Paranormal Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Intermission"Case Studies of Hauntings
61 total reviews
Comment from amahra
Loved the writing. As usually, very real characters and realistic dialogue. Another fine writing.
Emma's reply held a dark edge.[really nice line]
"We've been thinking all along that [that] bastard Charles killed his wife in a fit of jealous rage.[I know it seems funny, but the sentence has to have two 'thats' or maybe rewrite sentence so it requires only one.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Loved the writing. As usually, very real characters and realistic dialogue. Another fine writing.
Emma's reply held a dark edge.[really nice line]
"We've been thinking all along that [that] bastard Charles killed his wife in a fit of jealous rage.[I know it seems funny, but the sentence has to have two 'thats' or maybe rewrite sentence so it requires only one.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, Amahra. I really appreciate your support and generosity. You are correct about that line. I'll have to re-think it! :) Bev
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Hi, Bev-- I'm really starting to identify these characters now into their individual personas. It's a great read and keeps me involved and enjoying it, Giddy
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Hi, Bev-- I'm really starting to identify these characters now into their individual personas. It's a great read and keeps me involved and enjoying it, Giddy
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, Giddy. I'm glad you're along for the ride, as they say, and very much appreciate your support and generosity.
:) Bev
Comment from Joe_P
The story has drama, intrigue, and mystery. The background is captivating. The plot and characters are well-defined. The writing is superb and flows effortlessly with skill and precision. This is a quality story from a master writer.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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The story has drama, intrigue, and mystery. The background is captivating. The plot and characters are well-defined. The writing is superb and flows effortlessly with skill and precision. This is a quality story from a master writer.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Thank you so very much, Joe. I am grateful for your very kind comments and generous review.
Warm regards, Bev
Comment from JM daSilva
Bootlegger replaced by drug dealers and the fight continues. I'm curious about a ghost and a real case at the same time. I need to read more to understand it, but this chapter is intriguing.
cold, winter day (if you can't invert, saying winter cold day, then you have to remove the comma)
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Bootlegger replaced by drug dealers and the fight continues. I'm curious about a ghost and a real case at the same time. I need to read more to understand it, but this chapter is intriguing.
cold, winter day (if you can't invert, saying winter cold day, then you have to remove the comma)
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Hi, JM. Nice to hear from you! Thanks for taking time to read this re-posted chapter. I'll check out the area you mention, and thank you for the suggestion.
:) Bev
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Great pleasure.
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:)
Comment from Jay Squires
Well the paranormal is taking a turn at the end with another motive for the murders. Love this story.
Just a few nit-pickers.
The attraction between [Extra space between attraction and between.]
Let's get a move on...my growling stomach [Need a space fore and aft of a 3 dot ellipse. In case you want a source for this: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/ellipsis.htm]
who led them to their table.As soon [Space after "table".
An excellent chapter. Enjoying the tension between the characters.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Well the paranormal is taking a turn at the end with another motive for the murders. Love this story.
Just a few nit-pickers.
The attraction between [Extra space between attraction and between.]
Let's get a move on...my growling stomach [Need a space fore and aft of a 3 dot ellipse. In case you want a source for this: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/ellipsis.htm]
who led them to their table.As soon [Space after "table".
An excellent chapter. Enjoying the tension between the characters.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Hiya, Jay. Thanks so much for this awesome review. I appreciate your suggestions, too. Those spaces will be the death of me!!
Glad you enjoyed the chapter and appreciate the support.
:) Bev
Comment from Antoine Charlemaine
Six star quality, Bev! Wish I had one to give. Perhaps I should have waited... anyway, you know...
There is so much in this that's good. I like this sentence: 'Mia needs to express her abilities just as an artist needs to paint...' Your words express Mia's need perfectly.
There are a few things in your story that have similarities with mine...I know you won't think I'm plagiarising your thoughts! In a couple of chapters I'll be dealing with the renovators of Derringer Manor...a little differently to you, though. (Chapter 7 posting in another day or so, hard on the heels of my current one! I'm hating keeping readers in suspense for so long...wish I could commit more time to FS. :( Not to worry.)
