At My Mothers Feet
I miss you mommy3 total reviews
Comment from samandlancelot
Good Girl,
You begin your poem with a plea to be able to speak to your mother & listen to her again. Midway, I see your efforts have not been fulfilled. Then you turn to others who do not appreciate the mothers they still have. It irritates you that they have what you want & don't appreciate it. Then you scold them & tell them that their selfishness won't give them what they are looking for; what they are looking for can only come through their mothers.
Thank you for sharing.
I believe you have entered this in the wrong contest. This contest should be three lines, 5/7/5 syllables. Initially, it was distracting & took some effort to simply enjoy your poem apart from the contest requirements.
To listen to your wisdom's (wisdom) and let my mind unwind
All the things to (you) told me about when you could
Can I rub you (your) feet, get you water take you out to dine
Are you good to you (your) mother I am asking you?
Patricia
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Good Girl,
You begin your poem with a plea to be able to speak to your mother & listen to her again. Midway, I see your efforts have not been fulfilled. Then you turn to others who do not appreciate the mothers they still have. It irritates you that they have what you want & don't appreciate it. Then you scold them & tell them that their selfishness won't give them what they are looking for; what they are looking for can only come through their mothers.
Thank you for sharing.
I believe you have entered this in the wrong contest. This contest should be three lines, 5/7/5 syllables. Initially, it was distracting & took some effort to simply enjoy your poem apart from the contest requirements.
To listen to your wisdom's (wisdom) and let my mind unwind
All the things to (you) told me about when you could
Can I rub you (your) feet, get you water take you out to dine
Are you good to you (your) mother I am asking you?
Patricia
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
Comment from LisaSilva
Sounds like you were as good to your mother as she was to you. It's not always that beautiful, so you are very lucky, though you miss her. I hope you feel her near you somehow to ease the loss. (Just to note, a 5-7-5 is a syllable count for next time)
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Sounds like you were as good to your mother as she was to you. It's not always that beautiful, so you are very lucky, though you miss her. I hope you feel her near you somehow to ease the loss. (Just to note, a 5-7-5 is a syllable count for next time)
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
Comment from mumsyone
Oops! Your poem is not a 5-7-5. The 5-7-5 calls for 3 lines only, of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. I hope you can fix it so that it qualifies for the contest.
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Oops! Your poem is not a 5-7-5. The 5-7-5 calls for 3 lines only, of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. I hope you can fix it so that it qualifies for the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
