Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

Hi Bev. I anxiously await the posting of the next chapter. Looks like Charles Bellingham doesn't like to be disturbed and is used to having his own way, even in his ghostly state. He has lots of nasty surprises for this team, and this is just beginning of the story.

Excellent descriptions. This would make a great movie.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015

Hi, Debi

Great to hear from you! Thanks so much for taking time to get caught up with my series. I'm not able to post again until I get my computer back. I bought a IPod nano and tried to download it to my non-Mac computer and all hell broke loose. It's in the shop being tended to. I'm using my husband's laptop to keep up with reviewing.

Your great insights are really helpful and most encouraging, my friend. Yes, Charles is a bad'un, but there's something even worse out there waiting for the Team. Thanks again!

:) Bev

reply by w.j.debi on 27-Jun-2015

So sorry to hear about your computer. Stories like this always make me wonder how in sci if movies the scientists can work out alien computer when we can not even get a PC and a Mac to communicate.

I hope the computer guys get it worked out for you soon.

Glad to hear summer has arrived. Enjoy it while you can.

And you say there is something even worse than Charles. Know if I recall something did keep him locked in a room in an earlier chapter. Hmmm...

reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015

It's really my fault on the computer issue, Debi, because I didn't want to wait for my husband to come home and walk me through it. My impatience is one of my worst faults.

Though it's been a while coming, I really don't mind the cooler weather we had this June. I'm not really a hot weather person.

I took a blogging class for writers a couple of weeks back. We were provided with Mac books for the class. I found out I really don't care for them despite all the hoopla. Everything felt backwards to me. And, I would have bought another music device, but they really have the best one for the price.
Have you ever done any blogging? The one we learned was through Google Chrome and is called Blogger. It has a lot of possibilities and, maybe, when I actually have something ready for sending off to a publisher, I'll get it up and running. All the writing magazines encourage it, but you have to be willing to keep it up to date. One more thing to feel guilty about. Ha!

reply by w.j.debi on 27-Jun-2015

I keep hearing as a writer I should have blog and a website. As you say, more keep to keep up on. It's on my list of "must do's". Someday in the future...

reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015

The blogging is, I think, very similar to developing a website, at least the ones that are not expensive. The nice thing about Blogger is that it's completely free at this point in time. If you decide to start a blog and run into any problems, feel free to pick my little pea-brain, Debi. :) Bev

Comment from AprilShower

Exceptional

Wow! I love the way you write, my friend. This flows beautifully and while reading, I felt like I was there. I haven't been here for a while as you know. Did you get your last book published?

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015

Hi, April. Welcome Back! Just last week, I was wondering about you and hoping you were okay. Does this mean you'll begin posting again--sure hope so.

Thanks for the very generous review and your encouragement. I'm busy editing my Jericho Road novel. Amazing what you see needs changing through the eyes of a professional. So, it's both humbling and exciting. I appreciate you asking.

:) Bev

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Hello, my dear Bev,

I'm quite amazed at the ease with which you switch from genre to genre in your concurrent writes.

I think your paranormal writings have a stamp of authenticity to them. You background makes the story all that more believable and real.

I'm so glad to have a free evening to review. I've missed 'chatting' to you.

Rosie and I met for our weekly coffee-and-dream on Tuesday afternoon. We built castles in the air about visiting Fanstory friends the world over. First stop - you and Marietta, of course!

Hope all's well with you, my friend.

Love,

Sonali xxx




Holding up her (cellphone)(comma not needed) Mia warned,

"so we can assess Porter(')s condition

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015

Hi, Sonali

Thanks for the grand review and suggestions. It's a bit of a curse that I have absolutely no problem starting new projects--but the finishing sometimes eludes me.

I haven't had a chance yet to check out your blog, but plan to do that very soon.

Marietta and I took a class yesterday on blogging for the artists and writers. It was all geared toward a Google blog, and how many options are available. I couldn't attend the second, more advanced one today, but Marietta is. As you can probably guess, she's right in her element. I'm sure she'll be launching it soon.

I'd be absolutely thrilled to show off the beautiful area I live in, especially for two people I so enjoy!

Have a great weekend,

Hugs, Bev

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

Very good chapter. It was active and full of tension and kept me interested in what I was reading. The characters and dialogue are believable. Great job. Shirley

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015

Hi, Shirley. Thanks very much for this generous and encouraging review. I really appreciate you reading!

