from the church. You know how they can be.
-
Two of them work at the gas station and give me the favors. Man does it feel good. They have magical tongues. Not near as good as you though.
-
Good! Keep you honest.
-
I am my queen.
-
TMI
-
Sorry, my queen.
-
Well my love. I think I have all your poems reviewed. I am going to go to bed and try to get some sleep. Talk to you later in bed my dear. I will keep your side warm.
Comment from Louise Michelle
I guess you're making a commentary on how society is Muslim paranoid. I figured this when I read the word muslin, but was glad to be able to refer to someone's question and your answer. Which leads me to ask the question, "Are you smoking those exotic cigarettes?" (just kidding)The reader can't always understand what's on your mind. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
|
I guess you're making a commentary on how society is Muslim paranoid. I figured this when I read the word muslin, but was glad to be able to refer to someone's question and your answer. Which leads me to ask the question, "Are you smoking those exotic cigarettes?" (just kidding)The reader can't always understand what's on your mind. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 23-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
-
Haikus and senyus require the reader to take a giant leap between the second and third line. I usually have to read two or three times to get the drift, but I think that's the idea-- to fill in the spaces. The unsaid words. Good brain work-out.
Comment from krazykats2011
I give the fiver only because I know that as far as form, your senyru is dead-on, of course. I wouldn't expect any less from you; however, if I were to rate for understanding (mine), this piece would have only gotten three stars. Can you explain to me what it is you are trying to tell me with this one? I feel lost.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
|
I give the fiver only because I know that as far as form, your senyru is dead-on, of course. I wouldn't expect any less from you; however, if I were to rate for understanding (mine), this piece would have only gotten three stars. Can you explain to me what it is you are trying to tell me with this one? I feel lost.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
-
The description might help. It's a commentary on prejudice and stupidity. The shoppers mistake the word "muslin" for "Muslim".
Does that clear it up?
Comment from honeytree
I guess one should read the label
Carefully and decide what bed sheets they will buy.
Why is their a problem with muslin?
Honey tree
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
|
I guess one should read the label
Carefully and decide what bed sheets they will buy.
Why is their a problem with muslin?
Honey tree
Comment Written 22-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
-
It's a play on words. Shoppers who don't look close or can't spell are thinking "muslim" Hope this helps.
Comment from ameen786
Spitfire my friend, I salute you for your shrewd and artistic reflection; a very apt right in this month of 'Black History'-although, you have 'muslim' in mind, but still, awesome and clever expression of prejudices in our lives, specially, in the western (so called) advanced societies; you even managed to use some alliteration. Outstanding and genius!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
 |
Spitfire my friend, I salute you for your shrewd and artistic reflection; a very apt right in this month of 'Black History'-although, you have 'muslim' in mind, but still, awesome and clever expression of prejudices in our lives, specially, in the western (so called) advanced societies; you even managed to use some alliteration. Outstanding and genius!
Comment Written 22-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
-
Many thanks for the sixer. Yes, it's sad that we lump all Muslims as evil. I wanted to show the ignorance of many. Genius! Wow, a review doesn't get any better than that.
Comment from catch22
This is a very sarcastic and sad commentary on American society and prejudice. I think you've managed to turn the prejudices of the Western world against Muslim people into a biting satire in your senryu. The ignorance depicted in your poem by the "Shoppers" is a brilliant play on the word "muslin".
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
|
This is a very sarcastic and sad commentary on American society and prejudice. I think you've managed to turn the prejudices of the Western world against Muslim people into a biting satire in your senryu. The ignorance depicted in your poem by the "Shoppers" is a brilliant play on the word "muslin".
Comment Written 22-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
-
Thank you, gail. You always "get it".
-
You are most welcome!
Comment from the blue pixel
I couldn't help but laugh the moment I read this senyru Shari but I suddenly stopped as there is nothing funny about fear of muslims. As usual, it is the fanatic and not the everyday muslim that people fear but terrorism is aptly named and you have well demonstrated the power of this fear in this excellent senryu. You must write these in your sleep my friend. xx Pix
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
|
I couldn't help but laugh the moment I read this senyru Shari but I suddenly stopped as there is nothing funny about fear of muslims. As usual, it is the fanatic and not the everyday muslim that people fear but terrorism is aptly named and you have well demonstrated the power of this fear in this excellent senryu. You must write these in your sleep my friend. xx Pix
Comment Written 22-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
-
I sleep like a lamb. Don't even dream anymore. This one came through when I made my bed this morning.
Comment from FlamingSpade
LOL. Give me a nice old fashioned cheap crisp sheet and I'm happiest. They usually don't bother to wrinkle and never wear out. My sheets from 20 years ago now cover my plants in the cold!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
|
LOL. Give me a nice old fashioned cheap crisp sheet and I'm happiest. They usually don't bother to wrinkle and never wear out. My sheets from 20 years ago now cover my plants in the cold!
Comment Written 22-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
-
You cover plants? You're kinder than I. My theory is- make it on your own, buddy.
-
OMG! Your answer made me bust out laughing. Is that a 4-5-4-7? LOL
