Sweeper
We all need some help16 total reviews
Comment from misscookie
MMmm I see you watching that show is giving you bright ideas what to write about. thats good.
I love your story very much. and you had my attention all the way.I fouynd it very interesting to read and I'm sure other reader like myself can relate.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2011
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MMmm I see you watching that show is giving you bright ideas what to write about. thats good.
I love your story very much. and you had my attention all the way.I fouynd it very interesting to read and I'm sure other reader like myself can relate.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2011
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Hi again! I saw a show a couple of years ago with appliances that came to life and one was a lamp? I guess that stuck with me. A Pixar show? Or cartoon....Something. But I'm very glad you got a kick out of this! I enjoyed this contest, but didn't win! This is a good time of year to clean! I did a lot of it this week. Just to get mussed back up. ")) Thank you again Cookie! oxox, Susan
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Now don't over do it relaxe to day.
I think you did a typo o not that anyo ne can see it. can they
( mussed back up) messed bacvk up.
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Oh no, :) Mussed is a word I love to use! I heard my mom say it a lot? i see what you're saying tho. Good point! Thank you!! Hug. S.
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Okay...I understand I have a few words people think it's a typo...You just have to explain that word in your Author notes.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Susan, this is great. I love it. And where can I find such helpful mice-clearly not in my house with 3 cats. 23 years here, never seen a mouse. This is great!!! Thank you so much-for some reason this didn't show up in my PM's. Sorry it took me so long to find it, but I love it!!! Take care Sweetie and enjoy the holiday knowing that i love you!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2011
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Susan, this is great. I love it. And where can I find such helpful mice-clearly not in my house with 3 cats. 23 years here, never seen a mouse. This is great!!! Thank you so much-for some reason this didn't show up in my PM's. Sorry it took me so long to find it, but I love it!!! Take care Sweetie and enjoy the holiday knowing that i love you!!! Debbie
Comment Written 24-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2011
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HI Debbie! HUGS! SO glad you liked this! I have lots of fans not getting my stories...just let Tom know, but he will say refan, but that doesn't work. Let me know...I hope your Christmas was nice. AND that you have a GREAT NEW year! Love to you! Susan
Comment from missy98writer
Susan
Your 412 word flash fuction supernatural story about a sweeper is very well written and as I read I could see the action unfold with concrete imagery. In 412 words you did a great job establishing a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your flash fiction. In your story you used excellent descriptive writing and your dialogue is good. It's a shame you didn't win the contest, my friend. The art work you used is fitting. I liked the metsphor you used in the end: "if you only dare to dream." I wish you good luck in future contest. I'd recommend your story to other reviewers. Keep on writing stories with a creative pen. I wish you a blessed Christmas & a prisoerous New Years, my friend. Thanks for entertaining me in 412 words...Melissa.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2011
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Susan
Your 412 word flash fuction supernatural story about a sweeper is very well written and as I read I could see the action unfold with concrete imagery. In 412 words you did a great job establishing a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your flash fiction. In your story you used excellent descriptive writing and your dialogue is good. It's a shame you didn't win the contest, my friend. The art work you used is fitting. I liked the metsphor you used in the end: "if you only dare to dream." I wish you good luck in future contest. I'd recommend your story to other reviewers. Keep on writing stories with a creative pen. I wish you a blessed Christmas & a prisoerous New Years, my friend. Thanks for entertaining me in 412 words...Melissa.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2011
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Hi there Melissa! THank you again! I love it when you like my work! Your reviews are always spot on, you really read and understand other's work! I can't tell you how I appreciate you. Smiles and a hug too. Susan
Comment from rchitwood
Very creative and I enjoyed reading your story. It has good creative imagination and good dialogue and characters. Who would have thought of the old Hoover vacuum. It held my attention and I would recommend this to others. Blessings Rita
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2011
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Very creative and I enjoyed reading your story. It has good creative imagination and good dialogue and characters. Who would have thought of the old Hoover vacuum. It held my attention and I would recommend this to others. Blessings Rita
Comment Written 22-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2011
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Hi there Rita! Thank you for reading and reviewing this one. I am happy you liked it! :)) Susan
Comment from purrfect tale
This was really good. I actually felt sorry for the poor little Hoover, as he will be trashed when the newer model moves in. Excellent character development and plot.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2011
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This was really good. I actually felt sorry for the poor little Hoover, as he will be trashed when the newer model moves in. Excellent character development and plot.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2011
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Hi again! Thank you again Purrfect...hugs for this kind and welcome review!!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have always enjoyed my Hoover. I enjoyed reading you short contest entry. I told an entire story in a very few words. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2011
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I have always enjoyed my Hoover. I enjoyed reading you short contest entry. I told an entire story in a very few words. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2011
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Thank you Barbara! My Hoover is in poor shape too! I will employ him tonight as I try to get ready for Christmas! :)) Thanks again!
Comment from size17
Great intro - Kirby who owns a Hoovers. You do a magnificent job creating here character in a short space.
They were both getting old' - nice parallel.
I lost a little in the ending. The deep reflective nature of the vacuums musing seem out of place with the light-heartedness of the rest of it. You also never address how the vaccum thought about being replaced. I also like the idea I reference above, with the vacuum and miss Kirby linked together, maybe even sharing the same fate.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2011
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Great intro - Kirby who owns a Hoovers. You do a magnificent job creating here character in a short space.
They were both getting old' - nice parallel.
I lost a little in the ending. The deep reflective nature of the vacuums musing seem out of place with the light-heartedness of the rest of it. You also never address how the vaccum thought about being replaced. I also like the idea I reference above, with the vacuum and miss Kirby linked together, maybe even sharing the same fate.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2011
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Hi there! Thank you! I will look at this and try to see if I can add this ?? Good thoughts and I appreciate your help! :))
Comment from RYME4U
Very nicely done. I like the message this tells about perserverence and loyalty. The picture goes very well with the story. Great job!
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2011
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Very nicely done. I like the message this tells about perserverence and loyalty. The picture goes very well with the story. Great job!
Comment Written 21-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2011
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Hi there! Thank you so much Ryme! It's great to know you enjoyed this! Merry Christmas! Susan
Comment from Betty517
This is a wonderful little story and I enjoyed reading this very much. Your imagination is very active I see! Good luck in the contest.
Betty
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2011
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This is a wonderful little story and I enjoyed reading this very much. Your imagination is very active I see! Good luck in the contest.
Betty
Comment Written 21-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2011
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Hi Betty! Thank you! I didn't win, but the well wishes are so appreciated and I wish you a great holiday too! Susan
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AWWW!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, a great job writing this story about the vacuum cleaner that cleaned up one last time for his owner. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2011
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this is very well written, mystery writer, a great job writing this story about the vacuum cleaner that cleaned up one last time for his owner. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 21-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2011
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Hi Pam! Thank you, this didn't win, but I am glad you enjoyed it! I send wishes to you and yours for a wonderful Christmas! HUG! Susan
