Hacked
A true horror story30 total reviews
Comment from Veronica Grace
Great work! The picture was yukky but it spoke a thousand words which only added to your tale. Wow, what a story. Truly a horror. Congratulations on your win! VG
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
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Great work! The picture was yukky but it spoke a thousand words which only added to your tale. Wow, what a story. Truly a horror. Congratulations on your win! VG
Comment Written 07-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments. I'm sorry it was off the listing so you could get member money for it but I appreciate you reading it anyway.
Beth
Comment from missy98writer
Beth,
Wow, I'm shocked this cleverly written piece of horror poetry didn't win the contest. The story you tell is horrific, the poor sister believed in her mentally Ill brother and he lost it totally and hacked her to death. In your story poem your words print fantastic imagery in this readers head. The art work is horrific and perfectly matches your horror poem 's theme. Your rhymes are excellent in this poem. In your horror porm your descriptive writing is great. In your poem you've effectively usedmetaphor and very good use of alliteration. The lines that stood out for me: "His sister had expressed her fear the madness had returned, but she was loath to let him go, although she'd been concerned." I also liked your hyporble you used in your poem: "His troubled mind sought answers now." I wish you good luck in future contests and other writing endevors. I'd recommend this splendid horror poem to other reviewers. I immensely enjoyed reading and reviewing your story poem about mental illness leading to a troubled man murdering his beloved sister. Thanks for sharing and please have a good day.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2011
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Beth,
Wow, I'm shocked this cleverly written piece of horror poetry didn't win the contest. The story you tell is horrific, the poor sister believed in her mentally Ill brother and he lost it totally and hacked her to death. In your story poem your words print fantastic imagery in this readers head. The art work is horrific and perfectly matches your horror poem 's theme. Your rhymes are excellent in this poem. In your horror porm your descriptive writing is great. In your poem you've effectively usedmetaphor and very good use of alliteration. The lines that stood out for me: "His sister had expressed her fear the madness had returned, but she was loath to let him go, although she'd been concerned." I also liked your hyporble you used in your poem: "His troubled mind sought answers now." I wish you good luck in future contests and other writing endevors. I'd recommend this splendid horror poem to other reviewers. I immensely enjoyed reading and reviewing your story poem about mental illness leading to a troubled man murdering his beloved sister. Thanks for sharing and please have a good day.
Melissa.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2011
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Thank you so much Melissa, for that glowing review. I had some stiff competition but at least it got All time Best status and about three five star reviews so I'm not unhappy. I tied for first in another contest a few days ago. I'm sorry you probably didn't get menber cents for reading but I'm so happy your did.
Beth
Comment from Charlene0513
A horrific event taken place after the onslaught of Dementia had taken it's course and found revenge in the act of human remains.
Charlene
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2011
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A horrific event taken place after the onslaught of Dementia had taken it's course and found revenge in the act of human remains.
Charlene
Comment Written 05-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2011
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review this. I really appreciate it.
Beth
Comment from PirateCaptainMorgana
You did a really good job of showing how insanity takes over someone. I really enjoyed reading this poem. The meter and rhythm is also constant, making the read just that much creepier of a read. Good Job!
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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You did a really good job of showing how insanity takes over someone. I really enjoyed reading this poem. The meter and rhythm is also constant, making the read just that much creepier of a read. Good Job!
Comment Written 05-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and for the wonderful comments. I appreciate the stars.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
There was a nice rhythm to your poem. It was not what I had expected, and therefore enjoyed it even more. Wish you well in your contest.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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There was a nice rhythm to your poem. It was not what I had expected, and therefore enjoyed it even more. Wish you well in your contest.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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Thank you so much for the six star review. I'm always pleasantly surprised with these. I'm glad you enjoyed it in spite of the horror.
Comment from Porscheslayer
I think that you have done extremely well to have told a whole story within the confines of 100 words. I also feel that there was good flow and rhythm to the poem, the rhymes weren't at all forced and the descriptions gave a chillingly accurate picture of what happened.
I also think that because it is a true story adds to the horror of the account you give. I like the thought you have given to how he might have been thinking after he had killed his sister.
Only one SPAG - 'ax'e. Despite that I thought it was an excellent poem. Good luck.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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I think that you have done extremely well to have told a whole story within the confines of 100 words. I also feel that there was good flow and rhythm to the poem, the rhymes weren't at all forced and the descriptions gave a chillingly accurate picture of what happened.
I also think that because it is a true story adds to the horror of the account you give. I like the thought you have given to how he might have been thinking after he had killed his sister.
Only one SPAG - 'ax'e. Despite that I thought it was an excellent poem. Good luck.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and your excellent comments. I spelled axe but my error correction on word changed it to ax. Maybe axe is an UK spelling?
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Lol. Blooming spell-checker programs! You'd laugh if you hear the times I curse them. Axe is the spelling I was taught, but as with other words - (colour, centre etc) different spellings are the norm. I think for the future I'll check authors nationalities beforehand, to avoid upsetting them unneccessarily.
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You didn't upset me. I thought it was supposed to be axe too and I'm not English.
Comment from write hand blue
This poem gets the story across well with
good visual. Showing good tone and balance.
A good contender for the contest. Good luck.
Regards Mel.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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This poem gets the story across well with
good visual. Showing good tone and balance.
A good contender for the contest. Good luck.
Regards Mel.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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Thank you so much Mel, I appreciate the review and nice comments.
Comment from Aveindha
blood brillian...if you will excuse the pun.
i love how you have given the reason behind the murder in such few words, we understand the persons demons and his sissters ove for him/ her, which eventully led to her demise.
loved the rhyme and rythym of this poem, extrememly well written.
thanks for an extrememly enjoyable poem
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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blood brillian...if you will excuse the pun.
i love how you have given the reason behind the murder in such few words, we understand the persons demons and his sissters ove for him/ her, which eventully led to her demise.
loved the rhyme and rythym of this poem, extrememly well written.
thanks for an extrememly enjoyable poem
Comment Written 05-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and the wonderful comments.
Comment from babylonia
Even with drugs of today there isn't always a guarantee that this won't happen. At least it might delay it and give her a chance to run LOL
Nicely done ... Good luck
Love,
Barbara
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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Even with drugs of today there isn't always a guarantee that this won't happen. At least it might delay it and give her a chance to run LOL
Nicely done ... Good luck
Love,
Barbara
Comment Written 05-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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Thank you Barbara, I appreciate the review and comments. You are right. Even with drugs, sometimes it is hard to get the peron who needs them to stay on them.
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That and the fact the government and it's race to cut budgets always cuts mental health first along with education. No one makes sure they get much needed help.
Love,
Barbara
Comment from J Patience
Well-worded, and chilling considering the truth in it. The rhythm and rhyme are flawless, words are spelled right, all-in-all a great feat accomplished. Now I'm going to go find a poem about happiness and puppies to make up for it.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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Well-worded, and chilling considering the truth in it. The rhythm and rhyme are flawless, words are spelled right, all-in-all a great feat accomplished. Now I'm going to go find a poem about happiness and puppies to make up for it.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2011
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Thank you so much for the review. Sorry if I ruined your day with the horror. I don't like horror either and most of my poems have happy thoughts but the contest was there so I thought I'd give it a try.
