Stand Strong
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Alive and Awake"Social pressures threaten a childhood friendship
87 total reviews
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
I know that voice. Could this really be happening?
Mara made a slow turn and found herself pulled into the orbit of dark-lashed, brown-eyed Gabe Sanders -- someone girls like Jujee called choice.
He's even more gorgeous up close. God, help me not to blow this!'
I love this mix of teen romance and Christian faith as a Christian myself. Well done fabulous writing I love it and look forward to reading more from you kindest regards and God bless love Meia xx
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2018
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I know that voice. Could this really be happening?
Mara made a slow turn and found herself pulled into the orbit of dark-lashed, brown-eyed Gabe Sanders -- someone girls like Jujee called choice.
He's even more gorgeous up close. God, help me not to blow this!'
I love this mix of teen romance and Christian faith as a Christian myself. Well done fabulous writing I love it and look forward to reading more from you kindest regards and God bless love Meia xx
Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2018
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Hi, Meia. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and really appreciate your support and great insights.
:) Bev
Comment from Alexander Vasa
The descriptions of your characters are woven so naturally into the story. I loved that aspect of your writing, and the two girls could have been me with my sister(s). I really enjoyed the read and I'm sure this would have a lot of appeal for a young audience. Ana.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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The descriptions of your characters are woven so naturally into the story. I loved that aspect of your writing, and the two girls could have been me with my sister(s). I really enjoyed the read and I'm sure this would have a lot of appeal for a young audience. Ana.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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Hi, Ana. Thank you so very much for reading. Your insights are very uplifting and most appreciated.
:) Bev
Comment from w.j.debi
Popularity is everything in high school, isn't it. And knowing your "friend" would rather be with others does hurt. I like how you gave that twist of hope for a better outcome at the end. Maybe Jujee will regret not hanging around. I hope Mara has a great time.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Popularity is everything in high school, isn't it. And knowing your "friend" would rather be with others does hurt. I like how you gave that twist of hope for a better outcome at the end. Maybe Jujee will regret not hanging around. I hope Mara has a great time.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thanks to her guardian angel, Mara manages to meet a great guy, new friend and have fun at the concert of her dreams.
I really appreciate this grand review, my friend. Thanks for the support.
:) Bev
Comment from Deborah Marie
Nice photo and chapter. Good rhythm, progression and flow. Love the photo. Characters are good too. Impressive imagery produced by nice descriptive words. Keep 'em coming, Deb
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2015
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Nice photo and chapter. Good rhythm, progression and flow. Love the photo. Characters are good too. Impressive imagery produced by nice descriptive words. Keep 'em coming, Deb
Comment Written 12-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2015
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Thanks so much for your great review, Deborah. :)
Comment from jaeladarling
So this is where Gabe comes in. Exciting when that cute boy decides to talk to you! :) Jujee sounds like a real piece of work. Can't wait to see where you take this frienship. Character development should be interesting. :)
Great work - looking forward to more!
A few suggestions:
"to respond, but stopped" (No comma)
"which they downloaded then excitedly shared with each other." (I think "and" would sound better than "then" here. Just an opinion.)
"without a thank you or, even, a goodbye," ("without a thank you or even a goodbye,")
"Of course, Jujee wants to be" (No comma)
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2015
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So this is where Gabe comes in. Exciting when that cute boy decides to talk to you! :) Jujee sounds like a real piece of work. Can't wait to see where you take this frienship. Character development should be interesting. :)
Great work - looking forward to more!
A few suggestions:
"to respond, but stopped" (No comma)
"which they downloaded then excitedly shared with each other." (I think "and" would sound better than "then" here. Just an opinion.)
"without a thank you or, even, a goodbye," ("without a thank you or even a goodbye,")
"Of course, Jujee wants to be" (No comma)
Comment Written 09-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2015
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Thanks for checking out this chapter, J. I appreciate your suggestions and review!
Comment from abbasjoy
Bev, this is a great post that flows well. The emotions are well expressed by the responses of each teen. Jujee obviously cares more about being popular than her friendship with Mara. Jujee is a typical "friend" who uses people, and her views and actions clearly cause Mara discomfort most times.
Mara is fighting against keeping their friendship and staying true to her parents' and her own values on things.
The end of this chapter seems as though there maybe a turn around for Mara. Hopefully this guy is one who will genuinely like Mara and help with her self esteem.
This is a very real story showing the struggles of a teen torn between her Christian values and the values of those around her who do not share her beliefs.
Great job!
