Eat Healthy
A poem that tells you not to eat junk food14 total reviews
Comment from 9999pool
Good advice on eating healthy. eat more fruits and vegetables, fibre meals and less oil, sugar and salt. Don't eat junk food it's not healthy. Before you eat, stop and think of the harmful effects. Cheers, Ritchie.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
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Good advice on eating healthy. eat more fruits and vegetables, fibre meals and less oil, sugar and salt. Don't eat junk food it's not healthy. Before you eat, stop and think of the harmful effects. Cheers, Ritchie.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
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Thanks.
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Welcome, cheers, Ritchie.
Comment from Rondeno
Is there something ironic going here that I'm not aware of? Or is it a public information broadcast? It's hard to tell any more.
reply by the author on 16-May-2013
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Is there something ironic going here that I'm not aware of? Or is it a public information broadcast? It's hard to tell any more.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 16-May-2013
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nope
Comment from terry drake
You created a senryu on nutrition in a 5-7-5 format that was well written and consistent within each of the lines. Very nicely done congratulations.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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You created a senryu on nutrition in a 5-7-5 format that was well written and consistent within each of the lines. Very nicely done congratulations.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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thanks for your feedback. Greatly appreciated.
- Sibbs Mahoney
Comment from sunnilicious
I like vegetables plenty. But thanks for the advice. Maybe I should eat start eating fruit rollups again. Good haiku. Best of luck in the contest. Happy 2012!
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2012
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I like vegetables plenty. But thanks for the advice. Maybe I should eat start eating fruit rollups again. Good haiku. Best of luck in the contest. Happy 2012!
Comment Written 01-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2012
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thanks man.
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you're welcome.... sunnilicious the woman
Comment from rjade1924
Maybe its just a simple and very realistic work. No mystery in it. I think is plain and bold. Hope you can try something mysterious but I seem like it in such an easy way of thinking... :)
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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2011
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Maybe its just a simple and very realistic work. No mystery in it. I think is plain and bold. Hope you can try something mysterious but I seem like it in such an easy way of thinking... :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2011
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yeah. you like simple so why go on rate it for 3
Comment from smipauls
Hi I liked your poetry. You have given a healthy message in a small poem and its alert you for having good health. The last sentence "Eat your fruits instead" can be written as "Eat the Fruits instead". Apart from this, I loved the poem.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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Hi I liked your poetry. You have given a healthy message in a small poem and its alert you for having good health. The last sentence "Eat your fruits instead" can be written as "Eat the Fruits instead". Apart from this, I loved the poem.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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okay.
it pretty much means the same thing so why are you giving me four stars??
Comment from Pera
Dear writer,I found your poem very amusing if it's your purpose, of course.But I also think it's too direct.Poetry is like the sea.We are staring at the surface trying to understand what is there at the bottom.Besides the truth is better than a beautiful lie.So, dear writer, stay honest but look deeper.Here is a little present for you.
I like your advice.
It sounds to me nice.
But as I can see
Adam doesn't agree.
Greetings!
Pera
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2011
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Dear writer,I found your poem very amusing if it's your purpose, of course.But I also think it's too direct.Poetry is like the sea.We are staring at the surface trying to understand what is there at the bottom.Besides the truth is better than a beautiful lie.So, dear writer, stay honest but look deeper.Here is a little present for you.
I like your advice.
It sounds to me nice.
But as I can see
Adam doesn't agree.
Greetings!
Pera
Comment Written 19-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2011
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okay thanks. could you give me an example of what in my poem sounds to direct and how i could change it. The contest rules say the poem should be like this. Out of all the reviews I have gotten so far, I never got this comment
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Dear Sibbs,all sentances beginnig with verbs sound like this.I think it's better to avoid orders.There are so many ways to make somebody do something.But it's my opinion. People are different.Your poem is good.I just wished to show you my point of view.
Pera
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k all right.
Comment from marnchers
Your poem sends a good message.. and I know its short and harder to write it short but it doesn't have the feel of a poem but more of someone telling everyone to eat healthier.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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Your poem sends a good message.. and I know its short and harder to write it short but it doesn't have the feel of a poem but more of someone telling everyone to eat healthier.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2011
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can you tell me what you mean by the feel of a poem because I have never got the comment before on this poem.
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I dunno for me poetry has a feeling to it... That you know it's poetry where as what you wrote looked more like someone talking than someone saying something in a poetic way. hope that helps and doesn't sound worse!
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the poem was supposed to be like that, did you enter or check the ad. I was supposed to be like talkin to someone
Comment from Teshy
This is a really good poem! Even though the poem is supposed to be short, you totally spoke the truth straight forward. I like your focus, to tell others not to eat junk food and warning them it's bad for them and than there is the solution to the problem. Very good!
I am looking forward to reading more of your work! :)
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2011
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This is a really good poem! Even though the poem is supposed to be short, you totally spoke the truth straight forward. I like your focus, to tell others not to eat junk food and warning them it's bad for them and than there is the solution to the problem. Very good!
I am looking forward to reading more of your work! :)
Comment Written 25-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2011
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thanks for your great review and kind stars. i like you comments.
Comment from gazzagodbod
yup great message good colouring but would have looked so much better with a picture though thats just me well worth the 5 stars for the message gazza
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2011
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yup great message good colouring but would have looked so much better with a picture though thats just me well worth the 5 stars for the message gazza
Comment Written 30-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2011
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thanks for your review
