I Hereby Crown Thee ...
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "By Nightmare's Dark Decree"A collection of crowns of sonnets
115 total reviews
Comment from Dannylink2007
Excellent poetry! It was fantastic both in appearance AND quality. It was a pleasure to read, and overall, great job! I can't wait to read more of your work!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
  |
Excellent poetry! It was fantastic both in appearance AND quality. It was a pleasure to read, and overall, great job! I can't wait to read more of your work!
Comment Written 18-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
-
Thanks, Danny - I'm thrilled you enjoyed the read so much :-).
Mike
Comment from anna99
Mike, the poem is outstanding. I have studied dream interpretation and dream psychology for some time and I find your way of expressing this in the poem is really good.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
|
Mike, the poem is outstanding. I have studied dream interpretation and dream psychology for some time and I find your way of expressing this in the poem is really good.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Anna - it's a fascinating field. I've always found that my dreams dwindle to nothing when I'm writing regularly, so I put it down to self expression.
Mike
Comment from Kevin C
I want to thank you first for teaching me about Crown Sonnets. You read, Rhyme and flow makes this wonderful to read. I think if you were worried about length it doesn't matter because both subject and writing is so well done. Dreams can be frightful and dictate you nights, you capture this so well. Thank you for sharing a great read in sonnet form. Excellent.
Kevin
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
|
I want to thank you first for teaching me about Crown Sonnets. You read, Rhyme and flow makes this wonderful to read. I think if you were worried about length it doesn't matter because both subject and writing is so well done. Dreams can be frightful and dictate you nights, you capture this so well. Thank you for sharing a great read in sonnet form. Excellent.
Kevin
Comment Written 18-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
-
Thanks, Kevin :-). I'm really glad you enjoyed the read, and grateful to you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me.
Mike
Comment from Herb
A very good write in my opinion. The metre seemed spot on and the whole piece had a dream like quality. The style of your writing I think lends well to the dream theme as the meaning can be hard to follow. Your a great poet my friend.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
|
A very good write in my opinion. The metre seemed spot on and the whole piece had a dream like quality. The style of your writing I think lends well to the dream theme as the meaning can be hard to follow. Your a great poet my friend.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Herb - what a great review :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed the read.
Mike
Comment from Amicus
Excellent Crown of Sonnets, Mike. The vividness of imagery and the superb flow of sound makes this one a cut above the rest. Your vulnerability nightmare obviously is an old "friend" in your life and is full of surrealistic details with haunting significance to you which is well conveyed here. Funny how the human mind works things through for us while we are sleeping, isn't it. Using this long complicated repetitive/linked form to convey a long complex nightmare that is repetitive and linked (as all dreams are) to something going on in your life whenever it comes up is a smart touch and effective here.
Good stuff...a poem well worth reading and reading again so I am off to do just that now.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
|
Excellent Crown of Sonnets, Mike. The vividness of imagery and the superb flow of sound makes this one a cut above the rest. Your vulnerability nightmare obviously is an old "friend" in your life and is full of surrealistic details with haunting significance to you which is well conveyed here. Funny how the human mind works things through for us while we are sleeping, isn't it. Using this long complicated repetitive/linked form to convey a long complex nightmare that is repetitive and linked (as all dreams are) to something going on in your life whenever it comes up is a smart touch and effective here.
Good stuff...a poem well worth reading and reading again so I am off to do just that now.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Amicus! You've seen through to the heart of my thinking here. I was looking for an excuse to write another crown of sonnets, and then I remembered talking to Rasp E about my old recurring nightmare, and it all fell into place :-)
Mike
Comment from moyramouse
I find it hard enough to write one sonnet, let alone seven that link!
BRAVO, Mike, to sustain the iambic pentameter and rhyme, the provide a turn in each of the third stanzas and the couplets that sum up each part is a triumph indeed. Full of strong images, alliteration and assonance. The personification of the cardboard in'.... I can't abide
the cardboard's droll and dust-affected touch ' whilst it stretches belief, it also expands the terror of the nightmare when such bizarre events invade your dreams.
I'm lost between the lines of terror's tropes, - good alliteration with lost/lines and terror's tropes ( great word choice too)
My favourite stanza is:
Bereft of chance, I grasp loss without hands,
and plunge into an ocean full of stone.
