Dance Me to the Moon
behind the curtain40 total reviews
Comment from humpwhistle
This is a very good example of flash. I never once got the feeling that words have been shaved or even counted for that matter. And the reveal at the end was satifying without being contrived. This is just good fiction, flash or not. Best of luck with the voting.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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This is a very good example of flash. I never once got the feeling that words have been shaved or even counted for that matter. And the reveal at the end was satifying without being contrived. This is just good fiction, flash or not. Best of luck with the voting.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 05-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi, Lee. Wow, your words really touch me - especially given the depth of your talent. Thank you so much for reaching across the miles and supporting my writing efforts. And thank you also for your good luck wishes. You are truly a generous man and a splendid example of why this site offers so much. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from WilliamDeen
This is a very well written story about a young lady dealing with having had a mastectomy. I am sure it is hard at first for people with breast cancer. She did herself proud at the dance.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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This is a very well written story about a young lady dealing with having had a mastectomy. I am sure it is hard at first for people with breast cancer. She did herself proud at the dance.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Thank you, billy, for such a kind and encouraging review. I really appreciate it! Bev
Comment from Melspoems
I really enjoyed reading this Bev.
I can relate to lots of the self care things Paige has obviously learnt in her therapy sessions.
The ending is great, it really made me smile.
Great writing.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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I really enjoyed reading this Bev.
I can relate to lots of the self care things Paige has obviously learnt in her therapy sessions.
The ending is great, it really made me smile.
Great writing.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi, Mel. I'm glad that you noticed and remarked about the self-care points. It's hard to really explain what those little things mean unless you've been there yourself. Your review really touched my heart! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Tom C. Adams
Tension from the anticipatory kind to things sexual. This one has it all. So skillfully created, this DANCE ME TO THE MOON. Paige has certainly suffered physically and mentally, but she has been set up to recover, thanks to some apparently fine psychoanalysis.
The meeting up with Kyle at the reunion and his yearning seems to have been the one and only thing that could push her along the road to total recovery. I'm going out on a limb here, Bev, but in my head, Kyle would have been okay with it.
The descriptions of the hotel room were focused and keen. The Freddy Mercury beverage, perfect. And you know me and music: the Harry Connick Jr. track added the perfect musical touch.
One whale of a flash fiction, Bev
Tom C.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Tension from the anticipatory kind to things sexual. This one has it all. So skillfully created, this DANCE ME TO THE MOON. Paige has certainly suffered physically and mentally, but she has been set up to recover, thanks to some apparently fine psychoanalysis.
The meeting up with Kyle at the reunion and his yearning seems to have been the one and only thing that could push her along the road to total recovery. I'm going out on a limb here, Bev, but in my head, Kyle would have been okay with it.
The descriptions of the hotel room were focused and keen. The Freddy Mercury beverage, perfect. And you know me and music: the Harry Connick Jr. track added the perfect musical touch.
One whale of a flash fiction, Bev
Tom C.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi, Tom C. I am really touched by your generous suppor. It was suggested I expand the piece, but I probably won't. However, I visualized Kyle being totally cool with it. I'm so very honored by your amazing rating and support, my friend. Your review is thorough and shows a real depth of understanding for what I was aiming at. Many thanks, Bev
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You are welcome, Bev. It is a contest entry no? Good luck be upon you, my TC friend!
Tom C.
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Thank you!!
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Bev
A beautifully crafted piece of prose fiction.
I thought at first it might be one of your spooky tales - but it developed into a touching human story.
Don't change a thing.
Good luck in the contest.
Ron xox
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi Bev
A beautifully crafted piece of prose fiction.
I thought at first it might be one of your spooky tales - but it developed into a touching human story.
Don't change a thing.
Good luck in the contest.
Ron xox
Comment Written 05-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi, Ron. I am so thrilled with your nod of support. Thank you for taking the time to read and support my effort, and I appreciate your good luck wishes. xx Bev
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
The story unfolds well as Paige talks with her therapist, and anticipates the reunion.
It is easy to imagine her trepidation once one becomes aware of the problem.
That first step is always the hardest.
Excellent read.
Juliette
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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The story unfolds well as Paige talks with her therapist, and anticipates the reunion.
It is easy to imagine her trepidation once one becomes aware of the problem.
That first step is always the hardest.
Excellent read.
Juliette
Comment Written 05-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi, Juliette. Thank you so very much for your insights and support. I am honored! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Sounds as though Paige was surrounded by a conspiracy of love. Her friends all knew her secret, and they all rose to the occasion. She's a lucky woman. Great job, Bev. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Sounds as though Paige was surrounded by a conspiracy of love. Her friends all knew her secret, and they all rose to the occasion. She's a lucky woman. Great job, Bev. :) Nancy
Comment Written 05-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi, Nancy. Thank you for your, especially, kind review. I appreciate your understanding and support. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from misscookie
What an encouraging story. It gives many people not only hope but they can live an normal life. That they to can overcome any obstacles that steps in their path.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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What an encouraging story. It gives many people not only hope but they can live an normal life. That they to can overcome any obstacles that steps in their path.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi, misscookie. What a lovely review! I really appreciate your understanding of my goal with the story...I can always depend on your to get it. And thank you for your extremely generous rating. I am honored, my friend. Warm regards, Bev
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It was my pleasure. If I do come across something I don't understand, I will ask you to expliane it to me. I hope you don't mine.
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I do not mind at all, misscookie. And I will do the same with your writing. We're here to learn. Thanks again! Bev
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I love when there id a meeting of the minds( smile)
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Perfectly said, my friend. XX Bev
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Thank you very much.
Comment from robina1978
Well written Flash fiction.
Liked the way you described someone just finishing intensive therapy and then facing the first big hurdle.
Think she managed alright.
Quite an achievement.
Held my attention all the way.
Characters and dialogues realistic.
No tips to improve.
Wish you all the best for the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Well written Flash fiction.
Liked the way you described someone just finishing intensive therapy and then facing the first big hurdle.
Think she managed alright.
Quite an achievement.
Held my attention all the way.
Characters and dialogues realistic.
No tips to improve.
Wish you all the best for the contest.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi, robina. Your first line made me giddy, LOL. I've come a long way from my first efforts at writing Flash Fiction. It's a challenging form and I continue to try to crack it. Your comments of support and insight are so very much appreciated, my friend. Thanks for the good wishes, as well. Bev
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very welcome as always.Ine
Comment from Rama Rao
A good story with a fine twist at the end. It's the twist in the tale that enriches it. You built suspense and maintained right until the last few lines.
However, I have a few points.
1. Sorority of sisters= sorority is sisterhood like brotherhood. Of sisters is redundant, I think.
2. Holding her close,Paige felt= here, her means Paige. I think you have to rework this sentence.
3.frank stares- Is this an apt adjective?
4.To Paige's surprise- To her surprise, Paige...
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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A good story with a fine twist at the end. It's the twist in the tale that enriches it. You built suspense and maintained right until the last few lines.
However, I have a few points.
1. Sorority of sisters= sorority is sisterhood like brotherhood. Of sisters is redundant, I think.
2. Holding her close,Paige felt= here, her means Paige. I think you have to rework this sentence.
3.frank stares- Is this an apt adjective?
4.To Paige's surprise- To her surprise, Paige...
Comment Written 05-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2011
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Hi, Ramarao. Thank you for your excellent insights and review. I appreciate your suggestions for improvements as well as your time and interest. Blessings, Bev
