Paranormal Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Speak of the Devil"Case Studies of Hauntings
55 total reviews
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of work. There are some strange happenings going on here, that's for sure.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2015
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This is an interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of work. There are some strange happenings going on here, that's for sure.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much, Tomes.
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My pleasure
Comment from Dawn Munro
Geez, talk about tension! Wow, this is so full of action and vivid description it keeps the reader on the edge of her seat just hoping to make it out alive! Absolutely gripping, Bev - I only wish I had a six this so well deserves!!!
******************OUTSTANDING!****************************(I wouldn't change a thing!)
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Geez, talk about tension! Wow, this is so full of action and vivid description it keeps the reader on the edge of her seat just hoping to make it out alive! Absolutely gripping, Bev - I only wish I had a six this so well deserves!!!
******************OUTSTANDING!****************************(I wouldn't change a thing!)
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Hiya, Dawn. Thanks, my friend, for this awesome review. Your words are as appreciated as an extra star would be. Thanks for continuing to read my chapters!
Hugs, Bev
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Always - wouldn't miss if I could help it, my friend - especially this scary ghost story. (In fact, I want to see it made into a movie! Yoza!!!)
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Hey, I would not mind that at all LoL! xx Bev
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:) It would sure make a good one!!!
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:))
Comment from Ric Myworld
Reading this chapter kinda felt like being swung around hanging onto an enraged elephants tail by my fingertips. Never knowing just what might jump out at me or what I might be thrown into. Thanks for the pleasure of reading another fine chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Reading this chapter kinda felt like being swung around hanging onto an enraged elephants tail by my fingertips. Never knowing just what might jump out at me or what I might be thrown into. Thanks for the pleasure of reading another fine chapter. :-)
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Hi, Ric. Love your analogy and your grand review. Thanks so much for both! Have a nice weekend...
:) Bev
Comment from thee-name
Excellent chapter. Seen no mistakes. Your writing was very interesting.
"We ... I ... have been mislead. In fact, I believe the caretaker
is a red herring."
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Excellent chapter. Seen no mistakes. Your writing was very interesting.
"We ... I ... have been mislead. In fact, I believe the caretaker
is a red herring."
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for your generous review, T.
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thank you!
Comment from boxergirl
Wow, Bev. The tension meter jumped to a ten on this one! Great job with your descriptive details. The imagery made my heart thump a little faster as i read it. I liked seeing Emma step up her game and Mia seems to have a new revelation that will affect the direction of the story. Well done, my friend.
Karen 8-)
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Wow, Bev. The tension meter jumped to a ten on this one! Great job with your descriptive details. The imagery made my heart thump a little faster as i read it. I liked seeing Emma step up her game and Mia seems to have a new revelation that will affect the direction of the story. Well done, my friend.
Karen 8-)
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Hi, BG. Thanks so much for this great review. I'm honored by your encouragement and generosity. I was just in the middle of making some editorial changes when I received your review. I love when readers give me their perspectives on the post, especially when they correct some rather silly oversights! But I think I got a little caught-up in my story, too. LoL.
Have a good weekend!
:) Bev
Comment from Showboat
I loved this book, Bev, and I'm so glad to see it again. I don't remember enough to spoil the read, just enough to know I want more. This is my fave genre to read - wish I could write it but I can't. You, on the other, do a masterful job!
Wonderful chapter,
Hugs
Gayle
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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I loved this book, Bev, and I'm so glad to see it again. I don't remember enough to spoil the read, just enough to know I want more. This is my fave genre to read - wish I could write it but I can't. You, on the other, do a masterful job!
Wonderful chapter,
Hugs
Gayle
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Hi, Gayle. Thank you so very much. I am honored by your encouragement and support. I do have disagree one point, I've no doubt you could write a great novel in this genre.
I really appreciate your generosity, my friend.
Hugs, Bev
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I might already, over the years, lol, asked, but do you read Kay Hooper? I love her, love her characters, and honest injun, you do it as well or better than she does. I'm miserable at it, trust me. Too over the top! So, are the first ten chapters edited and ready to go or are you still working at it?
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I LOVE Kay Hooper, Gayle. She's got some great characters. So, I'm very honored by the comparison.
I've got the first ten chapters ready to go out to Rama Devi for editing. She's been working with me for about a year on various projects and we pretty much see eye-to-eye.
I have to tell you that when I saw the picture of ISIS bombing the Eqyptian ship, your story immediately came to mind. I feel they're shadow governments aiming to make this world a very nasty place. I keep praying for the strength for myself and my family to remain faithful to His word no matter what may come.
Anyway, great talking 'with' you, my friend.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Reading this, Bev, makes me realize
just how I've missed your writing -
yours and Avril's I used to follow
faithfully - great chapter, my friend.
Had I a six it would be your.
It's center swirled -- Its
dropped all pretense??? pretence
Margaret
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Reading this, Bev, makes me realize
just how I've missed your writing -
yours and Avril's I used to follow
faithfully - great chapter, my friend.
Had I a six it would be your.
It's center swirled -- Its
dropped all pretense??? pretence
Margaret
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Magaret, you couldn't have written a more encouraging review. Thank you for your support and generosity. It means so much coming from a writer I deeply admire.
I've had some good editing suggestions this morning, along with yours, so I'll be going back to the drawing board. Ha!
:) Bev
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Holy shit, Bev! You pulled out all the stops with this chapter.
