Collision Course
It's not enough to say you care...27 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
a scant number of mom's gathered - moms
enjoy the family that runs it; and try to help - no punctuation needed in this compound verb phrase
She slumped back in her seat, taking - add comma
the girls' eyes met mine - girl's - singular possessive
I love the way you tie together the teen mother and the goose mother
What a most thought-provoking conclusion to your memoir story. Brooke
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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a scant number of mom's gathered - moms
enjoy the family that runs it; and try to help - no punctuation needed in this compound verb phrase
She slumped back in her seat, taking - add comma
the girls' eyes met mine - girl's - singular possessive
I love the way you tie together the teen mother and the goose mother
What a most thought-provoking conclusion to your memoir story. Brooke
Comment Written 13-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Okay, I had no excuses for the SPAG's. I was too hasty in putting this out...so thanks for your generosity given I should know better. Maybe I need to take your first level over again! I'll make the changes pronto. Thanks so much for taking time out to help me make the story better and for your interest. Brooke. I really do appreciate you! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from livingwords
This is an excellent write. Your voice is quite natural bringing the reader to your side. One nit near the end Encouters vs encounters. Well, nobody is perfect. Lol dan :))
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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This is an excellent write. Your voice is quite natural bringing the reader to your side. One nit near the end Encouters vs encounters. Well, nobody is perfect. Lol dan :))
Comment Written 13-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi, Dan. Thanks much for catching the SPAG. I really appreciate your generous and supportive review. Thanks for taking time to read my essay! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Bellringer
Bev, Wonderfully written and riveting essay. Your opening lines were filled with tension and drew me in. You were honest and clear in your observations. I appreciate your message about listening to that small voice from within. These opportunities to touch another life with random kindness comes upon us unawares. The Spirit may have been using this moment to maintain your alertness, or your gift and to shed unimportant cares--the geese and young girl may have been tools used by the Spirit to accomplish this. Another moment may be waiting "down the road." Blessings, Hector
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Bev, Wonderfully written and riveting essay. Your opening lines were filled with tension and drew me in. You were honest and clear in your observations. I appreciate your message about listening to that small voice from within. These opportunities to touch another life with random kindness comes upon us unawares. The Spirit may have been using this moment to maintain your alertness, or your gift and to shed unimportant cares--the geese and young girl may have been tools used by the Spirit to accomplish this. Another moment may be waiting "down the road." Blessings, Hector
Comment Written 13-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi, Hector. You have a prescient gift, my friend. Just today, I was given a second chance. I believe that Spirit wants us to succeed, and I didn't let him down this time. I so appreciate your beautiful review, my friend; and am touched by your graciousness and generosity. One of the greatest gifts of this past year on the site has been to have the opportunity to connect deeply through writing and support with wonderful folks like you. I am truly blessed. Warmest regards, Bev
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I am honored to be your fan and friend. Blessings, Hector
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I feel the same, Hector.
Comment from IndianaIrish
I can understand how something like this will remain etched in your brain forever, Bev. What a grand message. You've written this in your excellent style that keeps the reader right there with you. Excellent.
Karyn :>)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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I can understand how something like this will remain etched in your brain forever, Bev. What a grand message. You've written this in your excellent style that keeps the reader right there with you. Excellent.
Karyn :>)
Comment Written 13-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi, Karyn. Thank you for your wonderful comments. I really appreciate the support, my friend. You are always so thoughtful and generous! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from JW
This was an interesting story,Bev. It serves as a good reminder that we always need to be prepared for the unexpected. Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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This was an interesting story,Bev. It serves as a good reminder that we always need to be prepared for the unexpected. Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 13-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi, Jonathon. Thanks for your great review. I appreciate you stopping by! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from patwannabe
I feel your pain. Years ago in a thrift store, I had a chance to help a young man who had found a pair of jeans that actually fit his tall, lanky frame. They cost more than his voucher allowed him and the clerk wouldn't bend. and damn, damn, damn, I didn't give him the extra four dollars. I'm ashamed and I'm still burdened about it, many years later.
