Reviews from

Senryu Provocations

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "nicotine fingers "
Reflection on human behavior

19 total reviews 
Comment from pasinger
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My first reaction I think as a non-smoker was to want to throw up. Pollution of the worse kind.

it was very vivid and to the point. Quite shocking.

by the way I did smoke for a short while in my teens, so i have seen both sides.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jan-2012
    The media did a great job on making us realize the dangers of this habit. My husband smoked when I met him and I thought it was sexy!
Comment from closetpoetjester
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Haha yes, damn it to hell I'll bet! LOL Great little punishing 5/7/5 on the woes of smoking...even effects bedroom performance it seems...well at least foreplay. LOL
Great job Spitty...you are on fire! Hmmm a pun? Yup.
Pic was smokin hot, but he looked a little yellow. heehee
Cheers closet xo
PS Hmmm...sure sounds like SHE is going to have to sort herself out...bahaha...damn smokers! LOL

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jan-2012
    Before all the bad stuff came out about smoking, I actually thought the smell of nicoline on fingers quite sexy!
reply by closetpoetjester on 21-Jan-2012
    Are you kidding? *holding nose* !!! I'm a reformed smoker (8 years)...sorry...
    But listen, I get equally turned on by beer breath and I have NO idea why...
    Thats quite possibly as bad.
    Cheers Closet xo
reply by closetpoetjester on 21-Jan-2012
    I meant to put a couple of these in...LOL LOL
    Each to their own Spitty...and hey, with a name like you've got, no wonder you find smoking sexy! Haha
Comment from mermaids
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My husband has to smoke outside now because one of our cats has asthma. It is so hard to quit. THis poem is creative and brings up a good point. Excellent poetic form here.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 20-Jan-2012
    That's funny- your cat having asthma. Anyway, second hand smoke is the worst, so be glad he's smoking outside. It may save your life!
Comment from Louise Michelle
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Good grief, what's a reader to think. Is this a commentary on a bad lover or perhaps an addict. I'll say this, girlfriend, I just hope he doesn't have a lit cig in those fumbling fingers, lol. Hugs, Lou

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2012
    Funny girl! Yes, Lou, this can have many interpretations. Thanks for your input.
Comment from cercie
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How sad the habit of smoking gets to intereer with the art of making love. Reading between the lines is the message I found the true meaning.
cercie

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2012
    You did indeed! Congratulations. One of the few.
Comment from FlamingSpade
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I always look forward to your posts. Sometimes I think you're as ablaze as your hair. My mother proudly and leerily said to me, "Who thinks like you?" Excuse me, Shari, "No, who thinks like you?!" Ginger

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2012
    Wow! Thanks for the compliment. I'm not an original redhead tho. I was born a brunette. How about you?
reply by FlamingSpade on 19-Jan-2012
    I confess. As a kid I started off a toehead, then blonde, then dirty blonde, then ash blonde...followed by ash/gray combo. I'm more exciting than that. So red. First, I went platinum (sister and niece are hairstylists)like Guy Fieri. I rocked it until winter and I grew pale and began to resemble a q-tip!
    (A nice brown was fun for a while, years ago, but I love our luck to be natural reds in later years!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2012
    I tried blonde too in my forties and looked like a q-tip too. I knew from the start I was born to be red.
Comment from Eleanor Buron
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Good sketch of a smoker to complement your poem. I always look for layers of meaning even in a word. A "habit" can be an article of clothing. A habit is something done frequently or in the same way often. The second line is graphic - no mystery - so the last line is, again, one of your enigma endings. Philosophers say if you don't get the meaning then you haven't pondered the depths. ;) I think I get this smoldering meaning. Good work.

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2012
    Thanks,Elly. It could be interpreted two ways in terms of who has the habit--the male or the female.
reply by Eleanor Buron on 19-Jan-2012
    Ahh..yeas. Got it. Elly
Comment from AprilShower
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If its a lament, he shouldn't be her lover. To lament just shows her desperation. Oh well, so be it. It just one of those 5/7/5 poems and it had to say something that was meaningful. Good poem, Spitfire.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2012
    It's his lament that he's so addicted he has to have a "fix" in the middle of foreplay.
reply by AprilShower on 19-Jan-2012
    Oh, my! That's really awful. :o(
Comment from mountainwriter49
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Hi Poet

Now, this is a fine senryu and one that
I enjoyed reading. Good word play and
contrast with nicotine fingers / lace panties
and the sarcasm is perfect in the satori.

A good read. Thanks for sharing.
Ray

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2012
    Hi to you too, Ray. Thanks for reading. See what a good teacher you are. I tell everyone to read your primer.
    Hugs, Shari
Comment from ameen786
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A great idea to quit smoking for who want to fumble coming that far or close; a very clever senryu with wonderful word choice and alliteration.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2012
    Ah, you got the clue: fumble. The only one to see it or mention it so far. Glad you enjoyed.