At the River's Edge
A poem about aging & changing perspectives.8 total reviews
Comment from vickib
Oh man do I love this senryu. Congratulations on this win, it's so deserving of it. I love it when the take my breath away and make me sit and pause in thought like this one did. Welcome to fanstory too! SUPER SENRYU! XO Vicki
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Oh man do I love this senryu. Congratulations on this win, it's so deserving of it. I love it when the take my breath away and make me sit and pause in thought like this one did. Welcome to fanstory too! SUPER SENRYU! XO Vicki
Comment Written 28-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thank you very much for your review and remarks. I'm so happy to have discovered fanstory. I feel as if I've just opened a door & met a whole new bunch of friends.
Comment from dbmccarter
This is by far the best one in the contest. Very thought provoking and so true a lot of the time. Excellent use of the the format and the art is great. You will win.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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This is by far the best one in the contest. Very thought provoking and so true a lot of the time. Excellent use of the the format and the art is great. You will win.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Oh my, what a nice message to see when I woke up this morning! Thank you for reading & reviewing my poem. I do appreciate the kind words.
Comment from MelissaBickel
hmmm I was like oh no this is a Haiku because of the nature related comments, but you know something this works well as a Senyru to for what it represents between a son and father. Nicely done!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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hmmm I was like oh no this is a Haiku because of the nature related comments, but you know something this works well as a Senyru to for what it represents between a son and father. Nicely done!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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Thank you for reading my poem. Your review and comments are appreciated.
Comment from linsbm
This syllable count of this senryu is perfect - 5-7-5. The message is clearly communicated figuratively in poetic language. Time is never too late for a father and son to catch up for their lost time to be together. Third line is perfect for the message.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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This syllable count of this senryu is perfect - 5-7-5. The message is clearly communicated figuratively in poetic language. Time is never too late for a father and son to catch up for their lost time to be together. Third line is perfect for the message.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your review. Your kind comments are appreciated.
Comment from more2write
Love this one. I love the senryu because it is about human nature. Yours is done with great care and is well crafted. I will think of this today, it is that haunting. Way to go, more2write
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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Love this one. I love the senryu because it is about human nature. Yours is done with great care and is well crafted. I will think of this today, it is that haunting. Way to go, more2write
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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I appreciate your review and comments. How nice it is to think that something you write has made a lingering impression on someone else! Thank you.
Comment from AlvinTEthington
A poignant poem. It does contain irony, so it qualifies reservedly as a senryu. I also think it might be a haiku under the category of seikatsu with the quality of wabi. Senryu have been on my mind, since I am teaching a course on them next month on this site. Nice use of wordplay. The capitalization of the first word is unusual. Good juxtaposition of picture and poem.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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A poignant poem. It does contain irony, so it qualifies reservedly as a senryu. I also think it might be a haiku under the category of seikatsu with the quality of wabi. Senryu have been on my mind, since I am teaching a course on them next month on this site. Nice use of wordplay. The capitalization of the first word is unusual. Good juxtaposition of picture and poem.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your review. Your comments are appreciated.
Comment from Ultra Demos
You have penned the father and son dynamic in not so many words. You have done much with you have said. It was a very insightful read. Father and son looking back at the lost years. We only get one life so best we leave nothing undone.
Thanks for posting this interesting poem.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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You have penned the father and son dynamic in not so many words. You have done much with you have said. It was a very insightful read. Father and son looking back at the lost years. We only get one life so best we leave nothing undone.
Thanks for posting this interesting poem.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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Thanks for reading and for your kind review.
Comment from Bayberry
This is a bittersweet posting that goes straight to the heart. If only we could turn back the clock and avoid our mistakes. But that's not the way it works. I enjoyed reading your entry very much. :>
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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This is a bittersweet posting that goes straight to the heart. If only we could turn back the clock and avoid our mistakes. But that's not the way it works. I enjoyed reading your entry very much. :>
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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Thanks for your review; glad you enjoyed it. Yes, the two saddest words in any language are probably: "if only."
