Adrift
a contest entry about loneliness122 total reviews
Comment from /*Twinkle
I thought this was a sad poem, but if you are in a sad mood, it is perfect. (not that I am in a sad mood, I am fine) I like the simile ending.."Tattered like storm-shattered sails" water is known to rule the emotions, storm shattered sails really describes the feeling.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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I thought this was a sad poem, but if you are in a sad mood, it is perfect. (not that I am in a sad mood, I am fine) I like the simile ending.."Tattered like storm-shattered sails" water is known to rule the emotions, storm shattered sails really describes the feeling.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Morning, twinkle - Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. My husband and I love to sail, so the last line was a 'natural' for me to use. Glad you liked it - that's my favorite line, also.
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from nanna
I like the broken heart you chose as the illustration. The poem follows the correct method of Tanka and is well written.I particularly like the final line with its alliteration, 'tattered like storm shattered sails', is brilliant writing. A great poem thanks nanna
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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I like the broken heart you chose as the illustration. The poem follows the correct method of Tanka and is well written.I particularly like the final line with its alliteration, 'tattered like storm shattered sails', is brilliant writing. A great poem thanks nanna
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Morning Nanna - Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. So glad you liked the last line - that's my favorite, too!
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from Minglement
Gorgeous entry for the Tanka Poetry contest. Beautiful presentation for your evocative and poignant words, so well expressing the emotions when love has gone wrong. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Gorgeous entry for the Tanka Poetry contest. Beautiful presentation for your evocative and poignant words, so well expressing the emotions when love has gone wrong. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Evening Marcia - Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. Your kind words (and stars) are always appreciated.
Have a great week - sherry
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You are most welcome, Sherry. Have a great week yourself! Marcia
Comment from missy98writer
Your poem is excellently written with splendid imagery. Cool art work. Your narrative is very emotional. I enjoyed the phrase "hot tears flood my soul." You've effectively used both metaphor and alliteration in your Tanka poem. Your Tanka is in proper form with spot on syllabLe count. I wish you good luck in the contest. It was my delight reading your poetic art.
Melissa.
Author Notes
Entry for Tanka contest - syllable count of 5-7-5-7-7
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Your poem is excellently written with splendid imagery. Cool art work. Your narrative is very emotional. I enjoyed the phrase "hot tears flood my soul." You've effectively used both metaphor and alliteration in your Tanka poem. Your Tanka is in proper form with spot on syllabLe count. I wish you good luck in the contest. It was my delight reading your poetic art.
Melissa.
Author Notes
Entry for Tanka contest - syllable count of 5-7-5-7-7
Comment Written 06-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Evening, Melissa - Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. Your kind words are appreciated.
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from Joan E.
You took on a strong personal and communicated despair well. I admired your tanka form and effective pivot. Your presentation and picture choice are striking. Best wishes in the contest. -Joan
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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You took on a strong personal and communicated despair well. I admired your tanka form and effective pivot. Your presentation and picture choice are striking. Best wishes in the contest. -Joan
Comment Written 06-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Evening Joan - Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. Your kind words are appreciated.
Have a great week - sherry
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Thanks for sharing. I have not read your work for a while--happenstance, I guess--but I remembering admiring it. I hope your week is pleasant and productive as well. -Joan
Comment from Majicman
This is a very powerful poem of heart break love. I feel you have mastered the Tanka with this poem, and have a very good chance at winning the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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This is a very powerful poem of heart break love. I feel you have mastered the Tanka with this poem, and have a very good chance at winning the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. Your kind words are appreciated.
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Good luck in the contest with your tanka. It has lots of feeling as it progresses through the emotional twists and turns of the situation. Giddy
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Good luck in the contest with your tanka. It has lots of feeling as it progresses through the emotional twists and turns of the situation. Giddy
Comment Written 06-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Evening, Giddy - Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. Your kind words are appreciated.
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from Amicus
I like your tanka, sherrygreywolf. It meets contest requirements, has a smooth flow, pivots nicely on the third line and effectively conveys the emotion of a love grown old and cold.
Good luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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I like your tanka, sherrygreywolf. It meets contest requirements, has a smooth flow, pivots nicely on the third line and effectively conveys the emotion of a love grown old and cold.
Good luck in the competition.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. Your kind words are appreciated.
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from Kingsland
This has some good phrasing in it. Even though the flow is a bit rough. I liked the thoughts and the emotional drive within it. It was just a delight to have read and written this response for... John
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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This has some good phrasing in it. Even though the flow is a bit rough. I liked the thoughts and the emotional drive within it. It was just a delight to have read and written this response for... John
Comment Written 06-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Evening, John - Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. Glad you enjoyed it.
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from Leonidus07
An extremely well done poem about lost love. My friend went through something like this, and it was extremely hard time. This poem is great. Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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An extremely well done poem about lost love. My friend went through something like this, and it was extremely hard time. This poem is great. Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2011
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Thanks for taking the time to read & comment on my poem, Adrift. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Also, thanks for the 6!
Have a great week - sherry
