Jimmy the Pelican
A children's poem with a moral17 total reviews
Comment from Diane Manning
I enjoyed the simplicity of the message and the imagery of the creature. The rhyming was smooth and the narrative enjoyable. The word "And" seem too prevalent such as in "And he made a throaty grunt" which could be made "making a throaty grunt" or something similar. Also, practiced is spelled wrong. I see this was a writing prompt. Good work!
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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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I enjoyed the simplicity of the message and the imagery of the creature. The rhyming was smooth and the narrative enjoyable. The word "And" seem too prevalent such as in "And he made a throaty grunt" which could be made "making a throaty grunt" or something similar. Also, practiced is spelled wrong. I see this was a writing prompt. Good work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Australian spelling practice is the noun and practise the verb
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Oh! Interesting....and good to know. thanks!
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You are welcome
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You are welcome
Comment from sevenseat
I like this poem, as i am a pelican fan. The only thing that i felt could have been better was the wording was a bit wordy for a kid possibly, but i am not a kid nor do i have one. I liked the rhyming, but maybe a bit much for a simple picture book. but I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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I like this poem, as i am a pelican fan. The only thing that i felt could have been better was the wording was a bit wordy for a kid possibly, but i am not a kid nor do i have one. I liked the rhyming, but maybe a bit much for a simple picture book. but I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Conditions of the competition were that it rhymed.
Thanks for the feedback.
Comment from purrfect tale
This would work perfectly for children. Your pelican is an intriguing character and there is lots of humor in the story. Both things would capture the attention of kids so they hang around to hear your moral.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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This would work perfectly for children. Your pelican is an intriguing character and there is lots of humor in the story. Both things would capture the attention of kids so they hang around to hear your moral.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you for reading and reviewing and your encouraging remarks
Comment from rchitwood
Very true practice makes perfect this is a very good children's poem and a pleasure to read. Your lines flow very well and it has very creative imagination as well as a good lesson. Your photo compliments your poem well. Blessings Rita
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Very true practice makes perfect this is a very good children's poem and a pleasure to read. Your lines flow very well and it has very creative imagination as well as a good lesson. Your photo compliments your poem well. Blessings Rita
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you for your kind review. Robyn
Comment from Skyangel02
Excellent rhyming and rhythm. It flows very smoothly.
There is not one thing I can suggest for improvement.
I am just reading through all the poems in this voting booth to see which one I ought to vote for. Good luck. I haven't read the rest of the entries yet but yours is one I will definitely consider.
Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
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Excellent rhyming and rhythm. It flows very smoothly.
There is not one thing I can suggest for improvement.
I am just reading through all the poems in this voting booth to see which one I ought to vote for. Good luck. I haven't read the rest of the entries yet but yours is one I will definitely consider.
Well done.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
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Thank you
Comment from uniqueauthor
This is well written poem with strong message that can't help but be understood, pracitice makes perfet in everything you do.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
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This is well written poem with strong message that can't help but be understood, pracitice makes perfet in everything you do.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
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Thnks for reading my poem
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You're welcome. Peace
Comment from rashi kumar
Nice! A very unique poem to motivate kiddies, very well-written and presented, good flow and appeal! Nice imagery! All the best!
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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
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Nice! A very unique poem to motivate kiddies, very well-written and presented, good flow and appeal! Nice imagery! All the best!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
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Thank you for your encouragement
