Passin' Through Purgatory
The specter of hate (Please read notes)31 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
This is a fascinating story and very well written. You do a great job with the dialect too. Just a note: often when the word ask is spoken it is pronounced axt. I never touch Flash Fiction, I talk way too much to every dare attempting to write one. Great work with this one. I really love the ending...very powerful.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
This is a fascinating story and very well written. You do a great job with the dialect too. Just a note: often when the word ask is spoken it is pronounced axt. I never touch Flash Fiction, I talk way too much to every dare attempting to write one. Great work with this one. I really love the ending...very powerful.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
-
Hi Smurphy!! Hugs! I had to try, I keep seeing Newt Gingrich...spouting. SO, had to write this. God help this country. I'm glad you enjoyd this attempt at dialect and dialogue...Never hurts to try I guess. Love, Suse
Comment from JW
This story was an interesting depiction of how things used to be a while back. It brought back memories from my childhood, when segregation was still practiced.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
This story was an interesting depiction of how things used to be a while back. It brought back memories from my childhood, when segregation was still practiced.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
-
Hi Jonathon...I thank you very much! When I was a child, we rarely saw black folk, but after I got out on my own, I met people of color who were always nice to me. And I have never felt any sort of resentment. Thankfully. I wish the world would just get along...One incident that haunts me is the three civil rights workers who went south to help blacks vote and were murdered by the KKK. The movie depicted it all too well. "Mississippi Burning"? SO awful. But, it's still around ... sadly. Thank YOU Jonathon...your reviews are a pleasure! Susan
Comment from c_lucas
The underground railroad ran north and and west, but I don't remember it running south. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
The underground railroad ran north and and west, but I don't remember it running south. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
-
Hi C! I will have to do better research from now on!! Thank you for another kind and welcome review!! Stay warm! Susan
-
You're welcome, Susan. Charlie
Comment from Cheryl Daphine
Wow,I could feel this one Realist. He had way more boldness in the face of trouble than I would have. A well written story based on all too much truth,hopefully from the past. Very good as always.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
Wow,I could feel this one Realist. He had way more boldness in the face of trouble than I would have. A well written story based on all too much truth,hopefully from the past. Very good as always.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
-
HI Cheryl! Thank you so much. It's nice to hear from you, and I really appreciate your kind review! I have seen some odd comments on the television lately by the people running for prez...which prompted this. Just unreal. Thanks again Cheryl!! Susan
Comment from gazzagodbod
i think the use of such words are justified when recalling historical pieces as unfortunately it was used a lot back then great work my friend gazzax
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
i think the use of such words are justified when recalling historical pieces as unfortunately it was used a lot back then great work my friend gazzax
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
-
Hi Gazza! In the south it was so common. And so hurtful. But worse of course, was the killing of innocents. Thank you for this kind note my friend...Susan
Comment from bhogg
Hi Susan - This was an interesting story. I particularly liked the pace that pulled me right through. I've written some pieces with heavy dialect and know it's not easy. You did well. Warm regards, Bill
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
Hi Susan - This was an interesting story. I particularly liked the pace that pulled me right through. I've written some pieces with heavy dialect and know it's not easy. You did well. Warm regards, Bill
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
-
Hi Bill! Thanks...it still has a few spots that need to be better, but I am having trouble making it just so. I do appreciate your encouraging note...we have to try! ") Hope you are safe and warm in this weather...Susan
Comment from Kaine Darcwater
This was a very interesting story, but a little hard to follow with the way the black man spoke. I know that it was meant to sound like they did way back in them slave days. You did a good job with it though. Have you ever watched the movie The Color Purple? This is an excellent film by Steven Spielberg. It is about this way of living. Great film. Highly recommended. Kudos. ;)
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
This was a very interesting story, but a little hard to follow with the way the black man spoke. I know that it was meant to sound like they did way back in them slave days. You did a good job with it though. Have you ever watched the movie The Color Purple? This is an excellent film by Steven Spielberg. It is about this way of living. Great film. Highly recommended. Kudos. ;)
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
-
Hi Bryan! Thank you so much. I wanted to try something different. It is hard doing dialect right...But, oh, yes, I've seen that show...VERY good. Old now tho. Like me. lol. Thank you again, this review is so kind....Susan
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Then change it to peaches. It still works!
Brilliant. I'd give you a ten, or at the very least a six, but have not or can not.
Doesn't matter, this was something that came out of a place I haven't seen in you before. What I have witnessed has been outstanding, but this was like an oil well that once tapped will still produce rishes.
Have no idea where you found this, but it was incredible. Thinking about you. Hope today is the day they try to ease the pain. ingrid
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
Then change it to peaches. It still works!
Brilliant. I'd give you a ten, or at the very least a six, but have not or can not.
Doesn't matter, this was something that came out of a place I haven't seen in you before. What I have witnessed has been outstanding, but this was like an oil well that once tapped will still produce rishes.
Have no idea where you found this, but it was incredible. Thinking about you. Hope today is the day they try to ease the pain. ingrid
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
-
Hey Ingrid! Many thank's! I just worked on this for accuracy. I had NO idea Georgia did not grow apples! N.K. reminded me, so I had to look up and read, which I should have done FIRST! Thank you for the encouragement. I've had a hellu'va week. I'll pm you ... Susan
Comment from N.K. Wagner
I'm trying to place state offices in Savannah's historic district and I just can't do it, Suse. Millidgeville was the Antebellum State capital of Georgia. And they don't grow apples except maybe in the mountains in the extreme northwest corner of the state. Peaches, pecans, cotton.
There's a lot of potential here, but I still don't know why your traveller is passing through. He's not too frightened if he's asking children for food. He'd ask slaves or hide until dark and steal what he needed.
I'd love to see this rewritten to historical accuracy and believability. As it is, it's really a 4.
:{ Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
I'm trying to place state offices in Savannah's historic district and I just can't do it, Suse. Millidgeville was the Antebellum State capital of Georgia. And they don't grow apples except maybe in the mountains in the extreme northwest corner of the state. Peaches, pecans, cotton.
There's a lot of potential here, but I still don't know why your traveller is passing through. He's not too frightened if he's asking children for food. He'd ask slaves or hide until dark and steal what he needed.
I'd love to see this rewritten to historical accuracy and believability. As it is, it's really a 4.
:{ Nancy
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
-
Hi Nancy! It's okay to rate as you see fit! I would understand! I will look at this again, and see what I can do? I really appreciate your honesty too. Great points. I was just trying to keep the word count below 800. I'll work on this! I feel so dumb. xx!! Susan
-
You just picked a place where I've lived, Suse. :) Nancy
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
Thanks for sharing this delightful story with me.Hi Susan I love this I guess you have a whole heap of information and history in your country. This was created with great writing talent. Mary
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
Thanks for sharing this delightful story with me.Hi Susan I love this I guess you have a whole heap of information and history in your country. This was created with great writing talent. Mary
Comment Written 12-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2012
-
Hi Mary...you're welcome...just glad you took the time to read. It's not easy to read such dialect either. Yes, the U.S. is steeped in racism. We have it still...you wouldn't believe some of what goes on here. VERY sad too. But, anyway, thank you for a very encouraging review...hugs! Susan