Cry for my Beloved wife
Divorce tears into shreds our humaness.70 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, keyym, a great job writing this series of 5 7 5 poems about the death of a marriage that the cause is obscure, i enjoyed reading it. good luck
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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this is very well written, keyym, a great job writing this series of 5 7 5 poems about the death of a marriage that the cause is obscure, i enjoyed reading it. good luck
Comment Written 10-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind words
Comment from percival86jack
I sit here lonely
days bliss unknown anymore
Badly torn to shreds
A final sad result where there are no winners. Very sad... cheers, Jack
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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I sit here lonely
days bliss unknown anymore
Badly torn to shreds
A final sad result where there are no winners. Very sad... cheers, Jack
Comment Written 10-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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True Jack True..no winners
Comment from Annie28
One has to be in the character to portray the sadness in a poem. It's an art. The theme is nice and the message is clear. I liked the shade of blue in this poem.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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One has to be in the character to portray the sadness in a poem. It's an art. The theme is nice and the message is clear. I liked the shade of blue in this poem.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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Though four star is your final rating..well it is lucky i got that.Thanks annie
Comment from Piggies Grandma
Your poem is cleverly written and very well thought out keyym. Divorce is horrible for all involved it affects everyone. Marriage takes work from both sides.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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Your poem is cleverly written and very well thought out keyym. Divorce is horrible for all involved it affects everyone. Marriage takes work from both sides.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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Thanks for your kind comment.I agree marriage is work but few seldom roll their sleeve and call it so they consider it an excursion.Thanks.
Comment from WilliamDeen
Your poem, Cry for my Beloved wife, is so sad. NO one wins in a divorce, especially not the kids. Divorce can tear the heart away. It is the same as a death, just the death of a family.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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Your poem, Cry for my Beloved wife, is so sad. NO one wins in a divorce, especially not the kids. Divorce can tear the heart away. It is the same as a death, just the death of a family.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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I agree though i wanted to express pain that i felt when i went hrough the process it surly is heartrending.
Comment from rchitwood
Divorce is such a horrid thing to go through I saw my parents go through this pain.Your poem has strong emotional images and smooth line flow.Your photo compliments your poem well.Blessings Rita
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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Divorce is such a horrid thing to go through I saw my parents go through this pain.Your poem has strong emotional images and smooth line flow.Your photo compliments your poem well.Blessings Rita
Comment Written 09-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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Thanks Rita.I agree.It is not easy as some soaps want to imply..thanks
Comment from c_lucas
Sometimes one must stop and regroup, then move forward in life. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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Sometimes one must stop and regroup, then move forward in life. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2011
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Great that is welcome.Encouraging too.
Comment from tj_lassiter
First and foremost the rhythm. I have no idea how long it took you to get this swaying, "now what do I do?" rhythm to work, but it is soooooo right. Then the choice of words, simple, home and family bound, they envelope the meaning of the best marriages. And they aren't only simple -- the images are complex. The last one "countless grief at war with my mind" captures exactly what an overwhelming emotion does to your need to work to plan to go on -- but, the last, resting, verse says, "lonely,...days Bliss badly torn to shreds." This is what I aspire to in all my work. Thank you. Does it need work? I suppose we can all do better work. But whatever someone more knowledgable than I might find, I wept.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2011
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First and foremost the rhythm. I have no idea how long it took you to get this swaying, "now what do I do?" rhythm to work, but it is soooooo right. Then the choice of words, simple, home and family bound, they envelope the meaning of the best marriages. And they aren't only simple -- the images are complex. The last one "countless grief at war with my mind" captures exactly what an overwhelming emotion does to your need to work to plan to go on -- but, the last, resting, verse says, "lonely,...days Bliss badly torn to shreds." This is what I aspire to in all my work. Thank you. Does it need work? I suppose we can all do better work. But whatever someone more knowledgable than I might find, I wept.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2011
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My goodness.What a christmas gift! that rating.I wish it transform to dollars i would have upgraded fast.It is work i tell you but mostly a gift perhaps.I thank you for your encouragement.Of course i have Shirley31 to thank for counting the syllables for me i almost did not get it right.Blessings.
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You are welcome.
Comment from xena465
A sad truth Keyym
Sometimes divorce can be as tragic as a death in the family, because things are never the same when all is lost with change of circumstances amid family.
Very well portrayed, just one wee suggestion with the punctuation to perhaps reconsider amending some of it, e.g.
"this my wife n kids" The "n" to punctuate it to indicate that it's abbreviated. Just want to help xxx
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2011
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A sad truth Keyym
Sometimes divorce can be as tragic as a death in the family, because things are never the same when all is lost with change of circumstances amid family.
Very well portrayed, just one wee suggestion with the punctuation to perhaps reconsider amending some of it, e.g.
"this my wife n kids" The "n" to punctuate it to indicate that it's abbreviated. Just want to help xxx
Comment Written 09-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2011
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Thank you for help..i will do that right away.
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Hi Keyym
I read your edit and I'm honoured that you took my advice and this line reads much better. However, you forgot to change line 11, which also has an "n"...
"Thoughts n fears suddenly piles". I couldn't find a way to do another comment on your poem, so I thought I could help this way. Big Hugs dear friend xxx
Comment from laren
A beautiful poem, haiku writing technique he describes the story of a great love, followed by a divorce and the devastation left behind.
Congratulations!
Laren
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2011
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A beautiful poem, haiku writing technique he describes the story of a great love, followed by a divorce and the devastation left behind.
Congratulations!
Laren
Comment Written 09-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2011
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Welcome Laren.I am happy now.
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I'm happy for you too, thank you for sharing,
Laren