Just one thing. I don't know what you will think about this, but I recall one grammar lesson quite vividly from my Grade 3 days: 'Try to avoid using the word 'got'...' 'Luke got busy zipping up his jacket,...' may read better simply as 'Luke was busily zipping up his jacket, leaving Mike on the hook...'. Just a thought... :)
Great chapter, Bev. Always a riveting read; keeps me going to the end without any problem.
Anthony.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Six star quality, Bev! Wish I had one to give. Perhaps I should have waited... anyway, you know...
There is so much in this that's good. I like this sentence: 'Mia needs to express her abilities just as an artist needs to paint...' Your words express Mia's need perfectly.
There are a few things in your story that have similarities with mine...I know you won't think I'm plagiarising your thoughts! In a couple of chapters I'll be dealing with the renovators of Derringer Manor...a little differently to you, though. (Chapter 7 posting in another day or so, hard on the heels of my current one! I'm hating keeping readers in suspense for so long...wish I could commit more time to FS. :( Not to worry.)
Just one thing. I don't know what you will think about this, but I recall one grammar lesson quite vividly from my Grade 3 days: 'Try to avoid using the word 'got'...' 'Luke got busy zipping up his jacket,...' may read better simply as 'Luke was busily zipping up his jacket, leaving Mike on the hook...'. Just a thought... :)
Great chapter, Bev. Always a riveting read; keeps me going to the end without any problem.
Anthony.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Hello, Antoine. I am going to take time tomorrow to read your novel. I certainly don't think plagiarism, especially with this sort of genre. We're all probably being subliminally influenced by Stephen King anyway LoL. I like that you are also using technical information that the experts have found in dealing with hauntings - that renovations can cause the spirits to become restless.
Your review really puts a smile on my face, my friend. The idea that you wished to give it a six is icing on the cake. And I do understand about how quickly those go when you're following a lot of writers.
Anyway, enjoy the rest of your weekend.
:) Bev
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Thanks, Bev. :)
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You're very welcome.
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I did mean to make one comment. Your chef is cooking in a copper pot... Copper was actually banned (along with aluminium) as cookware in commercial kitchens years ago. Copper can be part of the construction (and often is, especially in expensive cookware), but must not contact food. Just a small detail... (I'm a chef by trade.) :)
Comment from IndianaIrish
A wonderful chapter,mBev, full of fantastic descriptions and character development. I loved that kitchen, the lobster made me hungry, and The Tipsy Butler seems like an incredible place to visit.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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A wonderful chapter,mBev, full of fantastic descriptions and character development. I loved that kitchen, the lobster made me hungry, and The Tipsy Butler seems like an incredible place to visit.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Hi, Karyn. So good to hear from you. Thanks for your continued support and encouragement for this novel. I really appreciate your generosity! Hugs, Bev
Comment from seaglass
I'm glad to see another posting of this story. I had forgotten about it. Each segment gives opportunity to know the characters better. I'm looking forward to the action.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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I'm glad to see another posting of this story. I had forgotten about it. Each segment gives opportunity to know the characters better. I'm looking forward to the action.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Hi, seaglass. Thanks so much for reading my chapter and sending along this gracious review. Great to hear from you!
:) Bev
Comment from Drew Delaney
Wish I had a six-star for this chapter. You are sounding so professional in your writing. It's an amazing story and so far, hasn't given me the creeps, yet. LOL
I'm sure it will eventually, but I deal with similar things in my life. Horrific as it is, the reason, I only would like to know. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Wish I had a six-star for this chapter. You are sounding so professional in your writing. It's an amazing story and so far, hasn't given me the creeps, yet. LOL
I'm sure it will eventually, but I deal with similar things in my life. Horrific as it is, the reason, I only would like to know. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Drew, thanks for this gracious review. I really appreciate your continued interest and support for my novel. Your wish for a six is truly icing on the cake, my friend.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from lakeport
Intermission, indeed there is alot going on in that house, I enjoyed reading the story. God bless you. Hugs!Lakeport....
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Intermission, indeed there is alot going on in that house, I enjoyed reading the story. God bless you. Hugs!Lakeport....
Comment Written 08-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Hi, Lakeport. Thanks for the great review. I appreciate it! :) Bev
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you are welcome,Hugs!lakeport.
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:)
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you are welcome,Hugs!lakeport.
