Paranormal Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Bellingham Manor"Case Studies of Hauntings
75 total reviews
Comment from patmedium
Clear, concise descriptions without flim-flam. I like the way you write, dear. Nicely done. I am interested to see how you will be developing this. Pat. xxx
to investige some paranormal claims here at the estate [investigate]
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2011
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Clear, concise descriptions without flim-flam. I like the way you write, dear. Nicely done. I am interested to see how you will be developing this. Pat. xxx
to investige some paranormal claims here at the estate [investigate]
Comment Written 18-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2011
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Hi, Pat. Thanks so much. I'm especially interested in any insights you have to offer, so you have made me smile with your
kind words. Thanks for checking out the chapter and taking time to review. I appreciate you! Warm regards, Bev
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You would have lost me if you had started using flim-flam and mysticism, dear. I like the spiritual stuff just as it is, with no decorations, artistic or otherwise. I have no criticism. xxx
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Thanks again, Pat. Folks on the site have been known to critize the unvarnished story as not being scary enough - I have nothing to offer to a comment as ridiculous as that. Thanks again for getting it!! Cheers, Bev
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Just tell 'em that a true medium finds nothing scary in spirit, so why should they start using Hollywood tricks? xxx
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P.S. Otherwise, just send 'em to me! LOL. I'll sort 'em out. xxx
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He He. Do you do voodoo too? LOL
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Cheeky madam! LOL. xxx
Comment from adewpearl
Rough night, Mia? - add the question mark
drive thru for Luke, who was always hungry - add the comma
rumors about the place being haunted." Emma began - haunted," Emma
Excellent use of dialogue and a fascinating story line.
This place must be beautiful in the Fall - fall
I have no idea why the names of seasons are not capitalized, but they aren't.
Brooke
Excellent description of Mia's psychic visions
Good use of natural-sounding dialogue.
You keep the plot intriguing, for sure. Brooke
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2011
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Rough night, Mia? - add the question mark
drive thru for Luke, who was always hungry - add the comma
rumors about the place being haunted." Emma began - haunted," Emma
Excellent use of dialogue and a fascinating story line.
This place must be beautiful in the Fall - fall
I have no idea why the names of seasons are not capitalized, but they aren't.
Brooke
Excellent description of Mia's psychic visions
Good use of natural-sounding dialogue.
You keep the plot intriguing, for sure. Brooke
Comment Written 18-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2011
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Hi, Brooke. Another helpful review from the top reviewer on the site. I really appreciate you catching the erros and I'll make the changes as you recommend. Thanks for stopping by to read the story and offer your insights! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Paula Andrea Pyle
The psychic world is certainly a horse of a different color. But, you have produced a well written informative piece which illuminates the reader and makes for investigative study.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2011
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The psychic world is certainly a horse of a different color. But, you have produced a well written informative piece which illuminates the reader and makes for investigative study.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2011
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Hi, Paula. Thanks so kindly for reading my chapter and offering your supportive insight. I much appreciate the effort and time! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from chita
You have written a great story--I got drawn into the story from the very first line and I had to check and see if it was non-fiction--for this setting to be in Maine is possible for this type of paranormal activity--you give good description and I can't wait for the next chapter--great job.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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You have written a great story--I got drawn into the story from the very first line and I had to check and see if it was non-fiction--for this setting to be in Maine is possible for this type of paranormal activity--you give good description and I can't wait for the next chapter--great job.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Hi, chita. Thanks a lot for checking out my book chapter. I really appreciate your interest and hope you'll free to make any suggestions with the succeeding chapters. Best wishes, Bev
Comment from Bellringer
Excellent and flawless writing in your second chapter. Your narrative drew me in and your characters are sympathetic. Your well thought out details lend believability to this chapter. I look forward to reading more. Blessings, Hector
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Excellent and flawless writing in your second chapter. Your narrative drew me in and your characters are sympathetic. Your well thought out details lend believability to this chapter. I look forward to reading more. Blessings, Hector
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Hi, Hector. Thank you so much for your touching and supportive review! You are most kind. And, I am very glad to have you along for the journey. With your sharp eye and good sense of what works, I look forward to any suggestions you might have on making any of it better. Thanks again! Bev
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You're most welcome, Bev. You are doing very well with the sense of movement and tension that keeps the reader's attention. Blessings, Hector
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Thanks again! Bev
Comment from livingwords
This is fascinating stuff. And I love your plain, easy to read writing style. I'm not sure the Terms are necessary, but it doesn't matter. The story is being well told, that's all that counts. Dan :))
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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This is fascinating stuff. And I love your plain, easy to read writing style. I'm not sure the Terms are necessary, but it doesn't matter. The story is being well told, that's all that counts. Dan :))
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Hi, Dan. You'd be suprised what kind of comments I get when I don't explain all the terms! Or maybe you wouldn't LOL. I like to err on the side of too much info. when its comes to posting on the site. Thanks you SO much for your interest and your great review. I see you have a posting that I'll be checking out later today. Always enjoy your writes, my friend. Best wishes, Bev
Comment from JW
Whew, what small print this was post in. I definitely had to zoom in, in order to read it.
