If The Jester Cried At Night
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Tales of Furniture and Folly"A collection of favourite poems by mrgrunty.
29 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Well Mrgrunty, (is that you) third person thing throws me...This is a poem filled with your humor, which I am getting to know quite well now. I would ask, however, What all the asterisks are for? Your images are very good. "lamp that turns on only when I dream." and "a mind that's quick to make up" Ok...good very good. Mastery.
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Well Mrgrunty, (is that you) third person thing throws me...This is a poem filled with your humor, which I am getting to know quite well now. I would ask, however, What all the asterisks are for? Your images are very good. "lamp that turns on only when I dream." and "a mind that's quick to make up" Ok...good very good. Mastery.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2005
Comment from joaozinho
I thought this piece was excellent. My only disappointment was with its brevity. This needs much more to complete. If it was only meant as a beginning, fine. Otherwise, there is more to this song. Much more. Yesterdays tend to lend many hours of heartache and joy.
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I thought this piece was excellent. My only disappointment was with its brevity. This needs much more to complete. If it was only meant as a beginning, fine. Otherwise, there is more to this song. Much more. Yesterdays tend to lend many hours of heartache and joy.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2005
Comment from Verbal Water
The best selling songs of all time have 3 things in common. They use simple plain words , they are short, and they have a good beat. As far as I can tell you have the first two parts of the equation in the bag. Great poem too. Hope it gets the lighter's flicking for you. Great work. Thanks for read.
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The best selling songs of all time have 3 things in common. They use simple plain words , they are short, and they have a good beat. As far as I can tell you have the first two parts of the equation in the bag. Great poem too. Hope it gets the lighter's flicking for you. Great work. Thanks for read.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2005
Comment from JudithPorter
Great work and I love the movement of this. I did sort of stop and question the 3rd line where it says ..... "picture on". Felt somewhat like that was an unfinished line. None-the-less, great work.
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Great work and I love the movement of this. I did sort of stop and question the 3rd line where it says ..... "picture on". Felt somewhat like that was an unfinished line. None-the-less, great work.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2005
Comment from Jewell McChesney
WOW!
THe more I read from you the more impressed I am!
This is awesome.. The imagry, the emotion the story.
Great stuff.
You keep on amazing me.
Don't stop writing!
Jj
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WOW!
THe more I read from you the more impressed I am!
This is awesome.. The imagry, the emotion the story.
Great stuff.
You keep on amazing me.
Don't stop writing!
Jj
Comment Written 07-Jan-2005
Comment from Mrs Jones
I like your verse and it has a lovely ring to it but there are a few punctuations errors I think..
.And anytime I, try to, open them I can't.
It's not that, I don't want to, but I don't believe.
And anytime I try to open them, I can't.
It's not that I don't want to, but, I don't believe. -and the same with the next verses.
And a mind that's quick to make up,
what it shouldn't see.
drop comma after up.
Cheers
Rose
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I like your verse and it has a lovely ring to it but there are a few punctuations errors I think..
.And anytime I, try to, open them I can't.
It's not that, I don't want to, but I don't believe.
And anytime I try to open them, I can't.
It's not that I don't want to, but, I don't believe. -and the same with the next verses.
And a mind that's quick to make up,
what it shouldn't see.
drop comma after up.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 07-Jan-2005
Comment from Caileigh
I think "onlyness" works well too. I like the poem, but it's hard to envision it as a song without hearing the music, and I'm not very good at making up tunes. It reads like it's meant to be a song. I didn't see any errors.
Some of the images seemed a bit cliche, like broken dreams etc. If you haven't spoiled me with so many poems even better than this, I might have given it a five, grin.
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I think "onlyness" works well too. I like the poem, but it's hard to envision it as a song without hearing the music, and I'm not very good at making up tunes. It reads like it's meant to be a song. I didn't see any errors.
Some of the images seemed a bit cliche, like broken dreams etc. If you haven't spoiled me with so many poems even better than this, I might have given it a five, grin.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2005
Comment from Shari_K
A great song ;-) I love your creative lines...cupboard full of yesterdays, a bed full of emptiness and could have beens...and especially your word "onlyness," a lot of imagination and very unique. One of a kind, some might say. Excellent song lyrics.
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A great song ;-) I love your creative lines...cupboard full of yesterdays, a bed full of emptiness and could have beens...and especially your word "onlyness," a lot of imagination and very unique. One of a kind, some might say. Excellent song lyrics.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2005
Comment from Lilyk
This is really great Grant. It's very fresh and I love th word play you have running through it. You always have an original voice and perspective in you}r work and this one is no exception.
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This is really great Grant. It's very fresh and I love th word play you have running through it. You always have an original voice and perspective in you}r work and this one is no exception.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2005
