Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Part two, Chapter 13"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
64 total reviews
Comment from dbmccarter
You know I hadn't thought of the aftermath. Even though things are turning out well, a lot of damage was done. I am glad you put in about the therapy. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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You know I hadn't thought of the aftermath. Even though things are turning out well, a lot of damage was done. I am glad you put in about the therapy. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from gypsynet
this page expresses denial on anna's part that she doesn;t need help and is not responsible for the abuse... a good storyline that may somehow bring some kind of unfolding or transformation on anna's part.. great flow of event with striling dialogues to send the message off... nice job!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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this page expresses denial on anna's part that she doesn;t need help and is not responsible for the abuse... a good storyline that may somehow bring some kind of unfolding or transformation on anna's part.. great flow of event with striling dialogues to send the message off... nice job!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nora arjuna
Hi Barb, I guess it's tough to be rid of all the awful incidents. But the nice guy is there and I look forward to the romance. :)
Some suggestions:
Anna released a deep breath(,) before she and Troy entered the red-brick building. Inside[,] Troy led her up a flight of stairs - delete the 1st comma and insert the 2nd.
Troy checked the number on an open door, before he stopped. - try:
Troy paused before an open door and checked the number on it.
"I'll wait in the car." Before [he] left, [he] stood outside the door - replace the 2nd 'he' with his name.
Finally entering, he paused and heard sniffling. - He decided to enter and paused when he heard some sniffling.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Hi Barb, I guess it's tough to be rid of all the awful incidents. But the nice guy is there and I look forward to the romance. :)
Some suggestions:
Anna released a deep breath(,) before she and Troy entered the red-brick building. Inside[,] Troy led her up a flight of stairs - delete the 1st comma and insert the 2nd.
Troy checked the number on an open door, before he stopped. - try:
Troy paused before an open door and checked the number on it.
"I'll wait in the car." Before [he] left, [he] stood outside the door - replace the 2nd 'he' with his name.
Finally entering, he paused and heard sniffling. - He decided to enter and paused when he heard some sniffling.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2011
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Sorry it took me so long to thank you for your review. I wanted to make sure I had the time to make the corrections.
Comment from Chris Tee
This is another interesting part we have here Barbara old sport.
It depicts the emotions of Anna excellently.
Well done with this splendid work here ma'am.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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This is another interesting part we have here Barbara old sport.
It depicts the emotions of Anna excellently.
Well done with this splendid work here ma'am.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rama Rao
Excellent. The story is moving forward briskly and keeps us absorbed. It's written immaculately without any spags, almost.
However, most of the sentences, although peppery and to the point are short. You may consider varying the length of some of them.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Excellent. The story is moving forward briskly and keeps us absorbed. It's written immaculately without any spags, almost.
However, most of the sentences, although peppery and to the point are short. You may consider varying the length of some of them.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janie King
What an exciting Thanksgiving this should be..nothing better than being with a loving family. This is a good piece. It boggles my mind how these people make the one they're beating that if they were a better they wouldn't get beat. God bless,
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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What an exciting Thanksgiving this should be..nothing better than being with a loving family. This is a good piece. It boggles my mind how these people make the one they're beating that if they were a better they wouldn't get beat. God bless,
Comment Written 20-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
Chapter forty-one is wonderfully written. Anna meets with a councilor and realizes she wasn't to blame for her exes abusive treatment of her. Thank God she had a breakthrough. I loved this terrific chapter. Your descriptive writing is excellent. Your dialogue is great in your chapter. I'd recomment this chapter to other readers. I have to cut this shirt my charge running down on my I-Pod Touch. Keep on writing top notch chapters, my friend. Please have a blessed Thanksgiving and a marvelous Monday. Are you off this week at school for the holidays? Are your and your family doing Thanksgiving? Love ya...Melissa.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Barbara,
Chapter forty-one is wonderfully written. Anna meets with a councilor and realizes she wasn't to blame for her exes abusive treatment of her. Thank God she had a breakthrough. I loved this terrific chapter. Your descriptive writing is excellent. Your dialogue is great in your chapter. I'd recomment this chapter to other readers. I have to cut this shirt my charge running down on my I-Pod Touch. Keep on writing top notch chapters, my friend. Please have a blessed Thanksgiving and a marvelous Monday. Are you off this week at school for the holidays? Are your and your family doing Thanksgiving? Love ya...Melissa.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sweet Anita
I love the way the story is moving along and Anna is trusting and leaning on Troy... also that she's realizing that an abusive husband doesn't need a reason to bully his wife. You are teaching a good lesson along with your interesting story that women need to know. Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Nita :-)
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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I love the way the story is moving along and Anna is trusting and leaning on Troy... also that she's realizing that an abusive husband doesn't need a reason to bully his wife. You are teaching a good lesson along with your interesting story that women need to know. Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Nita :-)
Comment Written 20-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Piggies Grandma
I enjoyed reading your poem barbara. It is cleverly written and very well thought out. This is another very good chapter for your story.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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I enjoyed reading your poem barbara. It is cleverly written and very well thought out. This is another very good chapter for your story.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JW
This is a very beautifully written chapter. It's also extremely realistic. One can easily picture the scene before them, and for many, I am sure they will understand the intense emotion.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2011
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This is a very beautifully written chapter. It's also extremely realistic. One can easily picture the scene before them, and for many, I am sure they will understand the intense emotion.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 20-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