Thank you for sharing, pat
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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I feel your pain. Years ago in a thrift store, I had a chance to help a young man who had found a pair of jeans that actually fit his tall, lanky frame. They cost more than his voucher allowed him and the clerk wouldn't bend. and damn, damn, damn, I didn't give him the extra four dollars. I'm ashamed and I'm still burdened about it, many years later.
Thank you for sharing, pat
Comment Written 13-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi, pat. I really appreciate your personal insights and sharing...thanks so much for your time and interest. Your generosity is much appreciated! Bev
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Bev
This essay once again displays your outstanding journalistic skills. National Geographic should hire you on the spot.
The metaphor of the mother goose and human mother comes over well. Your descriptions of people and places are vivid.
Okay, it's more or less a diary entry - a day in the life of Bev. But rich incidents like these could provide part of the fabric for a future novel?
Ron xox
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi Bev
This essay once again displays your outstanding journalistic skills. National Geographic should hire you on the spot.
The metaphor of the mother goose and human mother comes over well. Your descriptions of people and places are vivid.
Okay, it's more or less a diary entry - a day in the life of Bev. But rich incidents like these could provide part of the fabric for a future novel?
Ron xox
Comment Written 13-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi, Ron. You are so generous with your words of support. I am very honored by your encouragement. And, as you have wisely said, the scene is etched in my mind - I'm sure it will pop up again sometime. Thank you, my friend! XXX Bev
Comment from glpar
Very well written and it gives the reader much to think about. I feel we sometime second guess ourselves out of an opportunity to reach out to others, but hopefully we learn and when faced with a similar one will do it different.. Bless you, and thanks for sharing this story.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Very well written and it gives the reader much to think about. I feel we sometime second guess ourselves out of an opportunity to reach out to others, but hopefully we learn and when faced with a similar one will do it different.. Bless you, and thanks for sharing this story.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi, glpar. I thank you for your understanding words and support. You are most generous and kind. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from misscookie
I love your very moving story and sorry for the accident but it was an accident. In life things happen and feeling sorry and having a pity party will not change things. I know I'm just writing things you already know and it doesn't take away the feeling you have with in you. And when you went to the booth you tried to ease the thought from your mind until you saw that sad little girl and your heart just melted for her. This only chose that you are a caring and loving person for all living things. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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I love your very moving story and sorry for the accident but it was an accident. In life things happen and feeling sorry and having a pity party will not change things. I know I'm just writing things you already know and it doesn't take away the feeling you have with in you. And when you went to the booth you tried to ease the thought from your mind until you saw that sad little girl and your heart just melted for her. This only chose that you are a caring and loving person for all living things. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi, misscookie. What beautiful words of support. Thank you for taking time to read my essay. I feel bette for your reaching out with your hard-won wisdom. You are truly a gracious lady! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Writingfundimension. This is so good. You are observant and sensitive, two ingredients in the making of a good writer. I also wonder what would happen, if you took the chance of talking with the mom-to-be. Probably she would turn a cold shoulder, but probably she would open up and give you a good idea for a story. But I would act like you did, considering her attitude showed she did not like to be disturbed ...
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi, Writingfundimension. This is so good. You are observant and sensitive, two ingredients in the making of a good writer. I also wonder what would happen, if you took the chance of talking with the mom-to-be. Probably she would turn a cold shoulder, but probably she would open up and give you a good idea for a story. But I would act like you did, considering her attitude showed she did not like to be disturbed ...
Comment Written 13-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
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Hi, Belinda. I am gratified that you really see the situation clearly. I am a private person and I don't like to disturb others' privacy. Still, the voice was a strong indicator that she was in danger; and, for that, I regret not saying anything. At least I can keep her in my prayers. I so appreciate your moving and generous review. Blessings, Bev
