Adrift
a contest entry about loneliness122 total reviews
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Adrift' is a well-written and heart-wrenching piece. To live with someone who once loved you and has retreated, must be a living nightmare. This work was a pleasure to both read and review.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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'Adrift' is a well-written and heart-wrenching piece. To live with someone who once loved you and has retreated, must be a living nightmare. This work was a pleasure to both read and review.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks for taking the time to read & comment on my poem, Adrift.
Have a great week - sherry
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sherry, you're more than welcome. I hope you have a great week too.
Best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from Melspoems
Very clever poem.
I think I am understanding it to be about someone who feels alone but is not really alone, just might as well be because the person they are with no longer loves them. This can be the worst type of loneliness.
It is a beautiful sad poem.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Very clever poem.
I think I am understanding it to be about someone who feels alone but is not really alone, just might as well be because the person they are with no longer loves them. This can be the worst type of loneliness.
It is a beautiful sad poem.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks for taking the time to read & comment on my poem, Adrift. And yes, you've understood the meaning of the poem correctly. Glad you enjoyed it!
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from InterestingRon
I have often found these ultra short poems, such as a Tanka, clever, but not really long enough to have an impact.
Well, you just proved me wrong! Your stunning poetry is sad, poignant and full of the emotion of lost love. The metaphor of shattered sails is striking.
You found the perfect illustration too.
Good luck in the contest.
Ron
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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I have often found these ultra short poems, such as a Tanka, clever, but not really long enough to have an impact.
Well, you just proved me wrong! Your stunning poetry is sad, poignant and full of the emotion of lost love. The metaphor of shattered sails is striking.
You found the perfect illustration too.
Good luck in the contest.
Ron
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. Your comments have made my day! Glad you enjoyed the last line, especially - that's my favorite, too.
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from heyjude
sherry, a very powerful and poignant tanka. So much
can be said in just a few words and this is packed
full of emotion. Very well done for the tanka contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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sherry, a very powerful and poignant tanka. So much
can be said in just a few words and this is packed
full of emotion. Very well done for the tanka contest.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks for taking the time to read & comment on my poem, Adrift.
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from Tawnyowl
This is a nice short poem. The image is good of tattered sails to depict your now shattered love. This is a very economic poem, terse and yet still replete. Your language is measured and the natural flow is good.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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This is a nice short poem. The image is good of tattered sails to depict your now shattered love. This is a very economic poem, terse and yet still replete. Your language is measured and the natural flow is good.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. Comments such as your are valuable - thanks again!
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from fairy77
Wow you don't explain in your notes why there's tension.You might want to make the font bigger.You had me guessing.Good description and vocab.You describe emotions very well.beth
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Wow you don't explain in your notes why there's tension.You might want to make the font bigger.You had me guessing.Good description and vocab.You describe emotions very well.beth
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Morning, Beth - Thanks for taking the time to read & critique my poem, Adrift. I took another look and believe you are right about the font size - I'll go in and change that in a bit. Glad you enjoyed the poem ...
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from ameen786
Ah, you captured the pain of loneliness superbly, what can be more painful than despite having the one you love so close, you don't feel the passion of love, great job, good luck.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Ah, you captured the pain of loneliness superbly, what can be more painful than despite having the one you love so close, you don't feel the passion of love, great job, good luck.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks for taking the time to read & comment on my poem, Adrift.
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Sherry Greywolf, excellent love poem Tanka. I thought your words held power and depth. Well crafted. Wish you all the best in the competition.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Sherry Greywolf, excellent love poem Tanka. I thought your words held power and depth. Well crafted. Wish you all the best in the competition.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Morning, Isaiah - Thanks for taking the time to read & comment on my poem, Adrift.
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from mushroom
You make me feel sorry for this person, like they have lost their lover or soul mate, like someone has turned their back on something that was or could have been beautiful, just the feeling it made me have, liked this a lot
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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You make me feel sorry for this person, like they have lost their lover or soul mate, like someone has turned their back on something that was or could have been beautiful, just the feeling it made me have, liked this a lot
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks for taking the time to read & comment on my poem, Adrift. Glad you enjoyed it!
Have a great week - sherry
Comment from denhagan
This was an excellent tanka poem for the contest about loneliness experienced by a woman lying side by side with a man who's love for her had grown cold. I appreciated reading this poem.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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This was an excellent tanka poem for the contest about loneliness experienced by a woman lying side by side with a man who's love for her had grown cold. I appreciated reading this poem.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read & comment on my poem, Adrift.
Have a great week - sherry
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You are quite welcome. Thanks. ~denhagan
