Death's Sadness
A sad day.121 total reviews
Comment from StevenJosephBruening
Flows well. Waste no time in creating the theme and the atmosphere of the piece. Fits form well.
"For the greatness lost"
Lovely line.
~ Steven
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Flows well. Waste no time in creating the theme and the atmosphere of the piece. Fits form well.
"For the greatness lost"
Lovely line.
~ Steven
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
Comment from Collie-Bug
I like this. I know that you can't write anymore as its a contest entry with guidelines but I love to hear more...who died? Good work.
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I like this. I know that you can't write anymore as its a contest entry with guidelines but I love to hear more...who died? Good work.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Death's Sadness' is an extremely well-written piece. Tinged with the tragedy of losing a loved one, this talented poet's work was a privilege to both read and review.
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'Death's Sadness' is an extremely well-written piece. Tinged with the tragedy of losing a loved one, this talented poet's work was a privilege to both read and review.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
Comment from themanicdude
Your poem reminds me of my Grandfather who I lost recently. There was so much I wish I could have said befoe he was gone.
Thankyou for sharing this powerful write.
Lee
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Your poem reminds me of my Grandfather who I lost recently. There was so much I wish I could have said befoe he was gone.
Thankyou for sharing this powerful write.
Lee
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
Comment from tamarap2
You have met your 5/7/5 syllabic count nicely and your lines are well written. However, because your first line ends with "today" , it makes no sense grammatically speaking that you are referencing Christ, whose physical life ended over 2000 years ago. So, I ask myself, do you in fact mean Christ, since you then go on to talk about the world deeply saddened for the greatest loss- which would make sense? Can you see how one might be confused? Not so much as to what you mean- I think it can be surmised that you are speaking of Christ- but confused relating to how you have chosen to write the first line? Can you revise it somehow or if I am way out in left field I most certainly would want you to correct my error. I can always update the rating I have chosen at this time.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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You have met your 5/7/5 syllabic count nicely and your lines are well written. However, because your first line ends with "today" , it makes no sense grammatically speaking that you are referencing Christ, whose physical life ended over 2000 years ago. So, I ask myself, do you in fact mean Christ, since you then go on to talk about the world deeply saddened for the greatest loss- which would make sense? Can you see how one might be confused? Not so much as to what you mean- I think it can be surmised that you are speaking of Christ- but confused relating to how you have chosen to write the first line? Can you revise it somehow or if I am way out in left field I most certainly would want you to correct my error. I can always update the rating I have chosen at this time.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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It was about my Grandfather.
Comment from The Stranger
I feel that this can be attribted to most deaths, everybody has someone who shall grieve their passing, even the most evil of criminals!
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I feel that this can be attribted to most deaths, everybody has someone who shall grieve their passing, even the most evil of criminals!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
Comment from jamma
This is nice. Is it about anyone in particular? Maybe a celebrity. Nice 5-7-5. The picture matches nicely. Good luck in the contest. Well done.
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This is nice. Is it about anyone in particular? Maybe a celebrity. Nice 5-7-5. The picture matches nicely. Good luck in the contest. Well done.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from gaelicgem
I love the poem. Very Emily Dickenson. It could be about anyone, even death himself.
I feel like maybe the photo chosen might be a bit too cheery for the content of the poem, but that is solely my opinion.
It is wonderfully written.
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I love the poem. Very Emily Dickenson. It could be about anyone, even death himself.
I feel like maybe the photo chosen might be a bit too cheery for the content of the poem, but that is solely my opinion.
It is wonderfully written.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from fairy77
I wonder who it was?Obviously someone close.Deaths are tragic unless sick or suffering.You loved this person in the poem very much.I hope you feel better soon.!Beth
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I wonder who it was?Obviously someone close.Deaths are tragic unless sick or suffering.You loved this person in the poem very much.I hope you feel better soon.!Beth
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from Terror2s
An excellent poem that says so much with so few words. I've always marveled how in the end most people remember the best of their loved ones lives. Terror
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An excellent poem that says so much with so few words. I've always marveled how in the end most people remember the best of their loved ones lives. Terror
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
