Cry for my Beloved wife
Divorce tears into shreds our humaness.70 total reviews
Comment from Cedar
This is an excellent combination of several 5/7/5's put together. Normally, 5/7/5's only consist of 3 lines only.
You have several, which makes it very unusual. Your syllable count in each one is perfect. You have written an entire poem with a great message. I wish you good luck and welcome to this site. Bill
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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This is an excellent combination of several 5/7/5's put together. Normally, 5/7/5's only consist of 3 lines only.
You have several, which makes it very unusual. Your syllable count in each one is perfect. You have written an entire poem with a great message. I wish you good luck and welcome to this site. Bill
Comment Written 12-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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Thanks Bill
Comment from judy corcoran
this sounds not really true to life to me as it seems he had no idea -
the poem seems to read to me that he went to work and she was gone when he got home
and i think he would have had some inkling
lol - unless he went to work and didn't come home for a few months...
aside from the fact that it didn't ring true to me and therefore a little of the impact was lost
this is still a very powerful write
excellent word choice throughout to convey confusion and pain
especially
'Years succeed sadness
pain begets the countless grief
At war with my mind
....I sit here lonely
days bliss unknown anymore
Badly torn to shreds'
thanks for sharing
love judy
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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this sounds not really true to life to me as it seems he had no idea -
the poem seems to read to me that he went to work and she was gone when he got home
and i think he would have had some inkling
lol - unless he went to work and didn't come home for a few months...
aside from the fact that it didn't ring true to me and therefore a little of the impact was lost
this is still a very powerful write
excellent word choice throughout to convey confusion and pain
especially
'Years succeed sadness
pain begets the countless grief
At war with my mind
....I sit here lonely
days bliss unknown anymore
Badly torn to shreds'
thanks for sharing
love judy
Comment Written 12-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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It is true it happened to me.She was gone the same day i left.it is true
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Ideally, one should remain in love and married forever. Sometimes it works out that way. How tragic that the poet seems to not have had a clue that things were going wrong. Well written. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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Ideally, one should remain in love and married forever. Sometimes it works out that way. How tragic that the poet seems to not have had a clue that things were going wrong. Well written. :) Nancy
Comment Written 12-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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I like that..The poet had no clue
Comment from jamma
Well said. This poem is so very sad. I'm sorry for your loss. I think this poem should do well in the contest. Good luck to you. Nice job. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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Well said. This poem is so very sad. I'm sorry for your loss. I think this poem should do well in the contest. Good luck to you. Nice job. Keep writing.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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I am praying they will consider it
Comment from RKagan
I have a very good friend who is going through a divorce. She tells me it is as hard as a death. Your poem is filled with honest and heartbreaking emotion. It is well written and reads beautifully aloud.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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I have a very good friend who is going through a divorce. She tells me it is as hard as a death. Your poem is filled with honest and heartbreaking emotion. It is well written and reads beautifully aloud.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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thanks
Comment from RuralFrights
A sixer for certain. Your couplet-like phrases tied together with excellent alliteration. A great example of a free-verse poem. FYI, so many readers hearts are touched, so they rate a six, without considering the poetic "personality"...rhyme/meter/alliteration. A sixer is when BOTH are in tact....
Blessings
Tommy
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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A sixer for certain. Your couplet-like phrases tied together with excellent alliteration. A great example of a free-verse poem. FYI, so many readers hearts are touched, so they rate a six, without considering the poetic "personality"...rhyme/meter/alliteration. A sixer is when BOTH are in tact....
Blessings
Tommy
Comment Written 12-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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Thanks for such a gift.A six rating is a blessing.Thanks so much
Comment from ameen786
keyym my friend, a heart-wrenching verse that you penned with vivid imagery of the grief accompanied with any divorce, it is said that among many things that displeases God, the most displeasing is a divorce. Thanks for sharing and please take care, God bless.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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keyym my friend, a heart-wrenching verse that you penned with vivid imagery of the grief accompanied with any divorce, it is said that among many things that displeases God, the most displeasing is a divorce. Thanks for sharing and please take care, God bless.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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Thanks to you
Comment from Eleanor Buron
I can feel the pain through the last stanzas of the poem. Divorce is a terrible thing. The beginning is generally uplifting until the sudden and bleak fifth stanza. You do a nice job with the descriptive details and you use vivid imagery to get your message across. Although the poem is sad, it handles the reality of divorce in a truthful manner.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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I can feel the pain through the last stanzas of the poem. Divorce is a terrible thing. The beginning is generally uplifting until the sudden and bleak fifth stanza. You do a nice job with the descriptive details and you use vivid imagery to get your message across. Although the poem is sad, it handles the reality of divorce in a truthful manner.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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Your kind remarks appreciated.
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You're welcome. Elly
Comment from KalleeMerra
I can empathize with you. No matter how necessary divorce is never a nice thing and it leaves pain that just doesn't go away very easily. nice work.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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I can empathize with you. No matter how necessary divorce is never a nice thing and it leaves pain that just doesn't go away very easily. nice work.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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True that.Thanks
Comment from pattipac
Your poem speaks of how your heart-ache and desolation at losing your wife and family. Lack of communication and willingness on one or both parties part, plus the eagerness of lawyers compound the problem. Sorry for your loss. Hopefully, things will get better next year. Hang in there.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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Your poem speaks of how your heart-ache and desolation at losing your wife and family. Lack of communication and willingness on one or both parties part, plus the eagerness of lawyers compound the problem. Sorry for your loss. Hopefully, things will get better next year. Hang in there.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2011
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It will.it must and thanks all the same.
