The Room was Empty...Full Circle
This sentence starts the story contest23 total reviews
Comment from Mara del Mar
Was a read very enjoyable, that maintain my interest awake all the time in the wait of the that go to pass. By a moment I thought that the spider was poisonous and would kill Mrs. Moreno. I loved, congrats and good luck.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Was a read very enjoyable, that maintain my interest awake all the time in the wait of the that go to pass. By a moment I thought that the spider was poisonous and would kill Mrs. Moreno. I loved, congrats and good luck.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for your review.
Comment from c_lucas
The spider should have hired a cat. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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The spider should have hired a cat. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for your review
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You're welcome, Elizabeth. Charlie
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, elizabeth, you did a great job wriitng this story about the battle of the cleaning woman and the spider, itneresting take. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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this is very well written, elizabeth, you did a great job wriitng this story about the battle of the cleaning woman and the spider, itneresting take. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for your review
Comment from rightforyou
Nice
I enjoyed reading this story along with the flow of the action that you have included making this a fine read...Well Done...Ron
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Nice
I enjoyed reading this story along with the flow of the action that you have included making this a fine read...Well Done...Ron
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for your review Ron
Comment from adewpearl
You set the stage well in your opening paragraphs and you pique my curiosity at the same time
you have an engaging narrative voice - I like the aside to the reader about taunting spiders
as this was her lively hood - livelihood
good personification of the spider
I love the combative relationship between spider and house cleaner
Where did you go, Arana - add comma for direct address
I have something for you, Arana - add comma
What a compelling ending!!! Brooke
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2012
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You set the stage well in your opening paragraphs and you pique my curiosity at the same time
you have an engaging narrative voice - I like the aside to the reader about taunting spiders
as this was her lively hood - livelihood
good personification of the spider
I love the combative relationship between spider and house cleaner
Where did you go, Arana - add comma for direct address
I have something for you, Arana - add comma
What a compelling ending!!! Brooke
Comment Written 14-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2012
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Thank you very much Brooke. My writing skills still need some polishing...I haven't done a lot of writing.
Comment from peggles
A empty room except for spiders
How I hate them even reading this gives me chills
your story was imaginative and funny
This had a smooth flow that made it a very enjoyable read an best wishes for the contest
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2012
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A empty room except for spiders
How I hate them even reading this gives me chills
your story was imaginative and funny
This had a smooth flow that made it a very enjoyable read an best wishes for the contest
Comment Written 10-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2012
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thanks very much. i was hoping to give chills with the part where the spider crawls up her leg. lol
Comment from sibhus
A very imaginative piece of writing. I thought it was really clever how you have pitted the spider against the cleaning lady, and her attempts to rid herself of the dreaded spider. This had a good flow that made it an enjoyable read and an excellent entry for the contest. Again good story and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2012
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A very imaginative piece of writing. I thought it was really clever how you have pitted the spider against the cleaning lady, and her attempts to rid herself of the dreaded spider. This had a good flow that made it an enjoyable read and an excellent entry for the contest. Again good story and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2012
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Thanks for the review. I'm gla dyou enjoyed it.
Comment from Carolyn 12
To me this is a funny story. I love the idea of letting go of a bird in the house to catch the spider. Smart bird, dead spider bird flys out-house empty. Cool.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2012
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To me this is a funny story. I love the idea of letting go of a bird in the house to catch the spider. Smart bird, dead spider bird flys out-house empty. Cool.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2012
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Thank you very much. It was a fun story to write.
Comment from viaux
I was totally engaged with your story, but I was rooting for the spider. As far as I am concerned you killed the hero. How often does that happen? It had to've been well done for me to last through it, but you were wrong about the room being empty. I was there at the end.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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I was totally engaged with your story, but I was rooting for the spider. As far as I am concerned you killed the hero. How often does that happen? It had to've been well done for me to last through it, but you were wrong about the room being empty. I was there at the end.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Thank you. Sorry I disappointed you. LOL Some have said the spider had it coming.
Comment from ScarletClearwater
You use the word "empty" a lot. try a synonym for more dynamic reading. I also wondered why the lady didn't use a step stool or ladder, maybe the room was even taller than that? You realy good imagery with this piece though. Good job!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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You use the word "empty" a lot. try a synonym for more dynamic reading. I also wondered why the lady didn't use a step stool or ladder, maybe the room was even taller than that? You realy good imagery with this piece though. Good job!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your review Scarlet.