As gravel fills my lungs and air is sand,
cold rock becomes my world, replacing bone.
Full of wonderful metaphor giving us the full force of the nightmare.
Recurring dreams are disturbing and this must be up there with the best.
I'm glad it doesn;t happen as often as it once did.
A brilliant piece of work. xxxmouse
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
 |
I find it hard enough to write one sonnet, let alone seven that link!
BRAVO, Mike, to sustain the iambic pentameter and rhyme, the provide a turn in each of the third stanzas and the couplets that sum up each part is a triumph indeed. Full of strong images, alliteration and assonance. The personification of the cardboard in'.... I can't abide
the cardboard's droll and dust-affected touch ' whilst it stretches belief, it also expands the terror of the nightmare when such bizarre events invade your dreams.
I'm lost between the lines of terror's tropes, - good alliteration with lost/lines and terror's tropes ( great word choice too)
My favourite stanza is:
Bereft of chance, I grasp loss without hands,
and plunge into an ocean full of stone.
As gravel fills my lungs and air is sand,
cold rock becomes my world, replacing bone.
Full of wonderful metaphor giving us the full force of the nightmare.
Recurring dreams are disturbing and this must be up there with the best.
I'm glad it doesn;t happen as often as it once did.
A brilliant piece of work. xxxmouse
Comment Written 18-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
-
Thank you so much :-). I love writing in iambic meter, and a crown is like the challenge I can't resist! I think it's the very strangeness that makes this old foe so frightening. Boxes and boulders, syringes and gravel, flying wothout control... Not scary in themselves, but utterly petrifying when I'm stuck in the middle of them!
I'm so happy you enjoyed the read :-).
Mike
Comment from Yellow Butterfly
This is a good form. I like the repeating lines. I got lost from the beginning with barren dreams. For me barren means empty, void, but then you go on to describe nightmares very vividly and with lots of great metaphors. Maybe it is just me but barren doesn't seem to fit. If you are trying to describe dream devoid of happiness barren would work if you made that clear. I really like all of the dark imagery and think this is well written. I like your use of language and that you used very deep metaphors. Very well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
 |
This is a good form. I like the repeating lines. I got lost from the beginning with barren dreams. For me barren means empty, void, but then you go on to describe nightmares very vividly and with lots of great metaphors. Maybe it is just me but barren doesn't seem to fit. If you are trying to describe dream devoid of happiness barren would work if you made that clear. I really like all of the dark imagery and think this is well written. I like your use of language and that you used very deep metaphors. Very well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Yellow Butterfly :-). I can certainly see how the barren may confuse. I used it because the dream always opens on a barren landscape, bereft of all but dust and darkness. Then the elements will appear in a manner suggesting they have always existed, and my perceptions have changed. Perhaps I need to make that more clear in the beginning. Thanks for the kind words.
Mike
Comment from honeytree
The art work is just right for these very powerful words.
These ""barren dreams" tell us so much and I would be
petrified by any nightmare.
The words have been brilliantly written, and the words very
telling and creative.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
|
The art work is just right for these very powerful words.
These ""barren dreams" tell us so much and I would be
petrified by any nightmare.
The words have been brilliantly written, and the words very
telling and creative.
Honey tree
Comment Written 18-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Honeytree :-). I'm glad you appreciated my piece.
Mike
Comment from Rose Hearth
I love the way that the you were able to workd one 'section' of the dream into each sonnet, effecting a great transition from one scene to the next. If it helps, I've had some success with guided dreaming techniques to reduce the affects of night terrors.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
|
I love the way that the you were able to workd one 'section' of the dream into each sonnet, effecting a great transition from one scene to the next. If it helps, I've had some success with guided dreaming techniques to reduce the affects of night terrors.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Rose :-). I've had this one since I was very young, but it's pretty rare now, thankfully! It felt good to get it out on paper (well, screen anyway!).
Mike
Comment from DionysusDeVille
Sounds like the worst nightmare anyone could ever have. This was deep and has an extensive vocabulary fit for a college professor. Great job
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
|
Sounds like the worst nightmare anyone could ever have. This was deep and has an extensive vocabulary fit for a college professor. Great job
Comment Written 18-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Kirby, for the awesome compliment :-). It's an old foe of mine, this dream, but one that rarely plagues me these days.
Mike
