In Time of Need
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Where Love Awaits"My book of prayers and musings in time of need.
8 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent use of abcb rhyme
good flow to your lines
you express well how people can have a crisis of faith when their prayers are not answered with the answer they expected and hoped for
good use of enjambment from one stanza to another
I like your turn near the end about questioning your own loss
I have long thought about what people expect of God - they know everyone dies, that millions of people get diseases or suffer in other ways, and for years they believe in God, knowing these things, until the death or disease or other problem hits home, and then they somehow thought they would be excluded, the world's first exception to the fact everyone dies...
Brooke
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2011
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Excellent use of abcb rhyme
good flow to your lines
you express well how people can have a crisis of faith when their prayers are not answered with the answer they expected and hoped for
good use of enjambment from one stanza to another
I like your turn near the end about questioning your own loss
I have long thought about what people expect of God - they know everyone dies, that millions of people get diseases or suffer in other ways, and for years they believe in God, knowing these things, until the death or disease or other problem hits home, and then they somehow thought they would be excluded, the world's first exception to the fact everyone dies...
Brooke
Comment Written 17-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2011
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thank you so much Brooke for leaving such a detailed review. It's hard to except the death of a loved one, I imagine many of us go through that questioning stage.
Comment from Judian James
It's my mom's birthday is today. I lost her on July 4th, 2004, so this was a very fitting piece to find this morning
JL. I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard, isn't it?
From "I asked him once" through those three verses, I found particularly real and conveyed the test to one's faith we all face at one time or another. Good enjambment and palpable emotion throughout. I actually feel the piece has more impact without that final, single line which seems superfluous to me. excellent poem. perfectly metered
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2011
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It's my mom's birthday is today. I lost her on July 4th, 2004, so this was a very fitting piece to find this morning
JL. I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard, isn't it?
From "I asked him once" through those three verses, I found particularly real and conveyed the test to one's faith we all face at one time or another. Good enjambment and palpable emotion throughout. I actually feel the piece has more impact without that final, single line which seems superfluous to me. excellent poem. perfectly metered
Comment Written 17-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2011
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Yes it is very hard indeed. I know my Stephen lost his mom 3 years ago and its still very hard on him at times, I guess it's just one of those things we never really get over. Thanks for the stop by, always good to hear from you.
Comment from Jewell McChesney
Vert beautiful, lovely lady!
Losing a parent changes our lives so much.
This is a great release onto the page. Sending my love~
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2011
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Vert beautiful, lovely lady!
Losing a parent changes our lives so much.
This is a great release onto the page. Sending my love~
Comment Written 17-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2011
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Thank you, Jewell, always good to hear from you.
Comment from mrgrunty
Hey sweet thing!
I don't think I've seen anything like this before from you. It has a bare honesty that as you know appeals to my own voice. It flows fantastically from start to finish with no filler to limp along. A wonderful, coherent, heartfelt and real read for me the readerer.
I love that the language used is simplistic but evokes the deep emotion used in creating this ode.
Great write Jo!!
hugs
Grant xx
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2011
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Hey sweet thing!
I don't think I've seen anything like this before from you. It has a bare honesty that as you know appeals to my own voice. It flows fantastically from start to finish with no filler to limp along. A wonderful, coherent, heartfelt and real read for me the readerer.
I love that the language used is simplistic but evokes the deep emotion used in creating this ode.
Great write Jo!!
hugs
Grant xx
Comment Written 16-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2011
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Thanks Grant, so good to hear from you, we don't stay in touch near enough. Love ya, JL
Comment from sgalletti
This heartfelt poem means so much to me! I lost my own father three years ago and it seems like yesterday. You have described his last days well. Fortunately, he was able to pass away, peacefully, at home under hospice care. I lost my mother, the love of his life, when she was only 44 years old. I truly believe my father looked forward to being with her in Heaven again. Thanks you for sharing your thoughts. Sue
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2011
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This heartfelt poem means so much to me! I lost my own father three years ago and it seems like yesterday. You have described his last days well. Fortunately, he was able to pass away, peacefully, at home under hospice care. I lost my mother, the love of his life, when she was only 44 years old. I truly believe my father looked forward to being with her in Heaven again. Thanks you for sharing your thoughts. Sue
Comment Written 16-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much for sharing your story and the very caring review. I think Heaven is indeed a place they look forward to for whatever the reasons.
Comment from mumsyone
An excellent poem, in form, rhyme and meter, and message. It's easy to see that you're working your way through the loss of your father and that you will find peace in the end. God bless you as you seek comfort and peace.
of all belief in "Miracles are real(.)".
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2011
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An excellent poem, in form, rhyme and meter, and message. It's easy to see that you're working your way through the loss of your father and that you will find peace in the end. God bless you as you seek comfort and peace.
of all belief in "Miracles are real(.)".
Comment Written 16-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2011
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Thank you, I really appreciate the time you took to read and review
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, dawn of tomorrow, a great job writing this poem about the faith you lost from your father's death, beautiful and poignant words you have written
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2011
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this is very well written, dawn of tomorrow, a great job writing this poem about the faith you lost from your father's death, beautiful and poignant words you have written
Comment Written 16-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2011
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Thank you, I really appreciate the time you took to read and review
Comment from Maureen's Pen
This was so beautiful and yet filled with your loss. There was great insight and wisdom within your lines.
All the answers are within you, so the path you walk now with questions then seeking answers....just look within your own spirit and soul. The eternal within yourself....and you'll find the answers and the peace.
Great work here my friend.
Thank you for sharing this deep part of you.
Maureen
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2011
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This was so beautiful and yet filled with your loss. There was great insight and wisdom within your lines.
All the answers are within you, so the path you walk now with questions then seeking answers....just look within your own spirit and soul. The eternal within yourself....and you'll find the answers and the peace.
Great work here my friend.
Thank you for sharing this deep part of you.
Maureen
Comment Written 16-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2011
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Thank you, Maureen, I really appreciate your very caring words of review. I shall take them to heart.
