Paranormal Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Lean on Me"Case Studies of Hauntings
56 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Well, doesn't this chapter end with a bang, Bev! I am getting really anxious about Mia and Mike now, as they get closer to the danger in the Manor. It's very intriguing the way the tension mounts at this stage, Giddy
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Well, doesn't this chapter end with a bang, Bev! I am getting really anxious about Mia and Mike now, as they get closer to the danger in the Manor. It's very intriguing the way the tension mounts at this stage, Giddy
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Hi, Giddy. Thank you for your very kind review! Your support and encouragement mean a lot to me.
Yup, lots of action coming up. It will, I hope, be hair-raising LoL.
Hugs,
Bev
Comment from Shirley McLain
An exciting chapter that is well written. You get the reader's attention and hold it to the very end. The characters and dialogue are appropriate. Good job. Shirley
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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An exciting chapter that is well written. You get the reader's attention and hold it to the very end. The characters and dialogue are appropriate. Good job. Shirley
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Hi, Shirley. Thank you so much for this really generous review. Your support and encouragement mean a lot to me!
:) Bev
Comment from boxergirl
Great job, Bev. Your descriptive details and dialogue are realistic and engaging. I know one thing is for sure; I don't want to be a ghost buster, especially the demon kind. Yikes!
Blessings.
Karen
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Great job, Bev. Your descriptive details and dialogue are realistic and engaging. I know one thing is for sure; I don't want to be a ghost buster, especially the demon kind. Yikes!
Blessings.
Karen
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Hi, BG. Thanks for the grand review. I appreciate the support.
:) Bev
Comment from Jay Squires
Good chapter with two of the crew having "visitations". Tense, and handled slowly to give the reader the full benefit.
A couple of things:
Allow me to offer a little suggestion, Bev: on the suggestion not to read ahead, consider putting that at the end of the actual text, in large font and in an attention-getting color (and add that it isn't promoted). See how I do it in my "Critter" series. The reason is, in my experience so few people read the Author Notes.
Emma place a bottle of water in her hands, [Emma PLACED a bottle...]
and menacing-- that much he knew. [Don't space after the double dash. I think it's a fluke. You do it correctly later.]
Looking up at the thick gray clouds smothering the moon, [Yes!]
Great chapter, Bev. I'm so glad you give the summary before the chapter. I sometimes need a briefing.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Good chapter with two of the crew having "visitations". Tense, and handled slowly to give the reader the full benefit.
A couple of things:
Allow me to offer a little suggestion, Bev: on the suggestion not to read ahead, consider putting that at the end of the actual text, in large font and in an attention-getting color (and add that it isn't promoted). See how I do it in my "Critter" series. The reason is, in my experience so few people read the Author Notes.
Emma place a bottle of water in her hands, [Emma PLACED a bottle...]
and menacing-- that much he knew. [Don't space after the double dash. I think it's a fluke. You do it correctly later.]
Looking up at the thick gray clouds smothering the moon, [Yes!]
Great chapter, Bev. I'm so glad you give the summary before the chapter. I sometimes need a briefing.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thanks for the grand review, Jay. I appreciate your attention and insights. Always helpful:)
The dash is an editing issue with the site. It comes at the end of a sentence and there's nothing I, apparently, can do to change that. But thanks anyway.
Bev
Comment from Gunner Lil
A fantastic chapter. Had the reader wanting more and more. You painted a great picture with your words, showing and not telling. The pace of the tale is great
and your dialogue is super.
Thank you for an easy read.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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A fantastic chapter. Had the reader wanting more and more. You painted a great picture with your words, showing and not telling. The pace of the tale is great
and your dialogue is super.
Thank you for an easy read.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Hi, Gunner Lil. Nice to hear from and get your supportive insights. I appreciate you mentioning what worked in the chapter--always helpful :)
Thanks for the grand review.
Bev
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, writingfundimension, I am glad you're reposting this as I missed out on a lot the first time around. I enjoyed reading this one. I like how mike was drawn to mia.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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this is an excellent write, writingfundimension, I am glad you're reposting this as I missed out on a lot the first time around. I enjoyed reading this one. I like how mike was drawn to mia.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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So nice to hear from you, Sweet. Thanks so much for taking time to review. I appreciate your encouragement and support.
:) Bev
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is extremely well written and completely believable as from experience it is fact based in every episode you depict. I saw only one typo for you to look at: "then looked over his own shouder" - should be shoulder I think. The story is riveting and I loved the reference to Archangel Michael as most folks are not aware of his power of protection when dealing with demonic influences - although we have yet to learn whether or not that is the case. Nicely done and I thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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This is extremely well written and completely believable as from experience it is fact based in every episode you depict. I saw only one typo for you to look at: "then looked over his own shouder" - should be shoulder I think. The story is riveting and I loved the reference to Archangel Michael as most folks are not aware of his power of protection when dealing with demonic influences - although we have yet to learn whether or not that is the case. Nicely done and I thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Hi, Mystic Angel
Great to hear from you! Thanks for the grand review and insights. I also appreciate you catching that spaggie. Will get right on that.
I'm glad you liked the reference to Archangel Michael who is a powerful advocate for all humankind. I call on 'his' energy regularly!
:) Bev
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Good list of characters and background information help to create interest in this story you have written. As does an easy to follow story line.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Good list of characters and background information help to create interest in this story you have written. As does an easy to follow story line.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thanks so much, Brett. Appreciate your review and insights.
Comment from Joy Graham
"Puffing thoughtfully and watching his cigarette smoke crawl an imaginary staircase to heaven, he finally answered Luke." - this sentence gave me a vision of my own, Bev. It reminded me of my own dearly departed brother. He used to blow smoke rings. Oh how I miss him. The memory was wonderful. Thank you!
This is a great story, Bev! I am so happy to be reading it :) The ghost hunting shows just don't do it for me. Your story is exactly what I enjoy!
Have you ever sent your writing in to a publisher?
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012
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"Puffing thoughtfully and watching his cigarette smoke crawl an imaginary staircase to heaven, he finally answered Luke." - this sentence gave me a vision of my own, Bev. It reminded me of my own dearly departed brother. He used to blow smoke rings. Oh how I miss him. The memory was wonderful. Thank you!
This is a great story, Bev! I am so happy to be reading it :) The ghost hunting shows just don't do it for me. Your story is exactly what I enjoy!
Have you ever sent your writing in to a publisher?
Comment Written 25-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012
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Thanks for the great compliment, Joy. Wow, you have definitely lifted my, excuse the pun, spirits today! HAHAHA Xxx Bev
Comment from Paradox Tremors
More trouble ... this won't be a easy night for any member of the team. Hopefully the shotgun wasn't aimed at any of them but at a fallen icicle perhaps by the groundskeeper. The flow is wonderfully smooth with any hitch. Well done.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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More trouble ... this won't be a easy night for any member of the team. Hopefully the shotgun wasn't aimed at any of them but at a fallen icicle perhaps by the groundskeeper. The flow is wonderfully smooth with any hitch. Well done.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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Hi, PT. I'm finally getting them into the house (Yippee). Though the ghostly activity is not quite as obvious, it will be cropping up in more ways in the future writes. I really appreciate you taking time out on your Sunday, to look at my chapters and send along your wonderful reviews. You're awesome! Kind regards, Bev
