Jimmy the Pelican
A children's poem with a moral17 total reviews
Comment from amarherig14
Well written poem rightfully written for children. The lesson here is that "practice makes perfect".Children learn easily when stories are portrayed with animals of any kind.The picture used compliments this write. Good rhyme, rhythm and flow are very good.Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
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Well written poem rightfully written for children. The lesson here is that "practice makes perfect".Children learn easily when stories are portrayed with animals of any kind.The picture used compliments this write. Good rhyme, rhythm and flow are very good.Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
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Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem and being so kind about it. I loved your poem. Hope you post lots more.
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You are welcome ,Christina.I loved it,very creative.Thanks for liking the poem. In the near future I will. Blessings,Margie.
Comment from mermaids
I enjoyed reading this poem what a delight to read about a pelican. You motivate children to keep trying. Excellent use of words and flow of verse. You also create vivid images.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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I enjoyed reading this poem what a delight to read about a pelican. You motivate children to keep trying. Excellent use of words and flow of verse. You also create vivid images.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Wow, thank you for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.
Comment from Linda England Bonam
What a lovely poem that you wrote. It was so cute, and I am sure that young children will enjoy it as much as I did. A poem for all ages to enjoy!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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What a lovely poem that you wrote. It was so cute, and I am sure that young children will enjoy it as much as I did. A poem for all ages to enjoy!
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Thank you for reading and reviewing and liking my poem.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
One little nit- pic, easy fix (Practiced) you spelled it wrong.
Delightful poem. Any child will love.
Nice picture to compliment your work.
Good work. Nancy
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
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One little nit- pic, easy fix (Practiced) you spelled it wrong.
Delightful poem. Any child will love.
Nice picture to compliment your work.
Good work. Nancy
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
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Thank you.
Comment from honeytree
A very successful pelican catching so many fish.
He probably overindulged and may not
Want to be fed for a while.
Practice always pays off in the end.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
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A very successful pelican catching so many fish.
He probably overindulged and may not
Want to be fed for a while.
Practice always pays off in the end.
Honey tree
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
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Thank you very much. Lovely response.
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I enjoyed what you wrote very much.
Honey tree
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I am glad you liked the review.
I enjoyed reading them.
Honey tree
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is truly outstanding!Correct the spelling below and I will up it to 6 stars.
In every tiny morsal.<--morsel has an "e" in it
Gobbling up the dorsal.<--correct, and a great word to use here!
Love the message here. You told it just right to make your point!
The moral of this story
Is to practice every day.
Soon you'll feel the glory.
Success is on your way.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
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This is truly outstanding!Correct the spelling below and I will up it to 6 stars.
In every tiny morsal.<--morsel has an "e" in it
Gobbling up the dorsal.<--correct, and a great word to use here!
Love the message here. You told it just right to make your point!
The moral of this story
Is to practice every day.
Soon you'll feel the glory.
Success is on your way.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012
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Thank you, will try again to correct the spelling.
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Too late to change to six, since the new week began a few hours ago and no sixes are left from last week. Wish you'd have been online just three hours ago. :(
Comment from psalmist
I know this is rather late, but a cute entry for this contest. I'm sure children would be delighted with the antics of Jimmy the Pelican. On the whole I thought your rhyme scheme worked quite well. I do have a couple of suggestions on a couple of lines I thought were a little awkward: And (he) made a throaty grunt: I would eliminate "he", to help keep the meter the same. Swooped down on by a gull: I was a little unsure, was Jimmy swooping down or the man's hand? I'm guessing it refers to Jimmy, so again, to keep the meter steady, perhaps "then swooped right past a gull", or "then swooped down by a gull." Just a couple of suggestions. Otherwise a really cute poem. Linda
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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I know this is rather late, but a cute entry for this contest. I'm sure children would be delighted with the antics of Jimmy the Pelican. On the whole I thought your rhyme scheme worked quite well. I do have a couple of suggestions on a couple of lines I thought were a little awkward: And (he) made a throaty grunt: I would eliminate "he", to help keep the meter the same. Swooped down on by a gull: I was a little unsure, was Jimmy swooping down or the man's hand? I'm guessing it refers to Jimmy, so again, to keep the meter steady, perhaps "then swooped right past a gull", or "then swooped down by a gull." Just a couple of suggestions. Otherwise a really cute poem. Linda
Comment Written 16-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Thank you for re-viewing it and for your suggestions about the number of syllables. I have reviewed all the last lines, a few times but it took me a while to find where to review it so that the changes were saved. I like it better. I tend to be fighting deadlines when I enter contests and they are not really checked. Thanks It is good to able to refine it. Robyn
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My pleasure. I have the same trouble with contests. There have been times when I forget what the requirements are and mess up that way, lol. Linda
Comment from Jade Johnson
Excellent children's poem with good rhythm and rhyme demonstrating a very good lesson:
The moral of this story
Is to practice every day.
Then soon you'll have the glory
Through success that comes your way.
Good luck in the contest.
Blessing Jade
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Excellent children's poem with good rhythm and rhyme demonstrating a very good lesson:
The moral of this story
Is to practice every day.
Then soon you'll have the glory
Through success that comes your way.
Good luck in the contest.
Blessing Jade
Comment Written 07-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you for reading my poem and reviewing. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from liz10240
I enjoyed this poem, good story, good rhyme and it flows along nicely. Most important, I think it would hold a childs interest..not too long and doesn't get bogged down. The moral is great because young kids hate to practice anything! Best of luck in the contest..
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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I enjoyed this poem, good story, good rhyme and it flows along nicely. Most important, I think it would hold a childs interest..not too long and doesn't get bogged down. The moral is great because young kids hate to practice anything! Best of luck in the contest..
Comment Written 07-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you for your encouragement.
Comment from adewpearl
Good use of abcb rhyming
Excellent detail make Jimmy and his activities pop to life
good alliteration in finally a fisherman/full/fateful
and in flapped and flipped
I like the proximate rhyme of flipped and clapped
love the rhyme of morsel/dorsal - morsal should be morsel
What a cute poem to teach a lesson in an entertaining, not preachy way :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Good use of abcb rhyming
Excellent detail make Jimmy and his activities pop to life
good alliteration in finally a fisherman/full/fateful
and in flapped and flipped
I like the proximate rhyme of flipped and clapped
love the rhyme of morsel/dorsal - morsal should be morsel
What a cute poem to teach a lesson in an entertaining, not preachy way :-) Brooke
Comment Written 07-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you for your comments. Glad you liked my poem.
