Senryu Provocations
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "fast wheels and cell phone"Reflection on human behavior
17 total reviews
Comment from ameen786
Spitfire my friend, a timely write given the number of accidents happening because of this irresponsible usage by drivers, one needs complete focus on driving, you reflect that wonderfully in the senryu, the satori is perfect in delivering that message. Please check line one, missing a syllable....the word 'tires' is one syllable. May be replace with 'autos'
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Spitfire my friend, a timely write given the number of accidents happening because of this irresponsible usage by drivers, one needs complete focus on driving, you reflect that wonderfully in the senryu, the satori is perfect in delivering that message. Please check line one, missing a syllable....the word 'tires' is one syllable. May be replace with 'autos'
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Another reviewer mentioned this. I pronounce tires as two, but did some changing. I appreciate your calling this to my attention.
Hugs, Shari
Comment from Gideon300
Oh so true. And they do distract the driver, and we have all been guilty I bet. I like how your poem puts the danger so neatly together in so few words. Nice Work.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Oh so true. And they do distract the driver, and we have all been guilty I bet. I like how your poem puts the danger so neatly together in so few words. Nice Work.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thanks, stauros for appreciating my word economy.
Comment from Gungalo
Imagine!! What did we ever do before they came along. It is not legal here in the Virgin Islands to use your phone while driving ... unless you have speaker phone and it can be plugged into the dash.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Imagine!! What did we ever do before they came along. It is not legal here in the Virgin Islands to use your phone while driving ... unless you have speaker phone and it can be plugged into the dash.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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That's what my daughter has. But even then, I should thing it would be a distraction to some extent.
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I agree totally.
Comment from uniqueauthor
It makes you wonder what pecentage of fatal accidents were actually caused becuse the driver was distracted either by talking or testing. Have you seen that commercial about testing and cell phones. It doesn't much matter how easy it is to use, if you're dead you won't be using it at all.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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It makes you wonder what pecentage of fatal accidents were actually caused becuse the driver was distracted either by talking or testing. Have you seen that commercial about testing and cell phones. It doesn't much matter how easy it is to use, if you're dead you won't be using it at all.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Haven't seen the commercial, but you're right-it may be easy but... Thanks for reviewing.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Kingsland
I have had several close calls by those talking on cell phones. I had a friend get run over by someone while they were talking on a cell phone, he died. This was a very good piece of poetic art to have read and written this response for... John
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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I have had several close calls by those talking on cell phones. I had a friend get run over by someone while they were talking on a cell phone, he died. This was a very good piece of poetic art to have read and written this response for... John
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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OMG, John. I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope the driver was charged.
Comment from livingwords
It's an apt comparison to use tires and cell phones 'sharing drivers' on ruthless road, instead of focusing on the people driving. Very creative. Dan :))
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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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It's an apt comparison to use tires and cell phones 'sharing drivers' on ruthless road, instead of focusing on the people driving. Very creative. Dan :))
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Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thanks, Dan. I just received word that tires is only one syllable. I guess I've lived too long in the south. Anyway, I made a change to "fast wheels" . I'm glad that you liked the phrasing of sharing drivers.
Comment from TammyGail
I was just thinking about that myself when some little bitch pulled out in front of me, granted I'm not saint a ticket would suck but really I've had 4 friends die in the passed year and when the stupid ass message is showed to their family its hardly worth it.. Great work on this poem Spitfire
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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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I was just thinking about that myself when some little bitch pulled out in front of me, granted I'm not saint a ticket would suck but really I've had 4 friends die in the passed year and when the stupid ass message is showed to their family its hardly worth it.. Great work on this poem Spitfire
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Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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WOW! Sorry to hear about your friends. Kingsland just wrote that his friend was hit by someone on the cell while driving. His friend died. Scary!
