Do You Remember Asbury?
Long Lost Love97 total reviews
Comment from Deejharrington
A beautiful memory of a love lost or gone too soon. Maybe it is in its short life lives its appeal. The mind always remembers the sun and blue water. I loved the way you used the "shadow" to lead you through yesterday's love.
deb
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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A beautiful memory of a love lost or gone too soon. Maybe it is in its short life lives its appeal. The mind always remembers the sun and blue water. I loved the way you used the "shadow" to lead you through yesterday's love.
deb
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Thank you so very much for the kind review...dark lord
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you are very welcome
deb
Comment from Poetic, Just Is.
What a lovely free verse poem! I simply thought it was stunning!
It took me back to a ski lodge, in Brighton where I once met someone... ah, but I digress! LOL
Asbury Beach! love it!
There are two typos... heels is spelled incorrectly... it should be with a double "ee", not with an "ea", as in heel of the foot.
and in the last stanza, second to last line, should be (I believe), "you and me", instead of "you and I"... the rule is, "I" or "me" should be able to stand alone... so you could say, "the very spot where you met me all those years ago", instead of "the very spot where you met I, all those years ago"... see? (at least I'm pretty sure that's correct) :-)
But that's certainly not detracting from any rating, in my books! :-)
It's simply beautiful! Well done, Dk
PJI
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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What a lovely free verse poem! I simply thought it was stunning!
It took me back to a ski lodge, in Brighton where I once met someone... ah, but I digress! LOL
Asbury Beach! love it!
There are two typos... heels is spelled incorrectly... it should be with a double "ee", not with an "ea", as in heel of the foot.
and in the last stanza, second to last line, should be (I believe), "you and me", instead of "you and I"... the rule is, "I" or "me" should be able to stand alone... so you could say, "the very spot where you met me all those years ago", instead of "the very spot where you met I, all those years ago"... see? (at least I'm pretty sure that's correct) :-)
But that's certainly not detracting from any rating, in my books! :-)
It's simply beautiful! Well done, Dk
PJI
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for the kind review...dark lord
Comment from Honeysuckle1876
This was great and not as dark and lonely as others I have read. I see you do have a softer side. I liked the almost repeating last line of the stanza. Great story in poetic form. nice job
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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This was great and not as dark and lonely as others I have read. I see you do have a softer side. I liked the almost repeating last line of the stanza. Great story in poetic form. nice job
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Thank you so very much for the kind review...dark lord
Comment from gramalot8
Dark Lord, very nice. I love the picture which seems to go very well with the picture of your love on Asbury Beach. Very nice visual of your love you shared in a special place.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Dark Lord, very nice. I love the picture which seems to go very well with the picture of your love on Asbury Beach. Very nice visual of your love you shared in a special place.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for the kind review...dark lord
Comment from kenzi'spoems
this is great! i loved it! to be honest, at first i thought you meant Asbury college, but then i realized it was asbury beach! a great poem!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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this is great! i loved it! to be honest, at first i thought you meant Asbury college, but then i realized it was asbury beach! a great poem!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for the kind review...dark lord
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This is a very interesting structure of writing poems. In this specific case a mournful poem of memories of time spent on a beach that was obviously very special. A well-written piece.
Good job!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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This is a very interesting structure of writing poems. In this specific case a mournful poem of memories of time spent on a beach that was obviously very special. A well-written piece.
Good job!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for the kind review...dark lord
Comment from Amy Comstock
This is a beautiful tribute to the one you love. I like how you ended each line....how you broke it down throughout the day. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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This is a beautiful tribute to the one you love. I like how you ended each line....how you broke it down throughout the day. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for the kind review...dark lord
Comment from JennieClare
In your poem you describe the loss of having spent wonderful times with Maria - and the knowledge that you'll not have these times again is painful - why Maria? You draw the reader in with your words - well done. Jennie
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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In your poem you describe the loss of having spent wonderful times with Maria - and the knowledge that you'll not have these times again is painful - why Maria? You draw the reader in with your words - well done. Jennie
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for the kind review...dark lord
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your welcome - jennie
Comment from hellion5
Wonderful emotion and imagery. I could feel your sense of loss. The imagery of the shadow is powerful, reminding me of the shadows of the past that follow me around from time to time as well.
Great work--
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Wonderful emotion and imagery. I could feel your sense of loss. The imagery of the shadow is powerful, reminding me of the shadows of the past that follow me around from time to time as well.
Great work--
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for the kind review...dark lord
Comment from peggles
I thought this was so beautiful
Smooth wording delicately composed
This was utterly charming
The rhyme and tone is perfect
I enjoyed reading this post very much
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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I thought this was so beautiful
Smooth wording delicately composed
This was utterly charming
The rhyme and tone is perfect
I enjoyed reading this post very much
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for the kind review...dark lord