Your knowledge of the paranormal shines through. The scene in the library was nothing short of fantastic. The sense of evil was palpable. Very smart of Mia to figure out that the apparition of Catherine was nothing more than a ruse. The smell of gardenias was a brilliant touch, Bev. It did throw me off, but didn't fool Mia!
The very best, however, was the angel fighting back the demon. I think it's masterful how you weave in your character's faith in your stories. We all need God's help in whatever we do. Especially people in the line of work of fighting demons.
Your descriptions and imagery are spot-on in this chapter. I forced myself to read this post slowly. Didn't want to miss one single detail.
Excellently penned, Bev!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Holy shit, Bev! You pulled out all the stops with this chapter.
Your knowledge of the paranormal shines through. The scene in the library was nothing short of fantastic. The sense of evil was palpable. Very smart of Mia to figure out that the apparition of Catherine was nothing more than a ruse. The smell of gardenias was a brilliant touch, Bev. It did throw me off, but didn't fool Mia!
The very best, however, was the angel fighting back the demon. I think it's masterful how you weave in your character's faith in your stories. We all need God's help in whatever we do. Especially people in the line of work of fighting demons.
Your descriptions and imagery are spot-on in this chapter. I forced myself to read this post slowly. Didn't want to miss one single detail.
Excellently penned, Bev!
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Hi, Marietta. Thank you so much for your very generous review and support for my re-vamped chapter. I'm taking it in a bit darker direction than when I originally penned it, so your support and encouragement means a lot to me. As you say, fighting the negative energies we call demons is not for those without faith in a higher power. I can't imagine doing any of the this kind of work without the help of my faith. The human element might prove to be even more daunting than the ghostly one!
:) Bev
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Sad, but probably true. Humans are more than capable of demonic behavior! (Love the direction you're taking with this story, Bev. You never disappoint!)
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Thanks for the thumbs up, Marietta. It means a lot to me, hope you know.
:)
Comment from CR Delport
I love it when you do these. It is the first time I read it, so for me, it is all new. It is interesting and very well written, and edited :) Good job.
Take care.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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I love it when you do these. It is the first time I read it, so for me, it is all new. It is interesting and very well written, and edited :) Good job.
Take care.
Christelle.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Christelle. I appreciate your interest and support. :) Bev
Comment from barkingdog
This story is fascination. It's filled with tension and mystery of the unknown. I loved your demon's transformation from Catherine and then you added the rescuing angel. Quite a battle.
I feel the character's fear, but the bravely continue.
Just when it looks like the men have Porter tied up and unarmed, a raging dog attacks Norris. What tension, as Mike aims the shotgun and hopes he's not too late.
You have a knack of defining our characters so completely by their actions and dialogue that I had no trouble following who was who even though this is the first chapter I've read.
Excellent piece of writing, my friend.
Suggestions:
-(You can tighten this up a bit) "Tell Mia to hold off calling the police [for now. At least] until we can get a better handle on what's happened here tonight. Also, have her [get out the first aid kit and] bring (the first aid kit) down here."
-Luke retrieved(lifted? --he didn't have to go anywhere to get it) a radio transmitter from his belt and spoke [into it] to dispatch.
- as it burns(ed) into flames.
-The sound penetrated [through] her protective barrier and setting(set) her eardrums vibrating. Her gaze flew(does a gaze fly? How about: Her attention turned to Emma, who sat a few feet away and Mia [could see](saw) shock mirrored in her teammate's face.
- A red mist blurred the lower half of its jaw, but the words that (shew was about to speak) were clear. ( I was wanting to hear the words. Can you add them. Okay I see she speaks in the next paragraph. I altered the sentence a bit since the words didn't follow immediately.)
- "Room's clear for the moment," she thought. (or use italics)
-She grew(did you mean 'drew'?) close enough to touch her
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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This story is fascination. It's filled with tension and mystery of the unknown. I loved your demon's transformation from Catherine and then you added the rescuing angel. Quite a battle.
I feel the character's fear, but the bravely continue.
Just when it looks like the men have Porter tied up and unarmed, a raging dog attacks Norris. What tension, as Mike aims the shotgun and hopes he's not too late.
You have a knack of defining our characters so completely by their actions and dialogue that I had no trouble following who was who even though this is the first chapter I've read.
Excellent piece of writing, my friend.
Suggestions:
-(You can tighten this up a bit) "Tell Mia to hold off calling the police [for now. At least] until we can get a better handle on what's happened here tonight. Also, have her [get out the first aid kit and] bring (the first aid kit) down here."
-Luke retrieved(lifted? --he didn't have to go anywhere to get it) a radio transmitter from his belt and spoke [into it] to dispatch.
- as it burns(ed) into flames.
-The sound penetrated [through] her protective barrier and setting(set) her eardrums vibrating. Her gaze flew(does a gaze fly? How about: Her attention turned to Emma, who sat a few feet away and Mia [could see](saw) shock mirrored in her teammate's face.
- A red mist blurred the lower half of its jaw, but the words that (shew was about to speak) were clear. ( I was wanting to hear the words. Can you add them. Okay I see she speaks in the next paragraph. I altered the sentence a bit since the words didn't follow immediately.)
- "Room's clear for the moment," she thought. (or use italics)
-She grew(did you mean 'drew'?) close enough to touch her
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Hi, Ellen. Thank you so much for your great review. I will take all your editorial suggestions (got quite a few along with yours this morning) and add them in to the chapter. Thanks for all the time you took. I appreciate your help.
:) Bev
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No problemo. :) e
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You have a pretty sharp editorial eye, Ellen. I appreciate being on the receiving end of that.
:) Bev
