Comment from vkmack

Excellent

Okay, first, as one who practices reiki, I'm thrilled that you use it in this first part of your story. Wow! Second, this is amazing. I'm not big on horror or even suspense, but this captured my attention from the first paragraph. You give the characters grace and distinction before they become murder victims, and the actual murder itself is described with admirable restraint. I much prefer this to the blood and guts of other writers. You set the stage, create intriguing characters, and provide a very gothic (but not cheesy in any way) mood, then you let us do the dirty work. That is the mark of the best suspense and terror authors. King, for instance, rarely goes "guts and glory" in a work. I also loved the way you described the life of our spirit after the murder--again, respectful. We know she is a character of force in this story, and not something the others will just react against. This is no "Nightmare on Elm Street." I thought of the stories of Shirley Jackson, whom I adore. She does character studies, and she enmeshes her people with their environments. "The Lottery" and "The Haunting of Hill House" are masterpieces of horror--with no sign of blood, just masterful descriptions of scenes of death and decimation.

I'm impressed. I wish I had a six to share. Please keep rewriting the remainder of this work.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Thank you so very much for this most gracious review, V. It's such an honor to connect with another Reiki practitioner. I was fortunate to learn from one of the best in the area where I live. I'm sure you'd agree that as deceptively simple as it may look, it is very powerful. I must admit my favorite is working with animals. How about you?

I'm just so appreciative of all the ways you 'got' what I'm trying to do with my story. Thank you for taking so much time to put together this very encouraging review. It means more than you know as does your wish for a six.

Haunting of Hill House (adored the original movie version) and The Lottery are two of my favs, too!

:0) Bev

reply by vkmack on 18-Feb-2016

Hi Bev,
Reiki saved my life years ago, and I would never give it up. I discovered it during a horribly trying time in my life, and I am grateful every day. It's so nice to connect with someone else who understands! I learned from a local, very gifted practitioner who was my own naturopath originally. I am so grateful that she came into my life.
I loved your story! Yes, I thought of Jackson the whole time I read. I hope you will continue on. I'm excited to see where we are going. I love the Hill House movie, too. I'm a big Julie Harris fan, and she does a wonderful job (as Nell). Thank you so much for writing elegantly. There is so much blood and gore in this world, and we are able to use our imaginations to put things there without the shock value being shoved in our faces.
You did a fantastic job!

reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Awesome, vk. It's truly a gift from the divine to be able to help people move through illness and return to a sense of empowerment. You, like myself, were lucky to connect with a being of light.

Another parallel: I adore Julie Harris. I think it's because she played the wallflower type so often. She made the movie what it was in my opinion.

I have a friend on FanStory who recently mentioned his dog has cancer. He was to be having surgery and I'm waiting to hear how that went. If my friend still needs some healing energy sent to his dog, would you like to join your efforts with mine? Please don't feel like you have to at all. I'm asking because he requested I contact anyone on FanStory that may be able to help as well.

:) Bev

reply by vkmack on 19-Feb-2016

Absolutely, Bev. I'll be happy to send healing light and energy to the little dog. I was going to mention that the practitioner who trained me asked me if I wanted to explore animal reiki not too long ago, and I've seen several things recently about using reiki practice and horses. It seems that animal reiki is the next step. Isn't it interesting how we all connect in our thinking? I love that. Please let me know what you find our about your friend's dog. I've been helping with a friend's cat here. Daphne is 18, and she has been losing drastic amounts of weight. Her voice was hoarse, and she wasn't eating or drinking. I spent the weekend with her while they were out of town. She sleeps on top of me when I do that. I did some very focused work on her for the three-day weekend. She is eating better now, drinking, and is much more social. The hoarseness is gone as well. I'm hopeful.
Poor little pup. Yes, let's work on that.

On a completely different note, have you seen Julie Harris in "Member of the Wedding?" She will just break your heart. Frankie is such a social outcast. Julie Harris was 27, and she plays a 12 year old girl to perfection. How that woman never won an Oscar is beyond me. I have always just loved her.

I'm so glad we connected!

Goodnight, my friend. Rest well.

Comment from seaglass

Excellent

Very well written and interesting. I think o started reading this along time ago, I seem to remember some of it. The author's notes are helpful.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Great review, Seaglass. Thanks so much!

