The dragon Mareng
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "A dragon and a fly"Mareng growing up and all kinds
33 total reviews
Comment from Chris Tee
This is an excellent write we have here Ine old sport
There are a few sentence structures which can improve. First of all your tenses must correspond like here "Aged 6 years Mareng started to learn this art from his parents. They first taught him to fly. I would say
At the age of 6 years Mareng learnt this art from his parents.
"with huge speed." At huge speed
Well done I enjoyed it as a kiddies story.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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This is an excellent write we have here Ine old sport
There are a few sentence structures which can improve. First of all your tenses must correspond like here "Aged 6 years Mareng started to learn this art from his parents. They first taught him to fly. I would say
At the age of 6 years Mareng learnt this art from his parents.
"with huge speed." At huge speed
Well done I enjoyed it as a kiddies story.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thanks for your kind review my friend. Take care and have a nice day, Ine. And a great thanks for the tips-will probably revise a bit.
Comment from misscookie
I like this story very much.
I found it to be very educational as well.
I could see this as a wonderful children book about mother natures animals.
thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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I like this story very much.
I found it to be very educational as well.
I could see this as a wonderful children book about mother natures animals.
thank you for sharing
Comment Written 21-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thanks so much for your most generous review. Take care and have a nice day, Ine. You made mine with the six star, much appreciated.
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No problem...You earned it!
Comment from wilburmillicent
Hi Robina. I like this story very much. It is quite short and I think there is a lot of potential in the character of Mareng. I love the way you have him thinking that his reflection is another small parent, brilliant!
You have a wonderful imagination and I feel you have a children's book inside you. I imagine that there is a whole world for Mareng to explore and I hope he does. Well done, I enjoyed this short story very much.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Hi Robina. I like this story very much. It is quite short and I think there is a lot of potential in the character of Mareng. I love the way you have him thinking that his reflection is another small parent, brilliant!
You have a wonderful imagination and I feel you have a children's book inside you. I imagine that there is a whole world for Mareng to explore and I hope he does. Well done, I enjoyed this short story very much.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2011
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Thanks so much for your kind review my friend. Take care and have a nice day, Ine
