Dog
A dog alone...34 total reviews
Comment from Cheryl Daphine
Good story Susan. I hate a dog fight, when it's demonic it would even be worse. Very sad that Dog had to die, I was ready to go look for him,never have seen a wild thing I couldn't tame, that's why that Morgan stallion about killed me once, and the feral cat scratched the paint off mom's wall and ceiling,and I could go on for a long time. One day I'll figure it out.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2011
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Good story Susan. I hate a dog fight, when it's demonic it would even be worse. Very sad that Dog had to die, I was ready to go look for him,never have seen a wild thing I couldn't tame, that's why that Morgan stallion about killed me once, and the feral cat scratched the paint off mom's wall and ceiling,and I could go on for a long time. One day I'll figure it out.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2011
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GOOD Heavens!! Seriously??? You should write about these things!!! Don't try to figure it out, write it out! Wow!! How interesting a life you've had Daph. Still love that name. ") And you for all your support and kind notes...Susan
Comment from Rama Rao
A short story posted under the genre thriller and horror. All that it contained was a fight between the dog and a beast. There was not much of horror or thrill in it.
Secondly,the following merit editing.
1.One ear moved to... this should be followed by the other ear...
2.Do dogs have fangs?
3.higher limbs- branches
4. As he lay dying, he had no thoughts coming and he accepted his defeat. (thoughts coming doesn't sound right anyway)
5.sharpened,
it too, growled cut comma here.
beast, and met it- cut the comma here.
silence returned, and one stood tall.
trepidation, but- cut the comma here.
rival, and walked away-cut the comma here.
You are now at #4 rank and can't afford to have mistakes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2011
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A short story posted under the genre thriller and horror. All that it contained was a fight between the dog and a beast. There was not much of horror or thrill in it.
Secondly,the following merit editing.
1.One ear moved to... this should be followed by the other ear...
2.Do dogs have fangs?
3.higher limbs- branches
4. As he lay dying, he had no thoughts coming and he accepted his defeat. (thoughts coming doesn't sound right anyway)
5.sharpened,
it too, growled cut comma here.
beast, and met it- cut the comma here.
silence returned, and one stood tall.
trepidation, but- cut the comma here.
rival, and walked away-cut the comma here.
You are now at #4 rank and can't afford to have mistakes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2011
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HI Ramarao! I have reworked this considerably, as per your review...branches, much better, and I changed the 'no thoughts' also the ending. And the sentence about the ear. But dogs do have fangs, indeed. I also like subtle horror sometimes...it can be affective/effective as well. I still have things to learn...as you can see! lol!! ") It's always nice to hear from you...susan
Comment from N.K. Wagner
A well described scene of an animal (wolf?) protecting its territory from a ferrel dog. Using the blue jay as a disinterested witness is a really nice touch. Well done, Susan. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2011
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A well described scene of an animal (wolf?) protecting its territory from a ferrel dog. Using the blue jay as a disinterested witness is a really nice touch. Well done, Susan. :) Nancy
Comment Written 29-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2011
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Hi Nancy! Thank you very much. I had to work on this...per a review...but am so happy you approve. It means a lot to me...oxox!! Susan
Comment from missy98writer
Susan,
you are trying to scare me to death. LOL. I loved your horror flash fiction. You poem is cleverly written. Your narrative is too cool. Dog learned to be cruel from his rough life. The art work is horrific you used. Survival of the fittest is natures way. I enjoyed this hard look at nature. In just 348 word you effectively managed to establish a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. I'd recommend this flash fiction to other readers. You are doing a tremendous job writing flash fiction, my friend. Please have a superb weekend. Love ya...Melissa!
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2011
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Susan,
you are trying to scare me to death. LOL. I loved your horror flash fiction. You poem is cleverly written. Your narrative is too cool. Dog learned to be cruel from his rough life. The art work is horrific you used. Survival of the fittest is natures way. I enjoyed this hard look at nature. In just 348 word you effectively managed to establish a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. I'd recommend this flash fiction to other readers. You are doing a tremendous job writing flash fiction, my friend. Please have a superb weekend. Love ya...Melissa!
Comment Written 29-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2011
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Hi Melissa! No, I don't want to scare you that bad Missy!! I think too much of you. LOL! BUT, it's neat that you got creeped out. ") I always love when you count for me! I don't know how to use this thing all the way just yet....someday. Thanks again my friend! You have a good weekend too! LOVE, susan
Comment from Dave M
Susan,
This is an excellent story about a powerful dog who met his match. No one should mess with a demon.
I enjoyed this Halloween read and found nothing to criticize.
