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Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "haiku (autumn tapestry)"keep your hope alive....
22 total reviews
Comment from missy98writer
shelley kaye,
your haiku is beautifully written and your lovely words paint a mental picture in the readers head of the rainbow of hues of the leaves in fall time. Your Haiku is in proper form and has spot on syllable count of 5/7/5. The art work you used is gorgeous. You did a great job using metaphor: "bears the faint prints of our soles." I like your effective satori line. I liked all of your lines: "rainbow tapestry bears the faint prints of our soles autumn's fallen leaves." Your haiku titled autumn tapestry is excellent and a real contender in the Haiku Poetry contest. I wish you good luck in the contest with your haiku which I'd recommend for other reviewers to read. Keep on writing and have a lovely day.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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shelley kaye,
your haiku is beautifully written and your lovely words paint a mental picture in the readers head of the rainbow of hues of the leaves in fall time. Your Haiku is in proper form and has spot on syllable count of 5/7/5. The art work you used is gorgeous. You did a great job using metaphor: "bears the faint prints of our soles." I like your effective satori line. I liked all of your lines: "rainbow tapestry bears the faint prints of our soles autumn's fallen leaves." Your haiku titled autumn tapestry is excellent and a real contender in the Haiku Poetry contest. I wish you good luck in the contest with your haiku which I'd recommend for other reviewers to read. Keep on writing and have a lovely day.
Melissa.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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thank you melissa :)
Comment from sydney4747
The visual is automatically appealing! Your poem has a really good flow, and it's only a few lines! I like that you've chosen not to use punctuation--it adds to the complexity of the poem. Great job!
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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The visual is automatically appealing! Your poem has a really good flow, and it's only a few lines! I like that you've chosen not to use punctuation--it adds to the complexity of the poem. Great job!
Comment Written 14-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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thank you sydney :)
Comment from Helen Tan
A vivid tapestry of an autumn scene - nature, season all haiku themes captured in perfect line and syllable count.
Good luck in the contest. =D
rainbow tapestry
I like the choice of "tapestry" - a woven picture telling of scenes from life. This is what the fallen mostly russet leaves look like as they lay like a mosaic on the ground. "rainbow' - a spectrum of colour and when the sun streams through the almost bare branches on these leaves, a wider spectrum is perceived.
bears the faint prints of our soles
I like the play on "soles" and souls. These leaves are pretty resilient, trodden on by our feet but they don't crumple or tear that easily do they?
autumn's fallen leaves
"fallen" but not forgotten, going out in a blaze of colour, marveled by all who set sight on them. What a great way to go.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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A vivid tapestry of an autumn scene - nature, season all haiku themes captured in perfect line and syllable count.
Good luck in the contest. =D
rainbow tapestry
I like the choice of "tapestry" - a woven picture telling of scenes from life. This is what the fallen mostly russet leaves look like as they lay like a mosaic on the ground. "rainbow' - a spectrum of colour and when the sun streams through the almost bare branches on these leaves, a wider spectrum is perceived.
bears the faint prints of our soles
I like the play on "soles" and souls. These leaves are pretty resilient, trodden on by our feet but they don't crumple or tear that easily do they?
autumn's fallen leaves
"fallen" but not forgotten, going out in a blaze of colour, marveled by all who set sight on them. What a great way to go.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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thank you helen :)
Comment from Serri
Nice haiku! I have never thought of connecting "rainbow" with autumn. I like how you did this, very creative imagery. I love it, and the picture you chose to go along is very soulful. Blessings, Serri
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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Nice haiku! I have never thought of connecting "rainbow" with autumn. I like how you did this, very creative imagery. I love it, and the picture you chose to go along is very soulful. Blessings, Serri
Comment Written 14-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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thank you serri :)
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:)
Comment from Irish Rose
A new way to perceive the leaves fallen from autumn's change. Well written and great flowing. Keep up the good work.
Rose
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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A new way to perceive the leaves fallen from autumn's change. Well written and great flowing. Keep up the good work.
Rose
Comment Written 14-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2011
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thank you rose :)
Comment from vickib
Hi Shelley, man I got behind. This is so cool. I love it and how it sounds and the idea of it so much, now that paints a picture. And the 1st and 3rd lines could be the satori I think. And because the rules are more open for this contest you can use personification. Something I always want to do. I like the way you set up this haiku too. How do you get the words on top instead of under? Super haiku Shelley I hope you win that real money. I've decided now I'm only entering those kind. Not that I'd win then, LOL!!!!! XO Vicki
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
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Hi Shelley, man I got behind. This is so cool. I love it and how it sounds and the idea of it so much, now that paints a picture. And the 1st and 3rd lines could be the satori I think. And because the rules are more open for this contest you can use personification. Something I always want to do. I like the way you set up this haiku too. How do you get the words on top instead of under? Super haiku Shelley I hope you win that real money. I've decided now I'm only entering those kind. Not that I'd win then, LOL!!!!! XO Vicki
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
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photobucket.com :)
Comment from Lise Deangelo
I love this haiku, particularly your second line.
"bears the faint prints of our soles" What a wonderful image. Thanks so much for sharing this lovely one, and
best of luck with the contest :) Lise
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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I love this haiku, particularly your second line.
"bears the faint prints of our soles" What a wonderful image. Thanks so much for sharing this lovely one, and
best of luck with the contest :) Lise
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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than kyuou lise :)
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello shelley love the use of the word soles in your haiku and your satori line
A very vivid haiku
good luck to you.
Gert
reply by the author on 21-May-2011
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Hello shelley love the use of the word soles in your haiku and your satori line
A very vivid haiku
good luck to you.
Gert
Comment Written 21-May-2011
reply by the author on 21-May-2011
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thank you gert :)
Comment from Phoenix Rising
The world is a tapestry and we do leave our marks upon it. And rainbows come and go like the fallen leaves every autumn.
I really liked this haiku.
Phoenix Rising
reply by the author on 21-May-2011
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The world is a tapestry and we do leave our marks upon it. And rainbows come and go like the fallen leaves every autumn.
I really liked this haiku.
Phoenix Rising
Comment Written 21-May-2011
reply by the author on 21-May-2011
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thank you phoenix :-)
Comment from Sasha
I wrote a review but suddenly the site shut down, so I will try again. This is a super Haiku. The visual image your create is awesome. I love the entire poem but the first line took my breath away. This is a perfect entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 21-May-2011
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I wrote a review but suddenly the site shut down, so I will try again. This is a super Haiku. The visual image your create is awesome. I love the entire poem but the first line took my breath away. This is a perfect entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 21-May-2011
reply by the author on 21-May-2011
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sure hope so - could use that 100 bucks! LOL!!!! thanx smurphette :-D
