Secrets of the Night
.:l:.5 total reviews
Comment from mdbooks1
It is true our dreams is a world we can get lost in. Sometimes it is a way to face our fears or to find solace from the days struggles.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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It is true our dreams is a world we can get lost in. Sometimes it is a way to face our fears or to find solace from the days struggles.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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Yeah haha
Comment from Betty517
You can dream all night,
Dream about life, death, or peace,
Only you will know what's true.
If you take out the word "Only" then you will have a 5-7-5 poem. This is wonderful except for the syllable count!
Betty
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2011
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You can dream all night,
Dream about life, death, or peace,
Only you will know what's true.
If you take out the word "Only" then you will have a 5-7-5 poem. This is wonderful except for the syllable count!
Betty
Comment Written 21-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2011
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Thank you ahaha
Comment from EvangelineW
Good poem, very thought provoking, however, there are 7 syllables in the final line. By removing the definite article and turning "you will" into a contraction, you will have 5 syllables. Fiddling with punctuation as well as conjunctions would also keep the meaning but fit the syllable scheme, e.g.: "Dream of life, death, peace... Only / You will know the truth." Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Good poem, very thought provoking, however, there are 7 syllables in the final line. By removing the definite article and turning "you will" into a contraction, you will have 5 syllables. Fiddling with punctuation as well as conjunctions would also keep the meaning but fit the syllable scheme, e.g.: "Dream of life, death, peace... Only / You will know the truth." Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 21-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thank you! I didn't notice that hahah.
Comment from Van
Sorry, the counts don't match
It's like a 5,7,7 or something along those lines.
content: good
Flow: what's not to flow in shorts?lol
Mechanics: counts wrong.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Sorry, the counts don't match
It's like a 5,7,7 or something along those lines.
content: good
Flow: what's not to flow in shorts?lol
Mechanics: counts wrong.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Yeah thank you hahah. I didn't notice that.
Comment from snoopy lover
Sorry but the last line has seven syllables in it by my count. I thought the other two lines were alright. Perhaps the last line could be amended like this? Only you know truth. Good luck with making this work.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Sorry but the last line has seven syllables in it by my count. I thought the other two lines were alright. Perhaps the last line could be amended like this? Only you know truth. Good luck with making this work.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Yeah haha thank you. I didn't notice that haha.