Dave
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Susan,
This is an excellent story about a powerful dog who met his match. No one should mess with a demon.
I enjoyed this Halloween read and found nothing to criticize.
Dave
Comment Written 28-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Hi Dave!! I just had to do something with that picture!! IT's great! THOSE fangs! "What big teeth you have, grandmother..." LOL! Thank you Dave! I hope you and yours have a happy and safe Halloween!! Susan
Comment from Ted T
Hi Susan :)
Gotta give you a "Sixer" and a virtual "Twelver" your piece is richly written as a narrative tale.
I loved the feeling of the story.
I didn't catch any SPAG or "nits" good job.
Ted
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Hi Susan :)
Gotta give you a "Sixer" and a virtual "Twelver" your piece is richly written as a narrative tale.
I loved the feeling of the story.
I didn't catch any SPAG or "nits" good job.
Ted
Comment Written 28-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Hi Ted! Thank you very much! I couldn't resist that picture! VERY eerie artwork! I am surprised you didn't say this was too dark! ") A special hug and heartfelt smile Ted!! Susan
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Hi :)
You're welcome. The story is dark in a different way, it's not depressing.
Ted
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You're a sweetheart...s.
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Thank you, I call 'em as I see 'em.
Ted
Comment from forestport12
Sorry to see that good dog go down. You painted a vivid portrait, somber, and believably real in a scary unfair kind of world.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Sorry to see that good dog go down. You painted a vivid portrait, somber, and believably real in a scary unfair kind of world.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Hi Stan! Thank you! I will try to be more positive after Halloween? Maybe...lol! Thank you very much for reviewing this...it was a spur of the moment thing, I had to put something to that picture! Wow!! Happy Happy Halloween, just for fun! ") Susan
Comment from livingwords
You are truly one of the best writers on the site. This post is worthy of a six, but, I admit, I was also influenced by a deep rooted need to give your work a six whenever I can, because there have been several times I was short and regretful. Great job, again. Dan :))
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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You are truly one of the best writers on the site. This post is worthy of a six, but, I admit, I was also influenced by a deep rooted need to give your work a six whenever I can, because there have been several times I was short and regretful. Great job, again. Dan :))
Comment Written 28-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Wow, Dan. WOW! Coming from you this is super nice! Thank you so very much...you and the others have just made my evening...this picture inspired this so well, and I wrote this in minutes just for Halloween! Such fun. I love scary stuff. Many don't tho...gee, Dan...thank you with all my heart for these words of encouragement. HUG! Susan
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I just realized your ranking is number four and could catch and surpass me. Therefore, please disregard all my comments. I will be giving you one star ratings from now on! LOL. Dan :))
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") You're onery! I was up to second for a while! I remember when you started here, I think...your work was very good and I told you once, you and Lee both, that you would catch me! ") You passed me long ago! ")) Happy Halloween Dan! Watch the shadows! ") S.
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:)) Somehow, the system works, but when u get to 2 or 20 or 60, ur in the same saddle, the difference beyond that is irrelevant. Bottom line, I take back my retraction. Tee-hee. Dan :))
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") It's all fun, I always appreciate my friends...Thank you again Dan. You're the best! Suse
Comment from sasil
Even animals aren't safe on Halloween. Chilling tale of nature battling the supernatural...great characterization and backstory-not too much to detract from the story--just enough to build the pov/perspective of the canine competitor. Well done, Suze.
S.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Even animals aren't safe on Halloween. Chilling tale of nature battling the supernatural...great characterization and backstory-not too much to detract from the story--just enough to build the pov/perspective of the canine competitor. Well done, Suze.
S.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Hi Lisa!! I'm thrilled to see you here! ")) Thank you so! I had to put a story to that art...or photo, it's very good. I would die if I met that in the woods! WHOA! TEETH! ")) HUGS and love!! Susan
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Agree with you 100%
Comment from Spitfire
Wow! What a powerful little piece. Vivid descriptions. One misspelled word: duel to the death. What makes this so good is the contrast between the violence if the huge beasts on the ground and the small bird squawking above. Great last line. I personally would delete "simply" which weakens the statement.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Wow! What a powerful little piece. Vivid descriptions. One misspelled word: duel to the death. What makes this so good is the contrast between the violence if the huge beasts on the ground and the small bird squawking above. Great last line. I personally would delete "simply" which weakens the statement.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2011
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Hi Shari! I fixed the spelling error! Thank you! I'm so honored when you approve! ")) I really am, and will look at 'simply' too. I can't decide?? HUGS and a big smile! Susan
