Reviews from

Pain

This is reality

42 total reviews 
Comment from Gungalo
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Life certainly is not easy for one alone and in NYC. The price he pays is his and it is never pretty. Ask any New York detective. So sad.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2011
    Hugs and a special thank you Gungalo...yes, this is a rather common thing, especially in big cities...I almost became a statistic so long ago. I never stooped to prostitution, but was homeless for a time. NOT good. Thank you again! Suse
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very powerful piece of writing. It has a lot to say. I know in my heart if he'd gone home his mother would have taken him back.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2011
    Hi Barb...thank you! I thought about 'saving' him...but I get bored and like to move to another subject? I need to stop being that way..."/ xoxo, susan
Comment from Cheryl Daphine
Excellent
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Yes this was real and all to often the truth. God I wish I had money and guts,I'd go to N.Y.,and start a home for kids,and some that aren't still kids.You told it just as it is,in a moment like that a kid does scream out for Mom,if they were ever lucky enough to have had one. Gruesome,well told story Realist.

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
    Thank you Daph....You have a great idea. I wonder if there are any shelters there, ?, I should research it. Sometimes, the world overwhelms me in its cruelty. Do you ever wish you were 'God' just for a day, so that you could save the world? I do. And I get chastised for it too. I guess I don't understand. Thank you again, and maybe we will win a billion dollars so we could do this. I would join you in building shelters in all cities. HOW sad, that we can hand TRILLIONS to wallstreet, while people suffer on the mean streets. I get so mad. xoxo, suse
reply by Cheryl Daphine on 15-Oct-2011
    Yes I would love it for a day.Its a plan:)
Comment from Kingsland
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am so sorry to say that things like this happen in reality. This was a well written story that has a good emotional feel to its story plot. This was a well written story and this was my pleasure to have read and written this response for... John

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
    Yes, and I get so angry...we can bail out wallstreet, but not do much for the ones in real need in this country...oh!!!! But, thank you John, your kind review is greatly appreciated...susan
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You are right. Life is not good for everyone as so many young people who want their own rules find out the hard way. You story is intense and well written and very sad because I have to know this is the life so many live while wishing they could go home again, but believing it is too late.

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
    Hi Beth! Thank you for reading this...I have been homeless, tho not a prostitute...but I know the horror of the cold, the gnawing of an empty stomach and fear of people you don't know. SO sad, how we can bail out wallstreet and leave the homeless without even a cardboard box. I get so furious...well, anyway, thank you dear friend...xoxo, susan
Comment from Bellringer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Susan, Your raw flash fiction was exceptionally well written. You effectively communicated this young person's physical and emotional pain. Excellent twist in the end. Though this is fiction, it is based on daily tragedies in cities around the world. Regards, Hector

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
    Hi Hector! Thank you so much. I get very upset that we can bail out wallstreet, spend trillions 'defending' 'interests', and yet ALLOW people who have nothing, to die on our streets. Many just want to stick their head in the sand and hope it will go away. Oh ... I will shut up. I get too angry. I do thank you sir, for a kind and most welcome review...yours, susan
reply by Bellringer on 16-Oct-2011
    You're welcome, Susan. I agree with your observations; it seems love is the missing ingredient--often lost in politics and economic gain. Blessings, Hector
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

For the many times you have earned an academy award I bestow my six. Susan, you are such a great writer, but I think at times you struggle with honesty.

You remind me of a time when I said yes to everything, afraid of disapproval, disbelief, a minimization of my value if I didn't please, at the very least, cmpromise.

This write is raw aand disgustingly honest. And, that's what makes it great! Yu can take your rage and pivot it into a scene, into the disgust of both the victim and the indifferent abuser.

This story didn't ask for pity or understanding. It was a naked expose of reality...in someone's life, somewhere in a vacant lot.

Hey, I've been trying to save the odd six for the newbies, the ones, unlike you and I who do know we are good writers. But, my rating is not a backslash compliment. It is a absolute directive from some out-of-body God who compels me to call it the way I see it!

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
    Wow, this is a very kind and the sort of review that makes me really want to succeed. I need to work harder so I can. Maybe. I do dream of it. Thank you dear Ingrid. Wish I could somehow frame this review...xoxo, suse
Comment from Chuck23
Excellent
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This is a well written piece of flash fiction, Realist101! It's writing like this that will make me think twice before I bitch about my own life. You held nothing back -

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2011
    Hello Chuck...I know, me too...tho I've been homeless, and I do know the fear and self-loathing I felt. I was not a prostitute however, just without. It's awful. Yes, I appreciate what I have now, that's for certain. Thank you very much, this review is very much appreciated! Susan
Comment from Veekz
Excellent
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So many lost souls out there and you have worded this particular souls poor, sad tale well. It is brutal but it is real and some people, like the boy in this story, know too much just how cruel it can be out there.

Well worded, horrific story

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
    Hi Jess! Lost souls, this is a good description...and so sad...that we can bail out the b-------ds on wallstreet and yet let the ones who really need help, just die. It's disgusting. I just don't understand how the rich can sleep at night. Of course, I guess, compared to some, I may be rich, but I'm talking about the ones who have so much to SPARE...who have so much they couldn't spend it all in a lifetime. Ahhhh!! I better not get started..."/ xoxo, susan
Comment from linsbm
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It hooked the reader right from the beginning paragraph and way through. Scenario of event flows in progressive order of thoughts and it is believably true. Strong character plays and clear language. Dialogues are believable with satisfying ending.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2011


reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
    HI Lin(?) Thank you so much...it's sad how things are in our world...I heard a song and it made me think....and write. But so sad...Thanks again...Susan
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2011
    HI Lin(?) Thank you so much...it's sad how things are in our world...I heard a song and it made me think....and write. But so sad...Thanks again...Susan