What Happened to Common Sense
Just a short rant about one of life's experiences67 total reviews
Comment from The Stranger
well I guess he most probably did too, though I believe that you acted in the correct manner and did what any other half decent person would have
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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well I guess he most probably did too, though I believe that you acted in the correct manner and did what any other half decent person would have
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thanks for reading and the kind review. Both are appreciated. Bill
Comment from Helen Tan
Poignant story. The States being such a melting pot of races, I'm sure there are many such incidents. How great it would be to have a Mr. Bill to soothe them over! =D
Bader was quiet for a moment before he almost whispered
Suggest deleting "almost", it reads as if he almost whispered but didn't as in - I stumbled and almost fell (but didn't).
Bader was quiet for a moment before he whispered
First, the situation smacks of Muslim-Phobia, not only by the students, but perhaps by the school faculty as well. I know that the event occurred right after September 11,
It's a touchy situation - both sides go into defensive mode. Then there's a tendency to become narrow minded and not see, not wanting to see things from the other side.
I know that schools take positions that are designed to protect their students. That doesn't mean that common sense gets thrown out
Just want to alert you to your usage of "that" especially when they appear in a string like in these lines - you have 4 here. Too many break the flow of your lines. Suggest -
I know schools take positions designed to protect their students. That doesn't mean common sense gets thrown out
I've deleted 3 of them, see what you think of the flow in this suggested format.
but when a kid tells you your sister is a whore, what's a guy to do?
During my school days, I think we were kinder to our classmates. I remember my daughter's classmate crying because someone called her a bitch in 2nd grade!
He made the call too the Principal.
He made the call TO the Principal.
The, "Gee, thanks, Mr. Bill", almost sounded sarcastic. I think the little punk wanted to stay home.
Why, Mr Bill, you're quite the party pooper! Bader probably had all sorts of adventures planned.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Poignant story. The States being such a melting pot of races, I'm sure there are many such incidents. How great it would be to have a Mr. Bill to soothe them over! =D
Bader was quiet for a moment before he almost whispered
Suggest deleting "almost", it reads as if he almost whispered but didn't as in - I stumbled and almost fell (but didn't).
Bader was quiet for a moment before he whispered
First, the situation smacks of Muslim-Phobia, not only by the students, but perhaps by the school faculty as well. I know that the event occurred right after September 11,
It's a touchy situation - both sides go into defensive mode. Then there's a tendency to become narrow minded and not see, not wanting to see things from the other side.
I know that schools take positions that are designed to protect their students. That doesn't mean that common sense gets thrown out
Just want to alert you to your usage of "that" especially when they appear in a string like in these lines - you have 4 here. Too many break the flow of your lines. Suggest -
I know schools take positions designed to protect their students. That doesn't mean common sense gets thrown out
I've deleted 3 of them, see what you think of the flow in this suggested format.
but when a kid tells you your sister is a whore, what's a guy to do?
During my school days, I think we were kinder to our classmates. I remember my daughter's classmate crying because someone called her a bitch in 2nd grade!
He made the call too the Principal.
He made the call TO the Principal.
The, "Gee, thanks, Mr. Bill", almost sounded sarcastic. I think the little punk wanted to stay home.
Why, Mr Bill, you're quite the party pooper! Bader probably had all sorts of adventures planned.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Hi Helen - thanks for reading and special thanks for the editing help. Not only was I a party pooper, I'm pretty sure that Bader would have cut my front lawn for me! Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from Larrypic11
I like the twist at the end, and although your assumptions were unconfirmed, something more was there beyond a one-sided fight. One's feelings and reactions are always clear enough though:-)Some practicals
It was twelve-year-old Bader. -- comma after old
He made the call too the Principal-- to instead of too
Be well.
Larry
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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I like the twist at the end, and although your assumptions were unconfirmed, something more was there beyond a one-sided fight. One's feelings and reactions are always clear enough though:-)Some practicals
It was twelve-year-old Bader. -- comma after old
He made the call too the Principal-- to instead of too
Be well.
Larry
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thanks Larry - first for reading and then taking the time with editing. Both are much appreciated. Bill
Comment from debskatz
Hi bhogg,
What a wonderful story! For the most part, it's well written, but I did notice a couple of "too" that should have been "to."
