To Watch the Stars
8 total reviews
Comment from justjo66
A beautiful and touching poem. However, you have
entered a 5-7-5 contest and this is not a 5-7-5 poem.
Please check the contest rules for an example of
the proper form. I will be happy to reconsider your
poem if you meet the requirements.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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A beautiful and touching poem. However, you have
entered a 5-7-5 contest and this is not a 5-7-5 poem.
Please check the contest rules for an example of
the proper form. I will be happy to reconsider your
poem if you meet the requirements.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thankyou! I am sorry about that. I am new here and I really didn't read much into the contest I just wanted to post it for reviews. I should have looked more into it. Is there a way to take it out of the contest or somethin?
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I'm fairly new here myself and am not sure but I think the person conducting the contest will take your entry out since it does not fit the requirements. It was a good poem. Keep writing.
Comment from magicpotwhat
Lovely your words and the way you have expressed them is great about nature, love, and the universe very inspiring I would recommend this really enjoyable good luck to you and love and blessings to you Thank you so much
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Lovely your words and the way you have expressed them is great about nature, love, and the universe very inspiring I would recommend this really enjoyable good luck to you and love and blessings to you Thank you so much
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thankyou :)
Comment from robyn corum
I think this is a truly romantic and wistful poem. Although I do think it would read better without the "You are" at the beginning. Don't mean to offend. It just seems out of context. Thanks
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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I think this is a truly romantic and wistful poem. Although I do think it would read better without the "You are" at the beginning. Don't mean to offend. It just seems out of context. Thanks
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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You're right. I just couldn't think of a name that would fit my poem perfectly.
Comment from dhee khaye
I see on top that it is a 5-7-5? Are you new here?
Anyways i'll just help you fix your entry.
5-7-5 poetry is a poem compose of 3 lines
1st line is composed of 5 syllables
2nd line is composed of 7 syllables
and the 3rd composed of 5 syllables also
that is why it is called 5-7-5 it is like haiku and senryu poem is syllabic counts they are just differ in a way that A Haiku, primarily concerned with physical nature.A 5-7-5 poem is a free form with the only limitation being the syllable count.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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I see on top that it is a 5-7-5? Are you new here?
Anyways i'll just help you fix your entry.
5-7-5 poetry is a poem compose of 3 lines
1st line is composed of 5 syllables
2nd line is composed of 7 syllables
and the 3rd composed of 5 syllables also
that is why it is called 5-7-5 it is like haiku and senryu poem is syllabic counts they are just differ in a way that A Haiku, primarily concerned with physical nature.A 5-7-5 poem is a free form with the only limitation being the syllable count.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Yes, I am new here and thankyou for informing me!
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no worries if you need help i'm here i will help you as far as I can
Comment from yndemand
I love this as a free verse poem but you have entered it in the 5-7-5 poem. You have time to change this for the simple reason that it doesn't end until may. 5-7-5 poem is three lines long.
1st line 5 syllables
2nd line 7 syllables
3rd line 5 syllables
example from your words to help
Is my love for thee
you are my everything
like the buds in spring
You have time to correct it each prompt have directions and requirements given Just read carefully. Good luck
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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I love this as a free verse poem but you have entered it in the 5-7-5 poem. You have time to change this for the simple reason that it doesn't end until may. 5-7-5 poem is three lines long.
1st line 5 syllables
2nd line 7 syllables
3rd line 5 syllables
example from your words to help
Is my love for thee
you are my everything
like the buds in spring
You have time to correct it each prompt have directions and requirements given Just read carefully. Good luck
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thanks alot!
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you are quite welcome If you let me know when you redo it I will redo the review
Comment from tonytnt
The poem I like. But if this is a 5/7/5 contest entry I don't see it.A 5/7/5 Is a 5 syllable 7 / 5 syllable. They will disqualify it.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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The poem I like. But if this is a 5/7/5 contest entry I don't see it.A 5/7/5 Is a 5 syllable 7 / 5 syllable. They will disqualify it.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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thanks
Comment from Wonkit
This is listed as a 5-7-5 entry but, of course, it is not at all like haiku, which is limited to a small number of syllables. I think that may have been an innocent error. This is such a romantic poem and full of emotion. I think the use of the word "thee" makes it seem a little remote and old fashioned, especially since you also use the more modern "you" form at the very beginning. You have chosen good rhyming words but you might want to try finding something unique to you and your lover instead of merely using images that have been used a lot - flowers, birds, trees, etc. This is your poem, and the more you say something that is your own experience, the sweeter the tribute to your love will be.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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This is listed as a 5-7-5 entry but, of course, it is not at all like haiku, which is limited to a small number of syllables. I think that may have been an innocent error. This is such a romantic poem and full of emotion. I think the use of the word "thee" makes it seem a little remote and old fashioned, especially since you also use the more modern "you" form at the very beginning. You have chosen good rhyming words but you might want to try finding something unique to you and your lover instead of merely using images that have been used a lot - flowers, birds, trees, etc. This is your poem, and the more you say something that is your own experience, the sweeter the tribute to your love will be.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thankyou! I love an honest opinion.
Comment from donette1914
simply beautiful! the words sounded like music and so very touching as it came from your heart. this was so smooth to read, it was a pleasure to read
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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simply beautiful! the words sounded like music and so very touching as it came from your heart. this was so smooth to read, it was a pleasure to read
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thanks!
