Experiences of Death
Viewing comments for Prologue "The Heat of Battle"Metre ... Mixed
41 total reviews
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
Hi Bicpen.
think this worth a five,
but a neater layout would
give this piece much more impact.
also, the flow is a tad awkward
here and there.
nonetheless, a good write.
regards, eph.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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Hi Bicpen.
think this worth a five,
but a neater layout would
give this piece much more impact.
also, the flow is a tad awkward
here and there.
nonetheless, a good write.
regards, eph.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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thank you...not quite sure what I could do about the layout.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
It is true that the last enemy is death. Christ will ultimately destroys it, but in the meantime it's still there to go through. Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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It is true that the last enemy is death. Christ will ultimately destroys it, but in the meantime it's still there to go through. Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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thank you.
Comment from gazzagodbod
oo a scary enemy indeed is death but so easily defeated with faith and love how come its so hard to stick to the right path thanks my friend gazza
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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oo a scary enemy indeed is death but so easily defeated with faith and love how come its so hard to stick to the right path thanks my friend gazza
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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because we are all sinners and as you know sin does not want to obey anything righteous, hence all the rebellion.
Comment from Herb
A different and well written poem. The subject I find a little tiresome as its been a done ten billion times, it reads a bit like a biblical text *yawn*.
Bet hey, that's just me. Each to there own. :)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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A different and well written poem. The subject I find a little tiresome as its been a done ten billion times, it reads a bit like a biblical text *yawn*.
Bet hey, that's just me. Each to there own. :)
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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Thank you...did you not even see some sort of different perspective through reading it from your own concepts and imagination or was it such a repetative subject that maybe you have become immuned to it`s`message...me, generally I love theology.
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Yes I did. But I'm just an old sour puss. I just don't like that biblical style. All though I love Moby Dick. :)
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Very good...maybe you will one day and then you will wonder what took you so long...many thanks, Bicpen.
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Maybe.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, bicpen, a great job writing this poem about the struggle of the Christian to do what is right and defeat the spirit of evil that dwells in all of us
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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this is very well written, bicpen, a great job writing this poem about the struggle of the Christian to do what is right and defeat the spirit of evil that dwells in all of us
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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Many thanks...much appreciated.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'The Heat of Battle' is a well-written, spiritually uplifting and thought-provoking piece. This poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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'The Heat of Battle' is a well-written, spiritually uplifting and thought-provoking piece. This poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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Thank you duchess and glad you enjoyed your outing...pop round some time we`ll have a chat.
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Thank you Bicpen, for your kind invitation. I'd enjoy having a chat with you.
With my best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from honeytree
To live in our world today can become very hard to travel.
The evil is everywhere within our world.
We release the evil or try to, before evil ways control us.
Within our world evil ways can populate our mind.
The battle within ourselves can be huge.
To succumb to evil or not.
Honey tree
Or fight the evil ways within our world.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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To live in our world today can become very hard to travel.
The evil is everywhere within our world.
We release the evil or try to, before evil ways control us.
Within our world evil ways can populate our mind.
The battle within ourselves can be huge.
To succumb to evil or not.
Honey tree
Or fight the evil ways within our world.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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Thank you.
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I am glad you liked the review.
Honey tree
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Your words were written very well.
Honeytree
Comment from Kingsland
Is this a sermon or a poem. I think it's the former and not the latter. I found no real poetic value in this piece. It is written well for a prose piece. But it is lacking in poetic verve. It just forces a religious idea don't one's throat. You would have been better suited to post this in a prose category. It is a good piece of prose, but poetry it is not... John
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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Is this a sermon or a poem. I think it's the former and not the latter. I found no real poetic value in this piece. It is written well for a prose piece. But it is lacking in poetic verve. It just forces a religious idea don't one's throat. You would have been better suited to post this in a prose category. It is a good piece of prose, but poetry it is not... John
Comment Written 08-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2011
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Can I ask what exactly your idea of poetry is that this piece fails to deliver. Explain if you would please just what sort of verve it does lack...many thanks...Bicpen.
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It lacks everything when it comes to poetic verve This piece of writing has no rhythm. It is written like a sermon or a speech that you are telling. This has no poetic language in it. It is just preaching to someone. Poetry is metaphors and like a song being sung. It need colorful language , of this piece has none. I also looked at some of your other reviews that criticized this piece and you argued with then. Well my good man, they were right in what they were writing. I didn't go into any of what they saw. But I saw those thing myself. For example, you had run on sentences in this and it lacked punctuation. This is a learning site and I have been writing poetic verse for almost forty years now . I learn something new every day I am on this site. Poetry is artful craft that has certain rules that make it a poem. Prose has none of these rules. Try a little humbleness when it comes to taking constructive criticism. We are all here to learn and polish our craft...
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...are you sure John that my piece, shall we call it, is that void of poetic rule, structure or form that it is reduced to a mere piece of prose in your eyes.
Tell me please, as I do take on board constructive critisim and try to learn and benefit from it, what exactly does your forty years of experience say about the following:
Meter:
Stanza:
Rhyme:
Structure:
Form:
...or am I to understand that my piece has no rule or guidance within these frameworks, afterall thats what you seem to be telling me.
Many thanks...and please do not rant on about how it seems to be a sermon that lacks intelligent thought and direction possibly because it does not fit into your concept of what God is...
...if it is what you say it is it really deserves a 1 and not a 4 to be quite honest...
I am genuinely interested to hear what you can teach me John.
Bicpen.
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You are quite arrogant. My telling you that I have been writing for forty years was a way in showing you that it doesn't matter how many years I have been writing.That I have a lot to learn. I didn't say anything about your beliefs in my replies to your or criticize them. I just talked about the specifics in your writing. As far as meter, stanza, rhyme Structure and form. It was devoid of all of these except form. A poem need more than one stanza to be considered to be written in stanzas. You just cannot accept critical analysis.
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My friend, I apologise if I seem to come across as quite arrogant but I have a difference of opinion with you that I am trying to at least understand. I do not have a problem with critical analysis I rather enjoy to hear it when it is of value.
We all have a lot to learn my friend but not everyone is a teacher, I`m just trying to take the good from the bad and develop just as you are.
Like I said John if it is truly as void and as bad as you say it is then it really does deserve a 1.
Many thanks...
Bicpen.
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No it doesn't, I gave it a four star because it was written well as a piece of prose with a few corrections needed in punctuation and you have run on sentences. So I evaluated it as prose and not poetry, because it is not poetic.
You have other reviewers that gave you critical analysis and you argued with them as well. So let's end this as it is going nowhere. The only thing in life that is absolute... Is change....
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...nothing new under the sun, my friend...
Comment from The Stranger
well this is indeed an intense piece of writing, the over riding message appears to be that sin will forever battle with the powers of The Lord, often using the human race as its pawn
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2011
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well this is indeed an intense piece of writing, the over riding message appears to be that sin will forever battle with the powers of The Lord, often using the human race as its pawn
Comment Written 08-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2011
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pretty much stranger...but the Lord has the victory already...thats the secret...sshh! dont tell anyone.
Comment from HPicasso
Another great read. Strong message.
Excellent work.
A wonderful message of hope.
It does deserve a 6 stars, glad to have read.
Thank you for this find piece and many blessings.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2011
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Another great read. Strong message.
Excellent work.
A wonderful message of hope.
It does deserve a 6 stars, glad to have read.
Thank you for this find piece and many blessings.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2011
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Thank you very much appreciated.