Not unexpectedly, the chapter is well written and makes and excellent addition to your story. The words and sentences flowed smoothly and everything seemed very realistic. Good job.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Whew, what small print this was post in. I definitely had to zoom in, in order to read it.
Not unexpectedly, the chapter is well written and makes and excellent addition to your story. The words and sentences flowed smoothly and everything seemed very realistic. Good job.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Hi, Jonathon. I'm disappointed to hear that it came out small for you. I went with a six 16 font, which looked pretty good to me, but I'll certainly go back with a fresh eye. Things like that can chase a reader away! I sure appreciate you taking time to read it anyway. And thanks for your supportive comments and excellent review. Much appreciated! Bev
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Thanks. Maybe it is just the way IE9 is handling it.
Please have a great day, Bev.
Jonathon
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You bet my friend. And I do appreciate your expressed concern and your getting my back! I'll be viewing your latest today - see you're getting some great reviews. Much deserved! Best wishes, Bev
Comment from WilliamDeen
Very good writing. I really like the character descriptions that allows the reader to picture in their mind what the person looks like and provides a little of their personality. Your dialogue really moves the story along at a good pace and the story itself is very interesting. Look forward to more. Good Work & Keep Writing!
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Very good writing. I really like the character descriptions that allows the reader to picture in their mind what the person looks like and provides a little of their personality. Your dialogue really moves the story along at a good pace and the story itself is very interesting. Look forward to more. Good Work & Keep Writing!
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Hi, W.D. I did a slight revision in one of the early paragraphs due to a review from another reader. I think it adds a bit to the piece, something that was not obvious to me as I am so familiar with psi terms. I have to remember that some readers are new to this area and be respectful of that. Candid reviews really can offer some great insights. Thank you so much for continuing to read. I really appreciate you! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Bev
A great addition to your book.
That journalistic, documentary style of yours in much in evidence - and no one does it better than you.
One thing I'm not sure about - are the original T.A.P.T. files written accounts or TV documentaries?
Looking forward to the third installment.
Ron xx
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Hi Bev
A great addition to your book.
That journalistic, documentary style of yours in much in evidence - and no one does it better than you.
One thing I'm not sure about - are the original T.A.P.T. files written accounts or TV documentaries?
Looking forward to the third installment.
Ron xx
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Hi, Ron. Thanks for checking out my chapter my friend. The folks that do the shows on T.V. are called TAPS and their shows are available on network T.V. My group is made up of different characters and will end up delving into the things in a far more in-depth manner than anyone on T.V. does. Most of them scoff at psychics, etc. which irks me to no end as they usually get evidence of the ghosts and then skeedaddle back home (or run screaming as yuu saw in England) to let the clients deal with them on their own. Thanks again, Ron. I'm new at this chapter/book business, so any suggestions have are much appreciated. XXX Bev
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Hi Bev. Only suggestion on presentation. I wouldn't bother with Chap 1/Chap 3 headings while you're writing Chap 2! Could be confusing. Background title at the top, for readers who missed an earlier installment, is fine. Try and leave the ending as a cliffhanger. Jenkins Porter cleared his throat and began to tell his story...
Something like that. XX
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Those are good suggestion, Ron. I was feeling this chapter was getting a little long, so I opted to stop just short of their actual interview with him. But I do see what you are saying. I'm going to take a look based on your recommendations and may have to have your clarify. Thanks so much for your support, Ron. XX Bev
Comment from Dale95
Hi Writing. Good build up of tension and sharing of the details. The involvement I feel right now, with the group's purpose to rest any lost souls has me ready to pack a suitcase and head on up there to help. My first suggestion would be to locate their headquarters a little closer. LOL. But, other than that I would be content to be a fly on the wall.
This sentence confused me a tad.
(The story was shocking (with?) the violent nature of the deaths.)
Good read. Write On. - Dale
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Hi Writing. Good build up of tension and sharing of the details. The involvement I feel right now, with the group's purpose to rest any lost souls has me ready to pack a suitcase and head on up there to help. My first suggestion would be to locate their headquarters a little closer. LOL. But, other than that I would be content to be a fly on the wall.
This sentence confused me a tad.
(The story was shocking (with?) the violent nature of the deaths.)
Good read. Write On. - Dale
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Hi, Dale. I'm trying to get another chapter out pretty soon. Got to start getting some of the 'spooky' stuff into the mix! Thanks so much for the interest and your catching my spag, Dale. Anything else you feel might improve the piece, just let me know. Warm regards, Bev