Joan
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2015
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Bev, this is a great post that flows well. The emotions are well expressed by the responses of each teen. Jujee obviously cares more about being popular than her friendship with Mara. Jujee is a typical "friend" who uses people, and her views and actions clearly cause Mara discomfort most times.
Mara is fighting against keeping their friendship and staying true to her parents' and her own values on things.
The end of this chapter seems as though there maybe a turn around for Mara. Hopefully this guy is one who will genuinely like Mara and help with her self esteem.
This is a very real story showing the struggles of a teen torn between her Christian values and the values of those around her who do not share her beliefs.
Great job!
Joan
Comment Written 07-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2015
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Joan, thank you so much for this very gracious review. I really appreciate your insights into the plot line. That's always so helpful! XX Bev
Comment from juliesibs
This story is awesome. My boys went to all the Christian concerts and had so much fun. Mara trying to what's right and Jujee not so much is so real for today in high school. You have done a great job.
Julie
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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This story is awesome. My boys went to all the Christian concerts and had so much fun. Mara trying to what's right and Jujee not so much is so real for today in high school. You have done a great job.
Julie
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Hi, Juliesibs. Thanks so much for taking time to read my chapter. I really appreciate your gracious, and very encouraging, review. It's so wonderful that you encouraged your boys to attend the Chrisitian concerts. There is no one singing mainstream music that is any better than some of these bands or solo artists, in my mind. I listen to the music all the time and I am continuously amazed and inspired.
Much appreciated!
:) Bev
Comment from Zue65
I love the romance angle brewing at the end of this chapter. The setting and the character of Mara is quite fresh, a Christian young lady in a Christian rock concert left alone by Jujee is quite new and seldom explored y modern day writers who would rather focus on gory murders for the sake of shock value. I will look forward to the next chapter and find out how your story will go. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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I love the romance angle brewing at the end of this chapter. The setting and the character of Mara is quite fresh, a Christian young lady in a Christian rock concert left alone by Jujee is quite new and seldom explored y modern day writers who would rather focus on gory murders for the sake of shock value. I will look forward to the next chapter and find out how your story will go. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Thanks so much for this grand review! Mara's going to get into some serious situations because I want teens to be able to relate to her. But through it all, will be the love and support of her family and faith.
:) Bev
Comment from MissMerri
Outstanding writing... You have managed to bring Mara totally to life, and Jujee as well. Readers are compelled to sympathize with Mara, who is obviously a tender and insecure teen and who has chosen a friend who is not nearly as kind-hearted or caring as she is. The details you introduce about the characters are scattered neatly throughout the story and not dumped on us all at once. The editing, again, is first rate. I only saw one nit in the whole chapter:
***She executed a Google search. and tapped the screen for emphasis. (an accidental period appears in the middle of the sentence.)
You are a careful writer, and this is going to be a wonderful story, if the first two chapters are any indication. ;p So far, it is everything you could wish a story to be.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Outstanding writing... You have managed to bring Mara totally to life, and Jujee as well. Readers are compelled to sympathize with Mara, who is obviously a tender and insecure teen and who has chosen a friend who is not nearly as kind-hearted or caring as she is. The details you introduce about the characters are scattered neatly throughout the story and not dumped on us all at once. The editing, again, is first rate. I only saw one nit in the whole chapter:
***She executed a Google search. and tapped the screen for emphasis. (an accidental period appears in the middle of the sentence.)
You are a careful writer, and this is going to be a wonderful story, if the first two chapters are any indication. ;p So far, it is everything you could wish a story to be.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Hi, MissMerri. What a gracious and encouraging review. Thank you for taking time to read the chapter and for offering your very helpful insights! I'm really touched by the comments and reviews for this book. It's going to receive the best I know how to give, at this point, because the project is close to my heart. Thanks, too, for catching the spaggie :)
Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, this is so very authentic - poor kid. I think I'd forgotten just how intense the emotions can be when we're teenagers, but this sure feels so right as I read, Bev. Christian teens will identify with this strongly. There's not a doubt in my mind this protagonist is perfectly described - there are so many like her, and that Jujee!
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Wow, this is so very authentic - poor kid. I think I'd forgotten just how intense the emotions can be when we're teenagers, but this sure feels so right as I read, Bev. Christian teens will identify with this strongly. There's not a doubt in my mind this protagonist is perfectly described - there are so many like her, and that Jujee!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Dawn, thank you so much, my friend. Your review is just awesome and so very encouraging. Thank you for sharing your valuable insights and for your support!
Hugs, Bev
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You're so welcome, my friend.
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:))