:) Bev

Comment from Aussie

Excellent

'boonies' meaning boon docks or we would say out in the sticks? That nasty old son of Casper, Charles Bellingham. Once again you have peeked my interest in the paranormal (what's normal?) I really enjoy reading your stories and wait in joyful hope of Casper coming around the next mansion. Well done mate.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015

Hi, Kay. Thanks for the generous and most encouraging review. I appreciate your faithful following of my novel. There's lots more action coming up, though I think I need to have the Team decompress a bit LoL.

Yes, boonies is what we say in my part of the Midwest when you're referring to 'out in the sticks'. You describe it better than I did.

:) Bev

reply by Aussie on 11-Jun-2015

I is a quick learner for an old fart! :-)xx

Comment from Dawn Munro

Exceptional

Well, now, that is certainly a cliff hanger ending! Seeing what? Don't be too long with the next bit, you hear? (LOL) Wow. You sure know how to keep your readers on the edge of their seats. Not a comma out of place that I noticed either

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015

Hi, Dawn. Thanks for the very generous review. Your encouragement and support mean a lot to me!

I promise to get on the stick with the next one LoL.

Hugs, Bev

Comment from amahra

Excellent

This was a very nice and exciting installment. I really liked where the story is heading. Great job of descriptive writing, genuine dialogue, a metaphoric phrasing.


Mike's eyes were dark holes in his face, casting him in a slightly sinister light. [like this line very much.]

He stooped to pick it up but fell back as it burst into flames. [like this as an ending including the last dialogue.]

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015

Hi, Amahara. Thank you for this very kind and generous review. I appreciate your faithful reading of the chapters! :) Bev

Comment from RGstar

Exceptional

so glad I saved a six for this one, my friend. I have been away a while and just briefly in and out, so pleased I caught one of your works.
I don't know exactly how Charles Bellingham's ghost connects to the shooting, having missed some chapters, but I aim to catch up.

''The blast sounded closer than the first one and set the foyer's chandelier in motion. The tinkling of the crystal tones was overshadowed by a violent shouting coming from beyond the massive bulk of the house's main staircase.''

I like the imaginative usage of the periphery...so important in a good write. Imagery in abundance created by using the small detail many authors overlook.

Well, you left the reader in no uncertain terms how the next chapter is going to begin.
Bravo.
Excellent write. You kept the action constant but didn't overpower the moment.

I look forward to catching up. It is always a good to read from you.
Best wishes,
RG

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015

Hi, RG

So kind of you to review my chapter and offer such helpful insights. I always find your reviews to be filled with nuggets of advice and wisdom Thank you very much for your support and generosity, my friend.

:) Bev

Comment from Mastery

Exceptional

Hi, Bev. You are incredible. Such good writing from start to finish, my friend:

"Emma ducked under Mike's outstretched arm. He lunged for her jacket hood, but his hands came up empty as she charged through the doorway telegraphing their position to the shooter. Determined to stop her momentum, he circled Emma's waist with his arm and forced her to the floor."

Also: "It's Jenkins Porter, the stupid bastard. He started blasting away when I came through the door. Lucky for me, he's drunk, or I might be a dead man right now. His gun went off a second time while I was wrestling it from his hands. I'm not sorry to say that he's lying there bleeding all over the floor from where I bashed him over the head with it."

And further: His eyes were slits of anger and, to Mike's mind, telegraphed a clear warning."

Good images all, Bev. Your story is well developed so far and I know your revisions will make you happy. Blessings. Keep up the good work. Bob

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015

Hi, Bob. Thank you so much for the wonderful words of encouragement and your generosity, my friend. I can't tell you how much it means coming from a writer with the kind of talent you possess. I'm enjoying the story a bit more the second time around and, yes, the revisions are making me much happier with the result :)

Blessings and kind regards,

Bev

Comment from Look4depth

Excellent

You open with a great paragraph setting the scene well.

However, I'm curious, what is the position to the shooter?

Mike recognized a protective gesture, but you saying that without stating it, maybe by describing what is she protecting? Explaining instead of telling is always more powerful.

You have a lot of good imagery and the dialogue moves your story.

I hope my suggestions are helpful.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015

Thanks Look4depth. I strive to balance the showing and telling because I think either method can be overdone. For instance, I prefer to leave it to the imagination of the reader to picture and recognize what I call a protective gesture. I'm assuming they're smart enough to figure that one out.

I appreciate the review and suggestions.

WFD