Paranormal Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Weak Link"Case Studies of Hauntings
32 total reviews
Comment from Cheryl Daphine
This was a great chapter,I have sadly missed a few. That burn [?] would send me down the road without any need of suggestions.Where do you get all your info,to write so well on this subject? Very well written.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2011
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This was a great chapter,I have sadly missed a few. That burn [?] would send me down the road without any need of suggestions.Where do you get all your info,to write so well on this subject? Very well written.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2011
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Hi, DD. Thank you for taking time to read my chapter. I've had an interest in the paranormal for some time and have quite a library, so I get some good ideas from 'real-life' happenings. Your review is so generous and supportive and I really appreciate that. Kindest regards, Bev
Comment from Connie C
I think this might be my first chapter of reading this, Bev, and it's great. I want to read more!! I like paranormal stuff, and it looks like you like writing it. Since I'm picking up in the middle of this, your author's notes and background at the beginning helped. You do very well with dialogue, and setting the stage for your readers to want to read more. Keep up the good work, my friend; and I hope your Thanksgiving went well. xoxo Connie
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2011
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I think this might be my first chapter of reading this, Bev, and it's great. I want to read more!! I like paranormal stuff, and it looks like you like writing it. Since I'm picking up in the middle of this, your author's notes and background at the beginning helped. You do very well with dialogue, and setting the stage for your readers to want to read more. Keep up the good work, my friend; and I hope your Thanksgiving went well. xoxo Connie
Comment Written 24-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2011
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Hiya, Connie. Thanks so much for this lovely review of my chapter, especially in letting me know what worked for you in the story. That is always a great help! I appreciate your generosity and words of encouragement very much. Hugs, Bev
Comment from allborn66
This is a wonderful chapter. I like your characters, they are compelling. The dialogue is nice. The voice is good. I like the pacing.
Barbara
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2011
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This is a wonderful chapter. I like your characters, they are compelling. The dialogue is nice. The voice is good. I like the pacing.
Barbara
Comment Written 24-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2011
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Hi, Barbara. Thanks for your awesome review. I really appreciate the time you took to read it and offer your generous support. Blessings, Bev
Comment from Gungalo
Oh my, things are really taking on quite a change. This activity going on would prove it! But yikes, branded on her arm the letter "C"? Now that is getting quite personal.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Oh my, things are really taking on quite a change. This activity going on would prove it! But yikes, branded on her arm the letter "C"? Now that is getting quite personal.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Hi, Gungalo. Thanks so much for your time and interest in reviewing my chapter. Much appreciated! Warm regards, Bev
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It's getting interesting!!
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Thanks!
Comment from Bellringer
Bev, Another exciting installment brimming with supernatural occurrences. I like the pacing of this chapter--it moved along urgently and held my interest. The members of this team don't get paid enough to risk their lives and sanity. Have a great thanksgiving. Blessings, Hector
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Bev, Another exciting installment brimming with supernatural occurrences. I like the pacing of this chapter--it moved along urgently and held my interest. The members of this team don't get paid enough to risk their lives and sanity. Have a great thanksgiving. Blessings, Hector
Comment Written 24-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Hi, Hector. Thanks for taking time today to read my chapter and offer such encouragement! It's great to get such a thorough review and I appreciate your insights. Happy Thanksgiving to you also, my friend. Warmest regards, Bev
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You're very welcome, Bev. Blessings, Hector
Comment from Scribelle
The simultaneous action in each bedroom is well done. The sense of duelling ghosts holds my interest and works as an excellent vehicle for Mike to see how the women are. The difficulty he has entering the room, the mark on Emma's arm, all leave me wanting to read more...
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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The simultaneous action in each bedroom is well done. The sense of duelling ghosts holds my interest and works as an excellent vehicle for Mike to see how the women are. The difficulty he has entering the room, the mark on Emma's arm, all leave me wanting to read more...