It's a pity Bader wasn't bigger than those two guys & thus could have done some damage. We all need to remember that 9/11 was caused by a few fanatics, not endorsed by all Muslums.
Hopefully, one day, we'll all have some common sense about a lot of things.
Thanks so much for sharing Bader's story.
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Hi bhogg,
What a wonderful story! For the most part, it's well written, but I did notice a couple of "too" that should have been "to."
It's a pity Bader wasn't bigger than those two guys & thus could have done some damage. We all need to remember that 9/11 was caused by a few fanatics, not endorsed by all Muslums.
Hopefully, one day, we'll all have some common sense about a lot of things.
Thanks so much for sharing Bader's story.
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thanks Deb - I appreciate you reading and your kind feedback. Regards, Bill
Comment from animatqua
This may have been Muslim prejudice, but probably not. My two granddaughters run into the same crap, and they're as blond, blue eyed as it gets.
The things kids say to one another today would apall you. Both of my granddaughters---twelve and thirteen at the time---were called rapists. ?????? That's only the start of what gets thrown around.
Mostly, I think kids don't even know what they're saying.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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This may have been Muslim prejudice, but probably not. My two granddaughters run into the same crap, and they're as blond, blue eyed as it gets.
The things kids say to one another today would apall you. Both of my granddaughters---twelve and thirteen at the time---were called rapists. ?????? That's only the start of what gets thrown around.
Mostly, I think kids don't even know what they're saying.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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You could be right. I certainly remember a fair degree of meaness in school. Thanks for reading and your comments. Bill
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Bill, isn't it sad? I guess the problem did not stop for Bader. He had to pay for being who he was every day at school, and probably the rest of his life. This is an interesting and thought provoking write.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Hi, Bill, isn't it sad? I guess the problem did not stop for Bader. He had to pay for being who he was every day at school, and probably the rest of his life. This is an interesting and thought provoking write.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thanks Belinda - I know that the experience caused me to stop and think. His little sister has been over at our house today visiting my wife. She shows her how to arrange flowers, cook, etc.
Comment from MS Writer
Something that happens all the time, I think. This was written with a lot of compassion and understanding. Well written. Great thoughts in this one.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Something that happens all the time, I think. This was written with a lot of compassion and understanding. Well written. Great thoughts in this one.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thanks for reading and for your kind and generous feedback. Bill
Comment from Mariea
A well written short story that is true all over the world. Anyone that is different is usually the main target for bullying. Well put together and developed without any clutter. Characters and dialogue realistic.
Have a great day, hugs Mia
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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A well written short story that is true all over the world. Anyone that is different is usually the main target for bullying. Well put together and developed without any clutter. Characters and dialogue realistic.
Have a great day, hugs Mia
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thank you Mia! I appreciate you reading and for your kind comments. Bill
Comment from Shirley B
Bill, Good for you. Ofcourse the punisment was unfair. Your neighborhood sounds like mine. We just had a latge community picnic and we always set it so we can include our neighbor 2 doors down. He won't eat during Ramadan. We are ALL neighbors and look out for each other. I would love to be your neighbor. You can bring the homemade icecream next time, Great story, Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Bill, Good for you. Ofcourse the punisment was unfair. Your neighborhood sounds like mine. We just had a latge community picnic and we always set it so we can include our neighbor 2 doors down. He won't eat during Ramadan. We are ALL neighbors and look out for each other. I would love to be your neighbor. You can bring the homemade icecream next time, Great story, Shirley
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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I'd be glad to bring the ice cream. I know I'd love you as a neighbor! Thanks for reading and for the stars. We don't get many sixes, so I'm always humbled to get one. Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from livelylinda
bhogg,
It is either do too little until someone gets hurt or killed and then it is over react. . .we need a universal measurement for common sense. It is a good story and I'm proud that you reacted and tried to right a wrong against this little boy. You did a good thing, Grandpa Bill, and then wrote a story that warms the heart. Thanks for sharing this experience.
livelylinda
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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bhogg,
It is either do too little until someone gets hurt or killed and then it is over react. . .we need a universal measurement for common sense. It is a good story and I'm proud that you reacted and tried to right a wrong against this little boy. You did a good thing, Grandpa Bill, and then wrote a story that warms the heart. Thanks for sharing this experience.
livelylinda
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thank you Linda for bringing a smile to my face. Hugs, Bill
