Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Part three, Chapter 8"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
87 total reviews
Comment from Spitfire
This is my first read of the story. Good details especially about the indentation made by her head striking the wall. Bringing the parents in will create an added layer. Looks like a promising novel.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
  |
This is my first read of the story. Good details especially about the indentation made by her head striking the wall. Bringing the parents in will create an added layer. Looks like a promising novel.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from writerwish
This is still coming along great. I liked the twist of mother showing up, with this concern for Bobby. I love your dialogue and your showing and not telling examples. Even though I have 75 messages to read, yours was the first. Who will you publish with?
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
|
This is still coming along great. I liked the twist of mother showing up, with this concern for Bobby. I love your dialogue and your showing and not telling examples. Even though I have 75 messages to read, yours was the first. Who will you publish with?
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review. I am still looking for a publisher.
Comment from Karen Payton Holt
A tough read...as it should be.
The unvarnished delivery of such a harrowing relationship cuts to the core, and engaged my emotions.
I felt for Anna, protective even, when Bobbies parents turned up.
A possible grammar glitch for you, [My client neglected to tell me everything." He walked in kitchen, stopped,], 'into' the kitchen?
A well written chapter; a hard hitting storyline, excellently delivered.
Looking forward, very much, to the next instalment.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
|
A tough read...as it should be.
The unvarnished delivery of such a harrowing relationship cuts to the core, and engaged my emotions.
I felt for Anna, protective even, when Bobbies parents turned up.
A possible grammar glitch for you, [My client neglected to tell me everything." He walked in kitchen, stopped,], 'into' the kitchen?
A well written chapter; a hard hitting storyline, excellently delivered.
Looking forward, very much, to the next instalment.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
-
I will check that out. I was taught in school to only use into if you were physically stepping into something, like a bathtub or a car. I appreciate your kind review.
-
Hi Barbara, you are correct in that...it should be 'in to' then maybe??? Just a thought.
-
I haven't found out which is right, but I have had three reviewers point it out.
-
sorry...I meant, 'in to the' kitchen!
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
This was going well until Mrs. Rogers showed up. It is easy to see why Booy had no regard for others. His mother was in complete denial. Even Bobby's father appeared to recognize the truth as he looked at dented wall.
Bobby's lawyer seemed almost ill over the things Bobby never told him. I don't think he will help his client's cause.
I'm glad Anna will soon be through with this hell hole, but I fear Bobby's future actions. He has no conscience.
Great writing as usual but I noted one error: Paul walked [passed ==> past] her. [A common grammatical error.}
Now I expect a confrontation with Bobby, if he can locate Anna.
Love and Irish hugs for a great story.
Roger
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
|
Hi Barbara:)
This was going well until Mrs. Rogers showed up. It is easy to see why Booy had no regard for others. His mother was in complete denial. Even Bobby's father appeared to recognize the truth as he looked at dented wall.
Bobby's lawyer seemed almost ill over the things Bobby never told him. I don't think he will help his client's cause.
I'm glad Anna will soon be through with this hell hole, but I fear Bobby's future actions. He has no conscience.
Great writing as usual but I noted one error: Paul walked [passed ==> past] her. [A common grammatical error.}
Now I expect a confrontation with Bobby, if he can locate Anna.
Love and Irish hugs for a great story.
Roger
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
-
I already wrote reply, I guess I forgot to save it. Brooke usually takes care of my passed and past. I always get them mixed up. Thank you for your kind review and insight. Hugs back at you.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
I think you did a great job on this one.
It seemed very realistic and when you had Bobby's parents there and the witchy mother I thought it was a great addition....
Overall great work, perfect flow as always..
Loved it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
|
I think you did a great job on this one.
It seemed very realistic and when you had Bobby's parents there and the witchy mother I thought it was a great addition....
Overall great work, perfect flow as always..
Loved it.
Maureen
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
-
Thak you for the kind review.
Comment from JW
In reading your well written story, I could not help but wonder how many in life see things through rose colored glasses> How many refuse to accept the truth? Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
|
In reading your well written story, I could not help but wonder how many in life see things through rose colored glasses> How many refuse to accept the truth? Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I admit it, I don't like the mother. I found the protection of her son was irritating. You did a great job bringing out my emotions.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
 |
I admit it, I don't like the mother. I found the protection of her son was irritating. You did a great job bringing out my emotions.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
-
Good, I didn't want anybody to like the mother. We will see her again. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from MS Writer
Parents certainly turn a blind eye to what their children do. I guess this is typical behaviour in a case such as this. Your story is eye opening and I'm enjoyig it tremendously. Gladd you had an enjoyable vacation.
Michele
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
|
Parents certainly turn a blind eye to what their children do. I guess this is typical behaviour in a case such as this. Your story is eye opening and I'm enjoyig it tremendously. Gladd you had an enjoyable vacation.
Michele
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
-
Thank your for your kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
Hello, and thanks for posting in the middle of the week. Are you back from Vacation? Bobby's mother is real bitch and a piece of work. I feel either her or her husband are abusive because Bobby learned that behavior somewhere unless the mother is a real bitch who ruled the roost and run-roughshod over her spineless husband and her son grew to hate women because of her. You chapter was very realistic. I could feel Anna's deep feelings and her emotional scars. Her creepy soon to be ex and his hateful mother are thorns in her side and they'll never get up until either she's dead or they get hold of Anna's son. You descriptive writing is fantastic. This chapter so deserves a six, my friend. I look forward to reading more. I really like Anna, but I loath her soon to be ex and his mother. Oh, abusive men and women chap my hide because of personal experience growing up with verbal and mental abuse. Keep on writing with heart, my friend. Have a happy day.
Mellissa.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
|
Barbara,
Hello, and thanks for posting in the middle of the week. Are you back from Vacation? Bobby's mother is real bitch and a piece of work. I feel either her or her husband are abusive because Bobby learned that behavior somewhere unless the mother is a real bitch who ruled the roost and run-roughshod over her spineless husband and her son grew to hate women because of her. You chapter was very realistic. I could feel Anna's deep feelings and her emotional scars. Her creepy soon to be ex and his hateful mother are thorns in her side and they'll never get up until either she's dead or they get hold of Anna's son. You descriptive writing is fantastic. This chapter so deserves a six, my friend. I look forward to reading more. I really like Anna, but I loath her soon to be ex and his mother. Oh, abusive men and women chap my hide because of personal experience growing up with verbal and mental abuse. Keep on writing with heart, my friend. Have a happy day.
Mellissa.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
-
Thank you for your encouraging words and insight. It's always a pleasure to hear from you.
Comment from Connie P
Just when I thought I couldn't get any madder at this situation his nosy mother shows up. That's very classic too of course, can't fact the fact that her offspring is a monster. My skin is crawling. Good job!!
Connie
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
|
Just when I thought I couldn't get any madder at this situation his nosy mother shows up. That's very classic too of course, can't fact the fact that her offspring is a monster. My skin is crawling. Good job!!
Connie
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review. The mother will continue to cause problems.