Comment Written 24-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Hi, Scribelle. Thanks so much for taking time to read and review my chapter. I so appreciate the specific insights you offer, especially going forward. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from judiverse
Great reading, writingfundimension. The dialogue is short and conveys the urgency and fright the characters involved are feeling. The sulfuric odor and Mike's demonstration of his psychic ability add authenticity. The letter C burned on Emma's arm makes a suspenseful ending. Interesting to know that Tipsy Butler is a real inn. judi
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Great reading, writingfundimension. The dialogue is short and conveys the urgency and fright the characters involved are feeling. The sulfuric odor and Mike's demonstration of his psychic ability add authenticity. The letter C burned on Emma's arm makes a suspenseful ending. Interesting to know that Tipsy Butler is a real inn. judi
Comment Written 24-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Hiya, judi. Thanks so much for checking out my chapter. I'm glad you found it enjoyable! I really appreciate your personal insights - this is so helpful for future chapters - and your generosity. Warmest regards, Bev
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You're quite welcome, Bev. Reminds me of some old movies I've seen with people daring to stay in a haunted house. judi
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Bev
My kind of opening!
Straight into the ghostly action - capturing the reader's attention immediately.
The story told in brief paragraphs, moving at pace. Just a few words (in flash fiction style) to describe the locations.
Ends leaving the reader curious about the next installment.
Sorry, luv, my six stars have all gone.
Ron xox
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Hi Bev
My kind of opening!
Straight into the ghostly action - capturing the reader's attention immediately.
The story told in brief paragraphs, moving at pace. Just a few words (in flash fiction style) to describe the locations.
Ends leaving the reader curious about the next installment.
Sorry, luv, my six stars have all gone.
Ron xox
Comment Written 24-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Hi, Ron. Your influence is showing, my friend. I'm learning as I go with this and am so gratified at such wonderful support and great insights, Ron. That means more than any old six to me. Have a lovely day! Xxx Bev
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Have a great Thanksgiving sweet Bev. We don't have it over here. xox
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Thank you, Ron! xxx Bev
Comment from livingwords
Excellent chapter. Very fast paced, yet not rushed. A hard balance to maintain. I'm liking this even more the more I read the chapters. Good characters and plot line. Dan :))
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Excellent chapter. Very fast paced, yet not rushed. A hard balance to maintain. I'm liking this even more the more I read the chapters. Good characters and plot line. Dan :))
Comment Written 24-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Hi, Dan. Hey, thank you so much for stopping by to read my chapter and for your wonderful, supportive words. I am deeply appreciative of the encouragement. Have a lovely day! Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
This is getting better all the time. Such strong writing, Bev. Solid and so well-defined. It captures the reader and pulls them in.
Low voltage, recessed lights lined the carmel colored walls of the hallway casting a shadow off Mike's hoodie and giving the appearance he was being stalked by a hunchback. - Really great visual!
With each red-dot refusal to let him enter, his dread of what he would find escalated. - A great piece of showing- love it.
At first, all that was visible was a red, blistered area of skin roughly the diameter of a quarter. As they all watched, the area appeared to grow in size and a dark brown circle stood out from its center. Mike sucked in his breath sharply at the recognition of what they were seeing.
Emma's arm had been branded with the letter C.
YIKES! I'd be outta there so darn fast!
Should be a movie, or a tv show. Don't make me wait too long for the next one.
Av
x
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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This is getting better all the time. Such strong writing, Bev. Solid and so well-defined. It captures the reader and pulls them in.
Low voltage, recessed lights lined the carmel colored walls of the hallway casting a shadow off Mike's hoodie and giving the appearance he was being stalked by a hunchback. - Really great visual!
With each red-dot refusal to let him enter, his dread of what he would find escalated. - A great piece of showing- love it.
At first, all that was visible was a red, blistered area of skin roughly the diameter of a quarter. As they all watched, the area appeared to grow in size and a dark brown circle stood out from its center. Mike sucked in his breath sharply at the recognition of what they were seeing.
Emma's arm had been branded with the letter C.
YIKES! I'd be outta there so darn fast!
Should be a movie, or a tv show. Don't make me wait too long for the next one.
Av
x
Comment Written 24-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2011
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Av, you have just made my week. I am so appreciative of the generous amount of time you've taken in letting me know your insights into the story - they are so helpful - and for your continued support. I went back to your latest post a couple of times to get me back on track with the dialogue writing...you do it so beautifully. Your generosity rating is icing on the cake, my friend. Warmest regards, Bev