:) Bev

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Hello Bev, my friend,

I wondered if you had forgotten about this story. Gruesome tale, a fascinating ride into the extreme dark side.

Great cliffhanger. You've got me all curious!

Popped in for a quick peep at my mailbox and was delighted to see a post (finally) from you.

Hugs and love,

xx

Sonali


hen, with a wildness (born) out of fear and

Goosebumps rose up on both his arms, and he ... suggest: .. rose on both arms ... as opposed to ... rose UP

ver her eyes rested on the rich color of the Objet(s) d'(Art) acquired ... suggest not capitalizing, and perhaps using italics

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Thank you for your gracious and helpful review, Sonali. I appreciate the good suggestions, as always.

Really appreciate you taking time to read and review, my friend.

Hugs, Bev

Comment from Wabigoon

Excellent

Writing--
Don't understand why you are reposting this. It is not, in my estimation, as good as your "Don Juan" manuscript. I read it to try to get a handle on what you are doing. The religion here is intrusive and off-putting for me.

So, frankly, I just don't get it. Probably won't read more.

Best
Wabigoon/Jeff

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Thank you, Jeff. Feel free to pass on this novel. I would if I felt the way you obviously do.

Bev

Comment from boxergirl

Excellent

Hello Bev,
Your storyline is moving along nicely. Editing and revising is a huge job but worthwhile when it all comes together. I enjoyed reading the backstory of Catherine and Charles...and yhen back yo the gang ready to solve the mystery and maybe find justice for Catherine and Phillipe.
Karen 8-)

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Thanks so much Karen. Boy, you are so right about the editing and revising. I think I worked harder on this revision than I did when I first wrote the chapter! I like to think it's because of what I've learned.

Your support and encouragement is really appreciated, my friend.

:) Bev

Comment from busses

Average

this is a great chapter! I love everything about this story line. I am hooked on the paranormal and this piece caught my attention straight away. The way you explained the murders brought me there. Great!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Thank for reading and reviewing. Glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

Seven paragraphs after BELLINGHAM MANOR: Check this paragraph, Bev.

This would make a wonderful horror film. It could be a follow-up to one of our already well-known horror films. I like the characters in the modern day world. Giddy

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Thanks much, Giddy. Glad you enjoyed the chapter!

:) Bev

Comment from Sun

Exceptional

Wow, what a great story! I am usually not a big fan of paranormal stories but I really liked this one. Everything about this is good - the story, the characters, the writing, looking forward to reading more of this series.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Hi, Sun.

Thanks so much for your very encouraging and supportive review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. There's lots more action coming!

:) Bev

Comment from amahra

Excellent

I haven't read or heard from you in months. This was posted in 2011 and I never read it. I'm glad you reposted this; it's different from anything written on here. I really like it.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Thanks, Amahra. I never finished the novel back then, so I'm on a mission to accomplish that now. :)

Comment from Green Lake Girl

Exceptional

Bev:

So excited to see you'd posted another chapter in my favorite paranormal story! And I certainly wasn't disappointed. You write this genre like a published pro.

I appreciated the details of Catherine's backstory. No surprise that Charles was a total pig. You've made it very easy to hate this villain. It seems in his afterlife he has plenty of resources to continue to make people miserable. Somehow I feel he has a deliciously demonic ending coming to him. (Write on, dear author!)

Great descriptions:

"...hot-house orchids pressed into superiority by her determined mother." (Very unique and effective.)

"...feature morphed into a hateful mask..." (Made me shudder--I love how you leave the vision of a 'hateful mask' up to your readers' imaginations.)

Excellent, Bev. This chapter ended too soon!

Marietta

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Hi, Marietta

Thank you so much for taking time out of your holiday to read and review my chapter. I'm so glad you enjoyed the read. It was time to get back to my Team. I have quite a lot of affection for these young people.

Thanks, too, for highlighting those descriptions. I have to work to come up with something new and fresh so I really appreciate that as well.

Great to hear from you!

:) Bev

reply by Green Lake Girl on 18-Feb-2016

Alas, the holiday is over! We're back in chilly Michigan.

You're very welcome for the sixer. I too missed your very talented group of ghost hunters!

reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016

Thanks again for your enthusiastic support, Marietta. Big storm rolled through the valley yesterday. They got a good amount of rain, which is so very needed. We even lost power for about an hour. When it rains, it literally pours here.

When do you leave for Arizona?