Paranormal Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Under Fire"Case Studies of Hauntings
57 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Wow! Your chapters always end with an incident to insight curiosity and urge the reader to read on quickly, Bev. This one had plenty of action to entertain us and I'm glad no one got badly injured, Giddy
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Wow! Your chapters always end with an incident to insight curiosity and urge the reader to read on quickly, Bev. This one had plenty of action to entertain us and I'm glad no one got badly injured, Giddy
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much, Giddy. I appreciate you keeping up with my story. Your generosity and support mean a lot to me.
The action is going to get a bit more intense before the team takes a break to figure out where they stand.
:) Bev
Comment from boxergirl
Lots of tension in this scene...great descriptive details and realistic dialogue. I think I would have been as apprehensive as Mia and the device exploding into flames would have sent me to the house!
8-)
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Lots of tension in this scene...great descriptive details and realistic dialogue. I think I would have been as apprehensive as Mia and the device exploding into flames would have sent me to the house!
8-)
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Hi, BG. Thanks so much for this great review. I really appreciate your continuing to follow again, and as always,
your support and encouragement.
I've found with ghosts that you have to stand your ground. Those who were bullies in life often go into the next life
with the same tendencies. Only they have a little more ammunition!
:) Bev
Comment from irishauthorme
Fast moving and full of twists and surprises! See you edited again, never hurts and if you are like I am, you find things that will embellish your story and add to the meaning.
although you employ the supernatural, your story still reads as plausible, something many fantasy writers miss, going overboard with improbable creatures and happenings.
Good work,
irish
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Fast moving and full of twists and surprises! See you edited again, never hurts and if you are like I am, you find things that will embellish your story and add to the meaning.
although you employ the supernatural, your story still reads as plausible, something many fantasy writers miss, going overboard with improbable creatures and happenings.
Good work,
irish
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Hi, Irish. Thanks for the compliment on my balancing act. I appreciate your insight and your generosity.
Even when I post, someone will come along and mention something that needs changing. I'm always
glad when folks take the time to read in depth, as you have.
Take care,
Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A great, intriguing chapter, Bev - so well
written, making it easy to follow.
"What was that, Luke? You're break..." An ungodly screeching sound drowned out the rest of Mia's response sending shockwaves of pain into Luke's brain and causing him to drop the transmitter. Once the device left his hands, the pain eased up. He stooped to pick it up but fell back as it burst into flames. DOES THIS MEAN A GHOST'S AT WORK??
Great writing, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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A great, intriguing chapter, Bev - so well
written, making it easy to follow.
"What was that, Luke? You're break..." An ungodly screeching sound drowned out the rest of Mia's response sending shockwaves of pain into Luke's brain and causing him to drop the transmitter. Once the device left his hands, the pain eased up. He stooped to pick it up but fell back as it burst into flames. DOES THIS MEAN A GHOST'S AT WORK??
Great writing, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much, Margaret. I'll reveal more about what's happening in the next chapter, but yes a powerful
entity can cause havoc with electrical devices.
Much appreciated,
Bev
Comment from thee-name
Excellent chapter. Seen no mistakes. Writing was interesting.
"Why don't we call for help? We're not armed and could make matters worse,"Mia interjected.
"There's no time for that," Luke replied." Remember we're out in the boonies."
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Excellent chapter. Seen no mistakes. Writing was interesting.
"Why don't we call for help? We're not armed and could make matters worse,"Mia interjected.
"There's no time for that," Luke replied." Remember we're out in the boonies."
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Hi, T. Thank you for your excellent review and support for this chapter. I appreciate your support.
:) Bev
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thank you!
Comment from celticeagle
I always say a writer needs to grip the reader immediately. You certainly did that. I am such a picky ready. If it doesn't grab me I am gone. Well your work does it. I think there is still some room to smooth out some rough edges so the writing flows a little more smoothly and is a better read that way. Nothing major. You have done some very nice work and I look forward to seeing more of your work. (I will try not to skip ahead hehe)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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I always say a writer needs to grip the reader immediately. You certainly did that. I am such a picky ready. If it doesn't grab me I am gone. Well your work does it. I think there is still some room to smooth out some rough edges so the writing flows a little more smoothly and is a better read that way. Nothing major. You have done some very nice work and I look forward to seeing more of your work. (I will try not to skip ahead hehe)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thank you, celticeagle. I appreciate your comments and review. However, I'm left scratching my head: what exactly do you think could be made more 'smooth'? Given the level of your rating, taking the time to be specific is encouraged. At least I can choose to accept, or not, your suggestions.
:) Bev
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I am at a point now where I only have five stars to give out. So the five stars is now the six. I never give six unless it is extremely good with no errors of any kind. I would say that using more descriptive words and such would make the work more compelling. I review from the gut, from my experience and what I know I like to read. I'm sorry if my review wasn't indepth enough and didn't have the star count you wanted. Can't make everyone happy all the time.
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Thank you for the specifics, C. I'm not looking for you to raise the stars. I'm looking for ways to possibly improve the story. I'll go back in and take a look along the lines of your suggestion.
WFD
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I am at a point now where I only have five stars to give out. So the five stars is now the six. I never give six unless it is extremely good with no errors of any kind. I would say that using more descriptive words and such would make the work more compelling. I review from the gut, from my experience and what I know I like to read. I'm sorry if my review wasn't indepth enough and didn't have the star count you wanted. Can't make everyone happy all the time.
Comment from Adri7enne
Good reading, Bev. You'll have me believing in ghosts if I'm not careful. Can't have that. I live alone. LOL!
Good flowing prose, which takes us from scene to scene, with good tension and good plot development. I was glad when the lights came on. LOL! Well done, Bev.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Good reading, Bev. You'll have me believing in ghosts if I'm not careful. Can't have that. I live alone. LOL!
Good flowing prose, which takes us from scene to scene, with good tension and good plot development. I was glad when the lights came on. LOL! Well done, Bev.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Hi, Adrienne. I'm honored by your very generous rating and words of encouragement. Thanks for your support and insights--always appreciated.
:) Bev
Comment from Joan E.
I particularly liked your action-packing opening of this chapter and your apt analogy to "lifeguard instincts" plus your adding sound effects like the "tinkling of the crystal tones". The flaming "transmitter" at the end was very dramatic. To be continued...
Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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I particularly liked your action-packing opening of this chapter and your apt analogy to "lifeguard instincts" plus your adding sound effects like the "tinkling of the crystal tones". The flaming "transmitter" at the end was very dramatic. To be continued...
Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thanks much for reading, Joan. I appreciate your support and generosity.
Hugs, Bev
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Good morning from California! It's always a pleasure to read your work. I forgot to mention how intriguing your parallel, picture selection was--lucky you to find it on FanArt. Have a productive week- Joan
Comment from misscookie
You captured my attention from the first line to the last.
I like how your writing flows, and there is never a dull moment which is great.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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You captured my attention from the first line to the last.
I like how your writing flows, and there is never a dull moment which is great.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Hi, Cookie. Thank you for both the compliment and the very generous rating. I'm so glad you liked my latest
chapter.
:) Bev
Comment from CR Delport
Like I said before. For me, this is all new :) It is interesting and very well written. Your characters react very natural to the situations and the dialogue is great. good job.
Take care.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Like I said before. For me, this is all new :) It is interesting and very well written. Your characters react very natural to the situations and the dialogue is great. good job.
Take care.
Christelle.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much, Christelle. I really appreciate your continued support and interest. :) Bev
