Heart beat
Its a poem based upon the materialistic world.2 total reviews
Comment from mumsyone
I have taken thoughts from your poem and put them in a 5-7-5 poem for you to see. It would go something like this:
in a hermit world
no promises and no trust
worthless heartbeats end
It would be broken into syllables like this:
in (1) a (2) hermit (3,4) world (5 syllables)
no (1) prom-is-es (2,3,4) and (5) no (6) trust (7 syllables)
worth-less (1,2) heart-beats (3,4) end (5 syllables)
You can change edit your poem to read this way or choose whatever you want to put in those three lines. Okay?
I hope this helps.
Oops! Your poem is not a 5-7-5! This category calls for a poem of only 3 lines, with 5, 7, and 5 syllables, so your poem won't work for this contest. Hope you can change the poem or category!
Also, your poem is not showing up on the page. The font is too light. Hope you can change that, too.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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I have taken thoughts from your poem and put them in a 5-7-5 poem for you to see. It would go something like this:
in a hermit world
no promises and no trust
worthless heartbeats end
It would be broken into syllables like this:
in (1) a (2) hermit (3,4) world (5 syllables)
no (1) prom-is-es (2,3,4) and (5) no (6) trust (7 syllables)
worth-less (1,2) heart-beats (3,4) end (5 syllables)
You can change edit your poem to read this way or choose whatever you want to put in those three lines. Okay?
I hope this helps.
Oops! Your poem is not a 5-7-5! This category calls for a poem of only 3 lines, with 5, 7, and 5 syllables, so your poem won't work for this contest. Hope you can change the poem or category!
Also, your poem is not showing up on the page. The font is too light. Hope you can change that, too.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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I want your help because I still cant understand how to edit ?please I dont want to give up I know you would help me.
Comment from Chris Tee
Sorry I had to abandon the read because this is not in the required format. You will not shape in the contest. This is a three line poem required, but it must have 5 syllables not words in the first line, 7 syllables not words in the second and 5 syllables in the last line
Let me try to help you.
It is a 5-7-5, Haiku and senryu format, Ok:
Example:
I love you so much = 5 syllables
My love for you is extreme = 7 syllables
Much is love for you = 5 syllables
Three lines only you see
Every = 3 syllables e=1 ve=1 ry=1 total = 3
Now do not give up go and edit it. Once you have edited it reply to me and I shall re-review it for you. If you do not understand tell me in your reply Ok, I shall try to help you further
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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Sorry I had to abandon the read because this is not in the required format. You will not shape in the contest. This is a three line poem required, but it must have 5 syllables not words in the first line, 7 syllables not words in the second and 5 syllables in the last line
Let me try to help you.
It is a 5-7-5, Haiku and senryu format, Ok:
Example:
I love you so much = 5 syllables
My love for you is extreme = 7 syllables
Much is love for you = 5 syllables
Three lines only you see
Every = 3 syllables e=1 ve=1 ry=1 total = 3
Now do not give up go and edit it. Once you have edited it reply to me and I shall re-review it for you. If you do not understand tell me in your reply Ok, I shall try to help you further
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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Thanks for replying but please could you help me in this?
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I have explained the format in my review and read carefully what I said. The format should only be three lines.
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Hey chris iam working on what you say but unfortunately I dont get it,I dont want to give up I shall do everything for this believe me i can do this but i need a little support from you...please its something very precious for me ..i just need a little more support from you guys..
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Read carefully what I explained in my review. and work on that or else post it as general POETRY not as 5-7-5 POETRY.
