A Book of Songs
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Insane Serenade"Metre ... Ballads & Slant Rhyme
53 total reviews
Comment from tango494
Wow, what an interesting, well thought out and very creative poem. I loved your styling, formatting and overall presentation. This poem had a nice even flow and I loved it. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Wow, what an interesting, well thought out and very creative poem. I loved your styling, formatting and overall presentation. This poem had a nice even flow and I loved it. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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thank you...
Comment from DIS-illusioned
--"Insane Serenade"
Interesting title. Let's see where it leads ...
--"Cue, a lone cockroach approaching,"
Huh! ... Interesting imagery.
--"Here, see the truth of lies"
Good paradoxical statement.
--"My view of the state mental asylum that I spent time in at a young age."
Wow! ... Interesting metaphoric outlook on it.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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--"Insane Serenade"
Interesting title. Let's see where it leads ...
--"Cue, a lone cockroach approaching,"
Huh! ... Interesting imagery.
--"Here, see the truth of lies"
Good paradoxical statement.
--"My view of the state mental asylum that I spent time in at a young age."
Wow! ... Interesting metaphoric outlook on it.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thanks...I think.
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You're welcome..I know. :)
Comment from G.B. Smith
All is well in the ward of beds,
Each a tale to tell. All is well
In the soaked up meds, passing
Judgement in a mixed up world.
Having spent some time in one of these places after Vietnam, I fully feel the intent of this well written and thought out poem
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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All is well in the ward of beds,
Each a tale to tell. All is well
In the soaked up meds, passing
Judgement in a mixed up world.
Having spent some time in one of these places after Vietnam, I fully feel the intent of this well written and thought out poem
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you...God be with you.
Comment from oNray
A well thought out and laid out poem. A lot going on in this. Nice base, structure, rhythm, flow, and presentation.
Congratulations on a very nice poem.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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A well thought out and laid out poem. A lot going on in this. Nice base, structure, rhythm, flow, and presentation.
Congratulations on a very nice poem.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you very much...appreciated.
Comment from Thomas11
that was amazing. I am not going to pretend that i know what you are talking about because it is operating on so many levels. However i would say that this poem is deeply spiritual and a great read.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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that was amazing. I am not going to pretend that i know what you are talking about because it is operating on so many levels. However i would say that this poem is deeply spiritual and a great read.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Many thanks I am glad you appreciated on most of it`s levels
Comment from Tonulak
This was vivid, disturbing and powerful. The line "sweat glistens on the
brow reflects", seems grammatically unresolved; "reflects what? If you
tried "reflecting", then you'd have a nice double meaning, as the brow would
be physically reflecting and "reflecting" in terms of thinking, pondering.
Still this poem is excellent!
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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This was vivid, disturbing and powerful. The line "sweat glistens on the
brow reflects", seems grammatically unresolved; "reflects what? If you
tried "reflecting", then you'd have a nice double meaning, as the brow would
be physically reflecting and "reflecting" in terms of thinking, pondering.
Still this poem is excellent!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you maybe I can claim poetic license
Comment from angel123
Your poem is interesting and well written with deep emotion and colorful words. I enjoyed reading it and it flows well. Your artwork choice enhances your poem.
Angel123
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Your poem is interesting and well written with deep emotion and colorful words. I enjoyed reading it and it flows well. Your artwork choice enhances your poem.
Angel123
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you.
Comment from Denise S
Yes we should never pass judgment in a mixed up world. I liked your poem. You had a great message. And you chose the right picture too.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Yes we should never pass judgment in a mixed up world. I liked your poem. You had a great message. And you chose the right picture too.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you.
Comment from honeydo51
Hi Bicpen!
This poem was great and you must have put a lot of thought into this. I also loved the picture. I thought it was really neat and fit well with the poem. Great Job on this!
honeydo51
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Hi Bicpen!
This poem was great and you must have put a lot of thought into this. I also loved the picture. I thought it was really neat and fit well with the poem. Great Job on this!
honeydo51
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you honey...
Comment from Carolyn 12
Beautiful picture. Your poem is so dad to me. All the darkness and discord within. I do like the two lines the best where truth lies and passing judgement in a mixed up world, judgement can only be done by the one true judge. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Beautiful picture. Your poem is so dad to me. All the darkness and discord within. I do like the two lines the best where truth lies and passing judgement in a mixed up world, judgement can only be done by the one true judge. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you.
